(no subject)
Instead of joining my friends at lunch right now, I'm writing a post in my lj because I just feel so burned out. My performance is slipping, I have little to no motivation to do anything... I've had some pretty bad headaches the last few days and now my throat is really sore and I'm slightly congested, so that's probably a sign that I'm getting sick, too. Just what I need right before the final projects and papers are due.
And I haven't paid attention to the resume drops, and now there aren't any interesting jobs left. Sooo. My summer is going to suck unless I find a job.
Frustration abounds. About schoolwork, about housing, about friends,... and of course, frustration about my inability to cope with difficult situations. It's not like I can complain about all the stuff that's really on my mind, because I don't want people to know exactly how messed up I feel, and I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. Plus, I don't really want the issues that I have with certain people--issues that I hide behind a cheerful demeanor--to somehow get to them, because the internet is an open forum. And I know I can always f-lock my posts, but some twisted part of me wonders, Hey, what would happen if I were to just rant openly about everything that's been bothering me and people who don't normally read this stumble upon this LJ and start questioning themselves, like, "Oh my gosh, is Freya talking about me? Am I really that insensitive?" Maybe that's why I'm not going to f-lock this post, either.
Yeah, it's hard to stay nice when there's so much anger bottled up inside that is just pressing at me, trying to get out.
Honestly, what do I really have to complain about when there are worse things happening out there to good people? Even still, it's not fair. Gosh, I'm such a whiner.
And I haven't paid attention to the resume drops, and now there aren't any interesting jobs left. Sooo. My summer is going to suck unless I find a job.
Frustration abounds. About schoolwork, about housing, about friends,... and of course, frustration about my inability to cope with difficult situations. It's not like I can complain about all the stuff that's really on my mind, because I don't want people to know exactly how messed up I feel, and I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. Plus, I don't really want the issues that I have with certain people--issues that I hide behind a cheerful demeanor--to somehow get to them, because the internet is an open forum. And I know I can always f-lock my posts, but some twisted part of me wonders, Hey, what would happen if I were to just rant openly about everything that's been bothering me and people who don't normally read this stumble upon this LJ and start questioning themselves, like, "Oh my gosh, is Freya talking about me? Am I really that insensitive?" Maybe that's why I'm not going to f-lock this post, either.
Yeah, it's hard to stay nice when there's so much anger bottled up inside that is just pressing at me, trying to get out.
Honestly, what do I really have to complain about when there are worse things happening out there to good people? Even still, it's not fair. Gosh, I'm such a whiner.