south Florida drivers
Of all the places I've driven, which I'll admit doesn't amount to much, south FL drivers win the "I can't drive for shit" award hands down. And I've taken into account the time I spent in Mexico too. That's saying something.
FU
to:
- the bitch who tried to plow me down this morning in front of the grocery store because she blew through a stop sign. You're only going to make me walk slower, hoar!
- people who think "merge" means "follow the lane until it ends and then cram your car into the line of traffic."
- people who sit there long after the light has changed to green moving their gorilla foot from the brake to the gas.
- people who don't put their kids in seatbelts and/or carseats. How hard is it? Really. There's nothing like someone's 4 year old bouncing around in the backseat, swinging from the headliner and stopping long enough to flick you off.
- people who leave 3 fuggin car spaces ahead of them at the light. WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM ASSBAG?! We all want to get through the light and somehow I don't think that Kia Rio is going to roll backward on you. And I LOVE when someone else shimmies into that space they leave. Serves them right.
- people who tailgate, especially when all they have to do is move into the next lane to be free of the person. Not only will I not go faster, I will slow down to an aggravating speed until you swerve from behind me in frustration. Before I became a mother I had been known to slam on my brakes, and watch in glee as they clutched the steering-wheel in fear for their lives. Or they chased me down to try and do the same to me :D Biters. Get your own revenge tactic!
- people who miss a turn or pass wherever it is they wanted to go and decide it's appropriate to stop in the middle of the lane instead of going further down and making a U-turn. You missed it - too bad, go turn around. You're not the only one on the road.
Oh and a random FU goes to the people who keep the Maury Povich show on the air! Yeah.
FU
to:
- the bitch who tried to plow me down this morning in front of the grocery store because she blew through a stop sign. You're only going to make me walk slower, hoar!
- people who think "merge" means "follow the lane until it ends and then cram your car into the line of traffic."
- people who sit there long after the light has changed to green moving their gorilla foot from the brake to the gas.
- people who don't put their kids in seatbelts and/or carseats. How hard is it? Really. There's nothing like someone's 4 year old bouncing around in the backseat, swinging from the headliner and stopping long enough to flick you off.
- people who leave 3 fuggin car spaces ahead of them at the light. WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM ASSBAG?! We all want to get through the light and somehow I don't think that Kia Rio is going to roll backward on you. And I LOVE when someone else shimmies into that space they leave. Serves them right.
- people who tailgate, especially when all they have to do is move into the next lane to be free of the person. Not only will I not go faster, I will slow down to an aggravating speed until you swerve from behind me in frustration. Before I became a mother I had been known to slam on my brakes, and watch in glee as they clutched the steering-wheel in fear for their lives. Or they chased me down to try and do the same to me :D Biters. Get your own revenge tactic!
- people who miss a turn or pass wherever it is they wanted to go and decide it's appropriate to stop in the middle of the lane instead of going further down and making a U-turn. You missed it - too bad, go turn around. You're not the only one on the road.
Oh and a random FU goes to the people who keep the Maury Povich show on the air! Yeah.