One Step at a time: 20th Chapter
Pairings: tetsu x hyde
Rating: n-17
Disclaimer: You're kidding, right? Don't own. As in, at all.
Summary: A (hopefully) enormously long story of L'Arc~en~Ciel as seen from the perspective of a Tetsuhai fan
Chapter 20
Deviations
It amazed Hyde sometimes that even after playing so many lives together, each and every one of them still felt unique to them. There were no two shows that ever felt the same, each presenting a new challenge from the very beginning of preparations to the end of the after party.
He felt like he could never get bored of that.
This was, actually, L’Arc~en~Ciel’s thirty sixth live. He sometimes felt silly for still counting, but at the same time he was sure that Tetsu was doing the same. But even with the number this high, the live was already shaping up to be a completely new experience and very different from anything they’ve done before.
The most obvious change was that only three of them were there to move their stuff over to the live house. Tetsu had proposed that they would take care of anything so that Ken could just come there a little before the live itself, bringing Sakura with him. It meant more work for the three remaining members, but Hyde did not mind. Having come earlier than they normally would, he spent a lot of the time fooling around with Pero (both because it was the last chance and in spite of that) and feeling smug that he was the one who Ken asked to do the guitar sound-check for him. Of course, the guitarist would probably still re-check everything himself as soon as he arrived, but Hyde chose to ignore that.
As a reminder of something typical for every live, however, Tetsu went through the whole process with a worried frown on his face, personally making sure every single detail was right. To the vocalist it even seemed like the frown was more pronounced than normal. Most likely it was because the leader felt the pressure to do everything as perfectly as ever, despite the deviations from their usual pattern.
Though craving to do something about that to calm his lover, Hyde had no opportunities or privacy for that as the day slowly went by. With the live-house staff milling around them every second, it was only in the backroom that the members could have some peace, but even that time was spent for live preparations.
Nevertheless, when Pero finished far before them (he always did) and went out for a smoke, Hyde decided to take the opportunity to finally do something about his lover’s mood. Hurriedly finishing applying the mascara, he followed his lover’s movements in the mirror, waiting for the bassist to finish dressing. When Tetsu finally did and sat down to apply his own makeup, Hyde moved swiftly and promptly planted himself in the leader’s lap before the younger man even realized what was happening.
“You are far too tense. Want me to do something about that?” he asked in the most suggestive voice he was capable of and wasting no time before leaning down to nuzzle the bassist’s neck, planting butterfly kisses on the skin beneath his lips. As much as a joke their pre-live tradition might have been, Hyde knew it did its job, always helping Tetsu relax a little and Hyde planned to make full use of that right now even if the leader did not look too sure about his timing.
“Ah, Hyde, don’t, Sakura will be here any second, we can’t…” the bassist protested halfheartedly, but failed miserably as Hyde’s ministrations soon had him moaning in surrender.
“Which is why we should do this now rather than later,” Hyde whispered seductively, not missing a beat. His breath ghosted over the skin that his lips were kissing only a moment ago and made Tetsu shiver.
“We’ve been neglecting our fans expectations lately, don’t you think?” the singer asked and sat up a little straighter, one of his hands moving to lower the collar of his already open gown even more as he bared his neck with an obvious invitation. Tetsu had no hope of declining. Hyde’s other hand tangled itself in Tetsu’s still-not-styled hair in a less than subtle urging to get his lover’s lips closer to his neck and he was soon sighing in pleasure when his lover finally granted him his wish.
A brush of air, then the warmth of lips, the wetness of the tongue and a hint of teeth, all in a slow and delightful succession had him gasping for breath even before Tetsu got serious.The bassist traced a path from one side of the vocalist’s neck to the other, lingering a little to pay special attention to his Adam’s apple before choosing one patch of skin to firmly attach his lips to and kiss, suck and nibble just enough to leave a faint mark, knowing by now not to overdo it, keeping it as light as he could. But it was more than enough for Hyde’s eyes to go out of focus and a needy sound to escape his lips as the older man only now realized how much he, too, not only his lover, had needed this.
Tetsu was not quite finished yet as he planted a few more licks and kisses to sooth the abused skin of his dazed lover, his lips delicately brushing down his jugular, feeling the blood pulsing extraordinarily fast beneath the skin - a testament of just how far the beauty in his arms had gone just from these few kisses. He was in no better state but, knowing he had to, reluctantly pulled back, giving both of them a couple of minutes to compose themselves before, very unwillingly, letting go altogether.
