VeeRush [ 10 / 12 ]
Title: VeeRush
Pairing: TaNakamaru (plus little JunDa and aKame maybe)
Rating: Pg-13
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Chapter: [ 10 / 12 ]
Summary: Yuichi is a 24year-old virgin willing to get laid before he reaches 26 next month - I mean DESPERATE to get laid. Koki is a pimp who has no sexual preference, bedding both girls and guys. A perfect match made in hell. If only they don’t hate each other’s guts that much.
Note: Just a special 1 month, 4 days fic… oh, you know it!
Disclaimer: None of them is mine. And when I said none, I mean I have one - locked inside my dreams... *wink*
Username: Namaru
Password: *****
September 1, 2009
I’m totally messing up my life!
I disregarded all my responsibility in the office as the team leader, practically forgetting about the monthly profile report! Good thing Junno defended me by making some lame excuse. I owe him one when he shifting the blame to himself.
I know I have to prioritize it instead of updating you right now but I can’t help it. I have to get this thing out of my system, least it drives me crazy!
Ever since my last talk with him, I’ve been doing nothing but drive people away from me. I’ve locked myself up, totally ignoring both my best friends’ attempts to lighten up my mood. All I gave them at the office earlier this day were cold shoulders and sharp glares. I even told Junno, who had just extended his help, to fuck off and leave me alone with my tasks. Stupid of me, neh?
Even Jin wasn’t spared when he made the mistake of asking about Koki and me. I entirely dumped my whole cup of iced tea on him - right in front of everybody in the café. He had to leave early because of that, while everybody, including Junno, gaped at the first act of irritation I displayed. I don’t care, though. At least not at that time.
But the worse so far is Tatsuya. I know how he is only concerned of my current state, lack of sleep and a lot of spacing-out moments, but shouting at him for “interrogating me too much” is just plain stupid of me! I know. I was actually surprised when I saw his shocked expression before it was covered again by his usual indifference. I have to apologize to him. But how can I if he wouldn’t look at me since our fight yesterday?! It’s my whole fault.
But what can I do? I’m so exhausted, On-Jou. I couldn’t even concentrate on something without shifting my thoughts back to him! I know it sounds do cliché but…
I lost Koki, and it only started to sink in to me after everything is over. Do you know how much I wanted to go back to him and apologize over and over again? But just thinking about Yuki and the baby she is carrying maintained my determination. It was just her and the baby that was holding me back.
And then I learned the stupid truth. And everything just went crashing down.
But nobody had talked. And if it wasn’t for Kame himself, who was just “as tired as Jin is about your and Koki’s full-time sulking,” I wouldn’t have known anything that has been happening behind what I see! The child wasn’t Koki’s.
No, On-Jou. I don’t hate Yuki. She didn’t mean it to happen this way. In fact, she herself doesn’t know of this. Up until now. And I don’t think she has to. Kame said her parents really did threaten her about disowning her if she couldn’t get a proper marriage. But her declining health due to carrying the child made them regret their decision. They decided to bring her to US where she ought to be given full attention.
She left me a note apologizing about the mess she created. She told me she somehow felt there was something she broke when she begged me to help her. I don’t know if she knew it was my heart. I don’t think so. But I really don’t hate her. I actually felt for her, and I’m hoping she’ll be fine.
As for Koki, to say that I was taken aback to discover about his inability to produce a child would be an understatement. I was more than shocked, On-Jou. I never thought of it that way. Now it was made clear to me why he was so firm about not giving the child his name. Now I know why he was never afraid of being caught one day amidst the huge responsibility of making a girl pregnant!
I don’t know if I should be happy about that, though. I don’t think he is. Not ever having a child of your own? isn’t that somehow frustrating, too? But Kame said otherwise.
“Koki is not interested in having a child,” so he said. “He’ll be happier to have you back.” But that is Kame’s point of view.
I think Koki still hates me. I mean, I don’t think he has forgiven me yet. I haven’t seen him since that Saturday night. No calls from him. Not even a message. Nothing.
What do you think he’s doing now, On-Jou? Still at that crude bar of his? Back in his original lifestyle, surrounded by girls, just like before I came into his life?
Kame told me I could go visit him whenever I want to. I wonder what I’ll find there. I want to see him. I want to see if, assure myself that, he is affected our fight. That he is miserable to have lost me. That he still wants me back. Just like I want him back.
But I’m also afraid, On-Jou. What if he has moved on? What if I’ll discover that he never did consider me important? That I’m just another fling, no need to cry over for a long time?! Or what if he still hates me? I can’t bear the thought of him staring at me the way he did before.
There’s nowhere I can go to. I want him back. I badly want him back. Yet I don’t want to realize how much I’ve lost him. I just can’t afford that. I have to decide. And I have to fast.
As for now, I have to apologize to Tat-chan. I can’t let him stay angry at me for a long time. Besides, he’s wiser than me. I know he’s the right person to go to.
Thank you, On-Jou. I’m starting to retain some of my common sense.
I need to stop writing here, though. I still have that report to do.
---- Namaru
(By the way, Kame asked me not to bully Jin next time he says something wrong. Apparently, that’s the reason he broke his own silence. He seemed really nice. I like him for Jin.)