With thanks to Schwern and Kenny for helping me understand these. Also, if you aren't familiar with Geek Social Fallacies, you might want to read them
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Putting an emotional statement in universal truth terms is just a way of communicating an emotional statement that doesn't work with all people / in all social cultures. In the relationships where it does work, occasional shared hyperbole is a great way of connecting with each other and validating each other's emotional experiences.
Using it where it doesn't work is a problem, yes, which can lead to other problems. One of the possible problems is that if a listener responds to it as a factual statement, the speaker is encouraged to think of it as a factual statement instead of the emotional statement that it is. In a weird way, denying it actually strengthens it.
Relationships where there's no way (through this means, or others) to have this sort of emotional interaction also have a problem, which can lead to other problems. I have never seen the conversation below be started by anything other than a statement containing hyperbole. Are there other openers that start it? Are there completely different patterns of interaction that nevertheless get the same emotional effect? I hate having the sort of interaction stereotype441 describes and would rather only use hyperbolic statements with those for whom they lead into bonding, productive conversations, but I haven't found a replacement to use with other people.
A: [strong emotional blast about a specific thing that ties into a larger emotional pattern in A's life] B: Oh, I hate it when that happens. [lesser emotional blast along similar lines, containing example in own life] [some interaction about the emotion and various prompts for it] [move on to other things]
Putting an emotional statement in universal truth terms is just a way of communicating an emotional statement that doesn't work with all people / in all social cultures. In the relationships where it does work, occasional shared hyperbole is a great way of connecting with each other and validating each other's emotional experiences.
Using it where it doesn't work is a problem, yes, which can lead to other problems. One of the possible problems is that if a listener responds to it as a factual statement, the speaker is encouraged to think of it as a factual statement instead of the emotional statement that it is. In a weird way, denying it actually strengthens it.
Relationships where there's no way (through this means, or others) to have this sort of emotional interaction also have a problem, which can lead to other problems. I have never seen the conversation below be started by anything other than a statement containing hyperbole. Are there other openers that start it? Are there completely different patterns of interaction that nevertheless get the same emotional effect? I hate having the sort of interaction stereotype441 describes and would rather only use hyperbolic statements with those for whom they lead into bonding, productive conversations, but I haven't found a replacement to use with other people.
A: [strong emotional blast about a specific thing that ties into a larger emotional pattern in A's life]
B: Oh, I hate it when that happens. [lesser emotional blast along similar lines, containing example in own life]
[some interaction about the emotion and various prompts for it]
[move on to other things]
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