(no subject)
For the first time in... forever, yesterday, I felt pretty.
I looked at myself, and I aknowladged that I am fairly attractive, without feeling half as much guilt as I thought that I would (or should) for it.
Maybe it is being in love, secretly or not, that is doing this to me.
I do not know.
I used to loathe being a girl, in an odd kind of stubborn, juvenile, guilt-laden and "rebellious" way.
Now I adore it. I fully embrace it, and I am very thankful for it.
Not 'thankful' as in "I am so glad I'm not a man because they suck" way! haha.
But rather just privilaged to be of the fairer sex.. it's hard to explain.
I really fear this may be one of those coming-of-age, sexual awakening ephiphanies, oh God. :/
I'm just... comfortable.
I have spent the last five years in shawls and black dresses, cursing my body for every flaw I could find or dream up, violently projecting "don't touch me" - vibes, feeling damaged, and unforgivably so.
And now I am so much more forgiving, and so much more greatful.
Yes, I am most definately in love.
I looked at myself, and I aknowladged that I am fairly attractive, without feeling half as much guilt as I thought that I would (or should) for it.
Maybe it is being in love, secretly or not, that is doing this to me.
I do not know.
I used to loathe being a girl, in an odd kind of stubborn, juvenile, guilt-laden and "rebellious" way.
Now I adore it. I fully embrace it, and I am very thankful for it.
Not 'thankful' as in "I am so glad I'm not a man because they suck" way! haha.
But rather just privilaged to be of the fairer sex.. it's hard to explain.
I really fear this may be one of those coming-of-age, sexual awakening ephiphanies, oh God. :/
I'm just... comfortable.
I have spent the last five years in shawls and black dresses, cursing my body for every flaw I could find or dream up, violently projecting "don't touch me" - vibes, feeling damaged, and unforgivably so.
And now I am so much more forgiving, and so much more greatful.
Yes, I am most definately in love.