taNakamaru valentines
Title: taNakamaru valentines
Pairing: taNaka
Rating: pg-13
Genre: angst
Chapter: 1st, 2nd, 3rd of the 5 drabbles
Summary: taNakamaru drabbles for valentines day, the word and the phrase prompt...
Note: Written for the drabble challenge with aoi_tenshi05 , ikerasu_0305 , and haruna_io . We have four genres: fluff, crack, smut, and angst for five types of prompts: word, phrase, quote, picture, and song. I'm writing angst. Sorry if it's not that good. It's quite some time since I wrote something. Also thanks to kage_no_kodoku for the idea and the phrase prompt. (^.^)
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Word Prompt:
Pillow, Wall, Ocean, Squeeze
Pairing: taNaka
POV: koki
“Please don’t go. Stay beside me.”
You pleaded him, remembering how important he is in your life. No. You can’t let him go!
He is your pillow. He is soft, comforting. He is fluffy and cuddly. You would hug him out of nowhere and he wouldn’t mind. Sometimes, he would even hug you back, encasing you in his comfortable warmth. He is silent most of the time, waiting to be noticed instead of calling for attention. He is fine being alone but much better being cuddled. He wouldn’t tell you but you know he wanted to be embraced as much as you do.
He is also a wall. He is strong, hard, stubborn, and unbreakable. He stood beside you and supported you, even when the rest of them were against you. He became that pillar you always lean on to. But that strength and stubbornness that he offered are the same strength and stubbornness that had stood between the two of you. His shell is unbreakable and sometimes you felt as though you’re nothing more than a stranger trying to invade his life.
He is an ocean, passing through your fingers. He is deep and calm, kind and brooding. He is gentle and mysterious. He is what you see yet you can never see the whole of him. There’s that surface that he shows you but the rest of him remains hidden. You tried to hold on to him yet you couldn’t. The tighter you clasped unto him, the faster he flows from your palms. And you’re left empty handed again. You scooped more of him, you loose more of him, an endless cycle pathetically tiring.
An endless cycle, a cycle that you couldn’t halt for the fear of loosing him. You lost him anyway, in the most pathetic way you could think of. Or maybe it’s just you who came out pathetic.
You tried your best to stop him, to make him stay. You hugged him tighter, held him in your arms. You begged and pleaded, refusing to let go. He stopped struggling for a moment only to untangle himself gently and face you. He smiled that gentle smile that failed to reach his eyes. He reached for your hand and held it. You squeezed his feminine hand, relief flooding you. But as he squeezed back, you realize you lost.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “But I can’t.”
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Quote Prompt:
You said you were fine. You said you were ok. You smiled. Or at least your mouth did. I knew you were lying.
Pairing: taNaka
POV: koki
He hugged the pillow tighter, inhaling the faint scent his lover left behind. Tears continued to flow. He remembered that night the two of them was together - their last night together. He wanted to ask but he held his tongue back, mistaking his smile for strength. Now regret filled him.
Sadness was evident in his eyes, the brooding aura he emitted, the forlorn stares ahead. He was spacing out a lot, withdrawing himself from the world. He was his lover yet even he couldn’t make him come out of his shell.
“You didn’t try hard enough,” a voice inside of him reprimanded and tears cascaded faster.
If he had asked him more persistently, if he had just shown he cared and wanted to help, if he had shown he would stay beside him, maybe things would have turned out differently.
Nakamaru Yuichi left KAT-TUN for a supposed vacation. But he didn’t return. No. And Koki was left behind to piece the broken puzzle his lover left.
Vacation.
Diagnosis.
Cancer.
Hotel room.
Suicide.
Death.
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Song Prompt:
"Who Knew" by Pink
Pairing: taNaka, small koKame
POV: Yuichi
Through your hazy mind, you remembered him, his smile, his voice, his gentle words and assurance.
You smiled, swallowing the lump on your throat, counting every broken promise he gave. You He said he’d stay with you, yet where is he? He said he’d protect you, but isn’t it he who brought you pain. He promised not to leave you, but there he was, with him. He said he’d love you... forever, yet forever stopped a week ago.
You chuckled bitterly, weakly. You lifted the syringe and looked at the small amount still left within it. You’re not familiar with drugs but this is the only escape you could think of.
Your eyes are blurred, mind hazy. You know it was wrong, that unpleasant sensation at the bottom of your stomach tells you, but your mind is too clouded to confirm or care. You brought it to your arm, pressed in your veins and felt it travel on your body, hot and burning, a deliciously painful sensation to the path it travels.
Calmness seeped in through your whole being. You’re mind went more clouded, your vision more blurred. Your heart wasn’t aching anymore. Hell, you even felt it slowly stopping. Your breath was also becoming shallower and overwhelming lethargy started overcoming you.
You heard the door open, the urgent steps inside. You heard somebody calling your name, a familiar yet almost unrecognizable voice. You heard it all faintly but you couldn’t really process anything. All you know is the darkness you’re in.
Then that soft touch, and that strong chest. That whiff of cologne and the urgent calling of your name. It's him! You know it's him.
Koki! He had come back for you, finally! Your heart swelled with happiness and you smiled. Yet sleepiness is getting stronger and you felt so calm you really want to sleep.
And so you did, glad to know he's back. You smiled faintly, using whatever muscle would follow your command.