“We should finish getting ready,” he said and, though obviously loath to do it, Hyde forced himself to nod. Planting one last, quick kiss on the bassist’s lips and breaching the safe haven of his mouth with his tongue for the barest of instances, he stood up and moved away. He was not a second too soon to do it, either, because that very moment the door to the room opened and in came Ken with Sakura in tow.
“I’m going there now,” Ken blurted out without as much as a pause when he entered or bothering with a greeting or explanation. He was gone in a flash, Hyde realized, to check up on his equipment, knowing that his time to get ready was cut very short.
The three of them were left in a sort of stunned silence for a few minutes, before Hyde realized that he should probably greet Sakura. He was not quick enough though, because Sakura seemed to come out of it as well then, and his eyes finally moved away from the doorway that Ken just disappeared through towards Hyde, who was still standing in the middle of the room.
“Whoa!” The drummer let out, surprised, and his eyes widened a slight bit. Hyde, by now used to similar reactions, had an idea what prompted it out from the drummer.
After all, yesterday he was tired and wore baggy clothes and his hair in an unflattering ponytail. But right now he stood in his full live attire, complete with almost finished make-up and his black, straight hair falling down his shoulders. There was bound to be a contrast to the new acquaintance’s eyes. The surprise lasted only a second however and soon Sakura was grinning and letting out an appreciative whistle, his eyes traveling down the vocalist’s body in what Hyde figured to be a mostly teasing look-over.
“The people I spoke with about you guys always mentioned that Laruku’s vocalist was rather stunning, and you were real pretty yesterday, but I wasn’t quite expecting this,” the drummer explained, not holding back his words the slightest bit. At the end of the sentence, however, his eyes stopped wandering, focusing somewhere just beneath Hyde’s face and the vocalist knew they found the mark that Tetsu left just a few minutes ago. “Also heard about those,” the younger man continued without missing a beat, stepping a little closer. “The people I spoke with were arguing whether those were real or did you just fake them with make-up or something to rile your fans up,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
Hyde pushed a blush down as he hastily considered his options. Fortunately, it did not seem like either he or Tetsu looked like they had just been making out a few minutes ago. Sakura obviously did not really suspect anything between him and Tetsu at the very least, so he could easily get away with leaving the secret of their relationship intact.
“If I told you, wouldn’t it ruin the mystery?” Hyde purred sensuously as he casually shifted his gown to partially cover the mark and flashed a smile to the drummer, playing his stage persona perfectly. “Now you can wonder about it all through the show,” he finished before mischievously turning away. He risked a wicked wink towards Tetsu then and the bassist, who had been trying to stare disapprovingly at his teasing actions until then, was forced to turn away slightly himself to hide an amused smile.
Ensured then that everything was fine, Hyde sat back down in front of the mirror to finish with his make-up and hair, leaving the drummer to think what he wished. But the atmosphere suddenly took a major shift again as Ken burst back into the room.
“You actually did a good job there, Hyde,” the guitarist said unceremoniously as he immediately went to prepare for the live himself. Just like Pero, he had far less to do than Hyde and Tetsu did, mostly because of the differences in their images (and hair lengths), but with how little time they had left he still had to hurry.
“There’s no need to sound so surprised about that,” Hyde answered, pretending to take offense but not shifting his eyes from the mirror where he witnessed Sakura moving towards one of the walls to lean down on it casually.
The other door to the room opened again then and Pero stepped into the room. Only now did Hyde realize how long his friend had been gone and was about to ask him about that, but from the way Pero’s eyes immediately went towards him and Tetsu, as if checking up on their moods, Hyde figured out the drummer must have realized their need for privacy before and went away just to give them that. He felt a pang of something very close to pain then, as he realized that this man that knew them so well was really leaving them after today.
Having confirmed that they both seemed more relaxed now, Pero let himself take a look at Sakura then. After a moment of not so subtle sizing up, he relaxed, looking satisfied with what he saw and politely nodded his head towards his colleague and possible replacement in the band he had grown to love.
“I’m Pero, the bastard that’s leaving them,” he introduced himself jokingly, closing the door behind him and taking a step further into the room.
