Folie A Duex Chapter 14
Ok here's the latest.. a little slow in coming but i've been distracted lately :p I mean I already had it witten and all just hadn't gotten around to updtingmy my journal of late hehe. And I haven't done a music post but I will soon. Anyways... this is a bit of a talky chapter, but then again my fics usually are.. as far as what happens to Claire when Not-John comes back.. well he'll be absent for a little bit longer. and then we'll see won't we?" hehe
Chapter 14
Sayid stalked down hall, feeling the anger building and needing a release. It was the reason he had to get away from her. He was afraid of himsel right now. Of his thougths and potential. He had a spent a lifetime keeping this stuff under control, trying to keep the calmer demeanor but now it seemed like he could barely control himself anymore.
He swung a door open hard and found a larger room and grabbed a chair and threw it across acorss the room as hard as he could, watching it break against the wall.And did a second one as welll just for the hell of it. He shut his eyes for a second and took several shallow breaths before he heard a voice behind.
"Damn Mohammed what'd those poor chairs ever do to you?" Sawyer asked, leaning against the doorframe. with a six-pick of beer in his hand. Taking a break from Claire for a little bit.
Sayid acutally smiled a little at Sawyer's remark, putting his hands on his on his head and smoothing hi s hair back before answereing.
"Simply unfortunate victims of circumstance my friend." He answered, before leaning agains the table and crossing his arms.
"Seems to be alot of that goin around."
Sawyer shook his head and took a can of Dharma beer off the plastic ring of the six-pack . Without saying anything he tossed one to Sayid, who caught it deflty in one hand. Noramlly he didn't drink beer but he need something right now to take the edge off.
"Rough day huh?" Said Sawyer, pulling a chair that Sayid hadn't destroyed. "Spose tha'ts an understatement though huh?"
Sayid leaned against the table and popped the tab on his own beer, taking a big gulp of it. It burned his throat and it was exactly what he need right now. It was bitter and warm and it focused him a littlemore.
"It has been difficcult yes." He answered, crossing his arms as he leanded against the table.
"She's gettin to ya huh?" Sawyer asked, not having to say who he meant.
"Yes.. she is.." He confessed, aking another gulp. "In more ways than one.." He closed his eyes for a moment. "But it is not just her.."
Shannon's up and down mood swings were frustrating enough but his own own reactions to it were worse to him. Part of him wanting to comfort her, the other part wantining to shake her until her nose bled. His earlier thougths of nasty things he could do to her bothered him greatly. Almost as much as his memories of the temple. And all these violent thoughts were stained red and took considerable will to withostand.
"I feel like i' am constantly fighting agianst myself now." He told Sawyer, resting the beer on the table and putting his hands on his head again as if he had a headache.
Sawyer had a pretty good idea of what Sayid was talkking about. It was difficult even under normal cirrcumstances. But these were the most insane ones of all. And he knew that in a way, Sayid needed to unburden himself of something dark and nasty. Sawyer was well aquaintted with those particular things himself.
"What happened at the temple Sayid?" He finallly asked him, taking a drink of his beer.
Sayid ran his hands through his hair again before answering. "It killed them all..." He confessed, his eyes getting that haunted look. "Because I let it in.."
He drank more of his beer, relishing the bitter taste of it. The morories were horrible, of mindless killing with no purpose at all, just for the sake of it seeed. Of sitting there staring at a bloody knife as the 2 bodies floated in teh water in front of him. Of the carnage that resulted in the deaths of alot of people.
"I drowned him... Dogan and then.. the other man came and I just... cut his throat.." He said, clsing his eyes. "And thereofre killed evenyone else as well.."
Sawyer didn't say anything, didn't have to. He was never one for pep talks or that touchy feeliy stuff and he knew Sayid wasn't either. He hmself had his own memories of dark things best left behind closed doors. He lifted his beer and drank some more and looked at Sayid.
"What's done is done."He said simply. "You can beat yourself up about it... or you can do something bout it.. ,, that's all there is to it really."