Then you breathed your last as your heart stopped.
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Pairing: taNaka
Rating: pg-13
Genre: angst
Chapter: 1st, 2nd, 3rd of the 5 drabbles
Summary: taNakamaru drabbles for valentines day, the word and the phrase prompt...
Note: Written for the drabble challenge with aoi_tenshi05 , ikerasu_0305 , and haruna_io . We have four genres: fluff, crack, smut, and angst for five types of prompts: word, phrase, quote, picture, and song. I'm writing angst. Sorry if it's not that good. It's quite some time since I wrote something. Also thanks to kage_no_kodoku for the idea and the phrase prompt. (^.^)
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Word Prompt:
Pillow, Wall, Ocean, Squeeze
Pairing: taNaka
POV: koki
“Please don’t go. Stay beside me.”
You pleaded him, remembering how important he is in your life. No. You can’t let him go!
He is your pillow. He is soft, comforting. He is fluffy and cuddly. You would hug him out of nowhere and he wouldn’t mind. Sometimes, he would even hug you back, encasing you in his comfortable warmth. He is silent most of the time, waiting to be noticed instead of calling for attention. He is fine being alone but much better being cuddled. He wouldn’t tell you but you know he wanted to be embraced as much as you do.
He is also a wall. He is strong, hard, stubborn, and unbreakable. He stood beside you and supported you, even when the rest of them were against you. He became that pillar you always lean on to. But that strength and stubbornness that he offered are the same strength and stubbornness that had stood between the two of you. His shell is unbreakable and sometimes you felt as though you’re nothing more than a stranger trying to invade his life.
He is an ocean, passing through your fingers. He is deep and calm, kind and brooding. He is gentle and mysterious. He is what you see yet you can never see the whole of him. There’s that surface that he shows you but the rest of him remains hidden. You tried to hold on to him yet you couldn’t. The tighter you clasped unto him, the faster he flows from your palms. And you’re left empty handed again. You scooped more of him, you loose more of him, an endless cycle pathetically tiring.
An endless cycle, a cycle that you couldn’t halt for the fear of loosing him. You lost him anyway, in the most pathetic way you could think of. Or maybe it’s just you who came out pathetic.
You tried your best to stop him, to make him stay. You hugged him tighter, held him in your arms. You begged and pleaded, refusing to let go. He stopped struggling for a moment only to untangle himself gently and face you. He smiled that gentle smile that failed to reach his eyes. He reached for your hand and held it. You squeezed his feminine hand, relief flooding you. But as he squeezed back, you realize you lost.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “But I can’t.”
=======
Quote Prompt:
You said you were fine. You said you were ok. You smiled. Or at least your mouth did. I knew you were lying.
Pairing: taNaka
POV: koki
He hugged the pillow tighter, inhaling the faint scent his lover left behind. Tears continued to flow. He remembered that night the two of them was together - their last night together. He wanted to ask but he held his tongue back, mistaking his smile for strength. Now regret filled him.
Sadness was evident in his eyes, the brooding aura he emitted, the forlorn stares ahead. He was spacing out a lot, withdrawing himself from the world. He was his lover yet even he couldn’t make him come out of his shell.
“You didn’t try hard enough,” a voice inside of him reprimanded and tears cascaded faster.
If he had asked him more persistently, if he had just shown he cared and wanted to help, if he had shown he would stay beside him, maybe things would have turned out differently.
Nakamaru Yuichi left KAT-TUN for a supposed vacation. But he didn’t return. No. And Koki was left behind to piece the broken puzzle his lover left.
Vacation.
Diagnosis.
Cancer.
Hotel room.
Suicide.
Death.
=======
Song Prompt:
"Who Knew" by Pink
Pairing: taNaka, small koKame
POV: Yuichi
Through your hazy mind, you remembered him, his smile, his voice, his gentle words and assurance.
You smiled, swallowing the lump on your throat, counting every broken promise he gave. You He said he’d stay with you, yet where is he? He said he’d protect you, but isn’t it he who brought you pain. He promised not to leave you, but there he was, with him. He said he’d love you... forever, yet forever stopped a week ago.
You chuckled bitterly, weakly. You lifted the syringe and looked at the small amount still left within it. You’re not familiar with drugs but this is the only escape you could think of.
Your eyes are blurred, mind hazy. You know it was wrong, that unpleasant sensation at the bottom of your stomach tells you, but your mind is too clouded to confirm or care. You brought it to your arm, pressed in your veins and felt it travel on your body, hot and burning, a deliciously painful sensation to the path it travels.
Calmness seeped in through your whole being. You’re mind went more clouded, your vision more blurred. Your heart wasn’t aching anymore. Hell, you even felt it slowly stopping. Your breath was also becoming shallower and overwhelming lethargy started overcoming you.
You heard the door open, the urgent steps inside. You heard somebody calling your name, a familiar yet almost unrecognizable voice. You heard it all faintly but you couldn’t really process anything. All you know is the darkness you’re in.
Then that soft touch, and that strong chest. That whiff of cologne and the urgent calling of your name. It's him! You know it's him.
Koki! He had come back for you, finally! Your heart swelled with happiness and you smiled. Yet sleepiness is getting stronger and you felt so calm you really want to sleep.
And so you did, glad to know he's back. You smiled faintly, using whatever muscle would follow your command.
Then you breathed your last as your heart stopped.
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