Moar Ginko/Jay because I love them to ridiculous, sad pieces. Sex, angst, all those good things. Not worksafe. Though, to be honest, there's more thinking than sex. >>
Even though they shared a bed now, it was still rare. Six out of seven days, Ginko would slide into bed, and Jason would follow him, feeling the other man’s arms wind around him, hold him gently as the warm length of his body pressed against his back. There would be the soft brush of lips against the back of his neck, and maybe a kiss at the corner of his mouth, the edge of his jaw, and then that was it, and then they’d go to sleep.
And Jason knew better to push, mostly because it simply wouldn’t work. He could be as enticing as he wanted, hands caressing over pale skin, following with kisses, but Ginko would hold firm, just holding Jason, pressing a kiss on his temple and slowly shaking his head.
So it was always exciting when Ginko leaned in for a kiss, shifting their bodies, turning Jason to his back, sliding fingers through his hair. Jason leans into it, holding, kissing back. because today would be a good day for this, because he hurts now, and the hairline cracks are deepening, spreading, and he’s sure that just a touch and it will all shatter, and all come tumbling down .
He makes a soft, moan, as he feels Ginko reaching down, jerking when long fingers finally curve around his cock, which twitches at the attention, hardening so fast against the other man’s palm that Jason feels dizzy.
“More.” He whispers against soft lips. “Want more than this, want you to fuck me.” His hand strokes down Ginko’s side, one rough palm cupping over the curve of his ass, squeezing, tugging him closer.
He feels the slight smile against his mouth and the nod, and he shudders. With a regretful little moan, he pushes Ginko away, and turns to his belly, hitching one leg up, cocking his hips up. Because he’s greedy for this, greedy for Ginko, greedy for sex. It’s nothing new, being a greedy little slut, but what’s new is feeling shame for it.
It’s not Ginko’s fault, not in the least, Ginko’s who’s talked to him, listened to him without judgement and that’s more important that all of this. But it makes Jason wonder what he’s offering Ginko back. Because talking is taking and this is taking, and that’s all Jason can do.
The thoughts stall just for a moment as he feels slick fingers press into him, pushing in deep, and he melts against the sheets, moaning, first grinding his leaking cock against the bedclothes, then pushing back against Ginko’s fingers.
“Another.” He rasps out, eyes sliding shut. “Hurry.”
Because he wants it hard and he wants it rough. He wants Ginko to slam him down, grab him by his hair, ram into and just use him. Wants those long hands over his throat, squeezing tight, clawing over his body, drawing blood, leaving bruises. But he knows that Ginko never will, that he’s always careful and gentle with him, making sure all he needs are taken care of.
He doesn’t deserve it. With how much he takes, he should be punished, it’s only fair.
Well. That’s a whole new way to be selfish. Hiding it in generosity.
Jason tells the voice to shut the hell up, and besides Ginko’s turning him over now, fingers sliding out, and Jason’s on his back, looking up at his lover, reaching out, stroking fingers along his cheek, along the flush that’s there, highlighting that lovely pale skin.
Ginko’s cock is hot and slick against him, and he wiggles eagerly down, moaning as he feels him starting to slide in, that delicious little ache as he stretches around the intrusion, letting the other man inside. He’s about to shove his hips down, to just impale himself over that length, but a strong hand locks over his hip, and he can only gasp in impatience as Ginko slides in, deep, deep perfect.
Ginko’s mouth is over his now, hot and wet, and Ginko loves to kiss at least, and Jason kisses back, hips rocking, trying to build a faster pace than the slow, agonizing slide inside him. He clutches at Ginko’s back as he feels the swollen crown of his lover’s cock right snug against his sweet spot, and his nails leave red crescents over pale skin.
“Again, again, harder, more.” He babbles softly against Ginko’s lips, and he cries out when it actually happens, a stronger thrust, another burst of pleasure. Ginko’s nuzzling at him, pressing more kisses against his throat, now, and Jason arches as he imagines teeth sinking deep into his skin, drawing blood.
He’s barely thinking now, as he fumbles for Ginko’s hand, kissing at the palm, nuzzling over it. He drags it up, and lays it over his own throat, and his green eyes shine up, hazed with lust, desperate.
“Here.” He whispers. “Here, it’s for you.”
Ginko’s entire body stiffens, all of it, except his cock, which Jason can feel softening in his body. No, no, I was just trying to give, this one time...
He just lays back, gasping still as Ginko pulls out, shaking his head. “No Jason.” He says softly, though he lays alongside Jason, not pulling away. Jason just lays there, trembling, still hard, panting softly.
“I deserve it.” He whispers.
“No you don’t.” Ginko’s long fingers are in his hair now, stroking, petting. Jason’s eyes slide close, and he shakes, still whispering.
“Was just trying to give you something.”
“I don’t want it like that.” Ginko leans over, and lays a soft kiss over Jason’s throat, right at the hollow.
“Why not?” Jason’s eyes slide close, and every word is bitterness. “I’m nothing but a broken solider. Something irreparable, what could you possibly use me for?”
“It’s not about use.” Jason feels Ginko sigh, feathering the words along the sweaty skin of his neck. “And...maybe you are broken, Jason. And maybe it’s not going to be okay, but maybe, it’s going to be better.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” Jason whispers, and turns, hesitantly pressing against Ginko, stroking hands over his body, just offering simple physical affection, nothing else, something that used to be so hard for him.
“Ginko. I’m sorry.”
“I know, Jason. I know.”