The 2 men fell into silence for a moment, Sayid contemplatting Sawyers words. The man had a simple way of saying things like that. Things that made sense when you thought about them. He rput his plm up against his eye and rubbed hard, as if trying to to just rub the visions and thouths out.. He opened his eyes and saw Sawyer put his hands on his knees and stand up
"And as far as Sticks goes...all I can tell you is.. that girl needs ya.." He said, finishing his beer. "She ya to show her whoe she really is.."
He crunchedd up his beer can and threw it in a barrel that read 'Dharm Recyles" which under other circumstance would amuse him greatly. To him the 2 girls were the ultimate victims in this whole mess, and had to be their focus for now.
"You 'll figure it out..." Sawyer told Sayid, with a ptatened Sawyer smile. "ya always do.."
Sayid knew he was right about that too. He just had to figute out how to make her face herself. Caue he needed her too, needed her to keep him grounded. And once again his thougths turned to his lost daughter, who needed him steady as well. So he tried to focus on what needed to be done now. Using his analytical mind to think up strrategu.And it startered to come to him, when he wqs focused like this.
"What of those fences."Sayid said as he finished up his drink. Sawyer thentossed him another one. "The pylons.. did it not keep it out?"
"Yeah it did." Sawyer answered, seeing what Mohammed was getting at there. "It created some sort of force thingamajig that basically covered the complex..and whattever that thing is.. it can't get through it."
"Precisly.." Said Sayid, his eyes getting that look in them. Like he had a plan now. A fouus.
"So what's the pan?" Sawyer asked Sayid, getting a glint in his own eyes. "Cause I know you got one now.." "
Sayid just smiled darkly. "A trap." Was all he said.
"I like the way you thinnk Ali.." He answered with a smirk.
Sayid's mind turned back to Shannon now, having another idea as well. He stood up, finishing more of the dreadful tasting beer as Sawyer got up as well.
"But first we must attend to them." Sayid said, walking to the door.
"Yeah.. i'm sure Mamacit misses me already." Said Sawyer with a chuckle.
Sayid actually smilied a little"I'm sure she does." He held the can up for a moment. "And I must say.. this tastes poistivly dreadful."
"Amen to that." Said Sawyer with another chuckle. "But I take what I can get these days.." He looked over Sayid, who looked positivly exhausted. "Perhaps you should get some rest there though.. You don't look so good."
"Perhaps your right." He answered, rubbing his eyes a little with his hands. "Not sure I can thougth."
"After awhile.. don't think you have a choice Mohammed.." Said Sawyer, walking down the hall. "It'll take ya.. trust me on that.."
Sayid stood there for a moment, considering it, and thought it would a good idea to get some rest, even if only for a few minutes. Not thinking he'd fall asleep at all. Finding a room with a couch he laid down on it, shutting his eyes against the horrors and mixed emotions that filled his mind.
And after a few minutes he atually did fall asleep, his body exhausted. And in the ddep sleep he dreamt. Not pleasantly either. Nightmare visions of death and destruction that always plauged him. And the whispereing voice that told him, all he had to do make this go away was give in. And let it take over.
But then you would feel nothing... he heard Nadia's voice tell him. It was almost like she was there with him. And then... everything dies with you... Including her...you need to help her..
"I do not know how.." He said in his sleep, turning slightly as if turning to her.
Yes you do... she whispered in his head. You are stronger than you know...
And with that Sayid's eyes shot open from his sleep, for a moment thinking she was in the rooom. But he knew she wasn't, not anymore. He sat up and closed his eyes, feeling himself start to really let go of Nadia now. Knowing he needed to if he was to save not just Shannon but himself as well. And suddenly it came to him like the other plan did, his mind finally clear enough to see it all.
Getting up, he went to find Sawyer who was up and rustling around the ktichen, taking a break from Clarie's hunger-strike.. Sayid just walked in and waited for him to turn around. Sawyer turned and nearly droppped the glass bottle he was holding.
"Jesus Sayid.." He said with an almost irritated look. "Tryin to give me a heart attack or something?"
"I need your help." He just said simpy with his arms crossed. "I have an idea..."