“Sakura,” the other drummer said simply with a smile in acknowledgment of the self-depreciating introduction and then nodded sideways to the other three band members, “Any warning about why I shouldn’t agree to join them?” he asked, only half kidding, ignoring the fact that it was rather weird of him to ask the question with the three of them present. Not the least bit perturbed by that, Pero shook his head.
“Unless you count their being almost intimidatingly good, then no, there isn’t anything. Believe me, if you join them, you won’t be regretting it.”
“But there must be a reason why you’re leaving?”
“Other than me being a jerk, no, not really,” Pero answered, but when Sakura just raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him, he continued. “It’s really all about my personal reasons. They had nothing to do with my decision to leave.”
Ken could not stop himself from snorting then, something that Hyde knew was aimed specifically at him and Tetsu, but stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. Tetsu did not either, so in the end it was only the two drummers that looked at the guitarist questioningly. But Ken just waved them off.
“I think it’s about time we get going,” he said instead.
Fortunately, all of them were finished with preparations by then and simultaneously stood up and gathered in the middle of the room, Sakura just watching quietly from the side as the four of them started their pre-live tradition, their hands joining in the middle of their circle.
“Another goodbye show, huh,” Tetsu started, staring down at their joined hands, a frown back on his face as he seemed to fail coming up with anything fitting to say. Almost without a thought, his eyes rose to look at Pero. “Do you have anything you want to say, Pero?” The drummer looked startled at the unprecedented question from the leader, but it only lasted for a second.
“Just sorry,” he said, atypically quiet, looking down at their hands just as Tetsu had before, “and thank you.”
“Yeah. Thank you is right,” Tetsu muttered almost to himself, before taking a deep breath and ending more enthusiastically.
“Let’s show those people how good we are tonight!”
Sakura slipped away to join the audience just before they went out onto the stage themselves, reminding them that it was not only fans they still needed to impress tonight.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
After the unusual preparations for it, it was only to be expected that the live would be a little bit different as well. Fortunately, the change was all towards the better, because even though they always made sure to do their best at every show, whenever a live was as special as this one, it seemed that they all found it within themselves to do even better, try even harder. Pero’s last live with them was no exception to that rule.
The drummer ended the live with a heartfelt thank you and goodbye, as well as deep bow towards his fans, obviously as moved by what just occurred as every other person in the room. Despite that and the audience’s shouts for him not to leave, there was no hesitation in his step when he eventually left the stage. For him, his part in L’Arc~en~Ciel’s history was over.
Or nearly over. There was still the obligatory after party. They quickly relocated to their traditional bar with the unusual, but not unwelcome, addition of Sakura to their quartet for a more private goodbye.
“To the last thirty six lives we had together,” Tetsu toasted rather solemnly with his bottle of beer, unintentionally making Hyde smile as he confirmed the vocalist’s earlier thoughts.
“And to the thousands of lives you’ll hopefully have together in the future,” Pero added, with a more optimistic note, raising his own beer in response, soon followed by the others.
It was almost strange, given the circumstances, how easily they managed to relax and just have fun. Maybe it was the occasion, or maybe it was just how well the five of them fit together, but before long, everyone was relaxed and it felt like the five of them had all known each other for a very long time.
Well, almost. Hyde knew it was his own stubbornness this time that made him push his normal awkwardness at social interactions with new acquaintances aside, but Sakura did make it incredibly easy. As did, admittedly, the alcohol. Because before he realized it, Hyde found that he had consumed beer far more unreservedly than he was used to. Knowing that the night had only begun, he excused himself from the company, feeling a need to splash his heated face with some cold water.
As he was standing in front of the mirror in the washroom, staring at his now makeup-less face, he let the thoughts that had been buzzing in his head the whole day loose.
Maybe it was not only the alcohol that made him feel weird. For some reason this day almost felt like an end of a whole era in their lives. In two days, a new year will roll about and they would soon be moving, if only temporarily, to Tokyo. Recording a full album, in a real studio, with the guidance of true professionals. What they were doing suddenly felt much more real than ever before. Despite all the setbacks, L’Arc~en~Ciel was steadily moving forward, getting them closer to their dreams. And whether it was Sakura that would fill the now empty position (something that seemed more and more likely the more they got to know the man) or somebody else, Hyde knew that this amazing band would always be something that he belonged to.
Hyde sighed, shaking off the mushy thoughts. Maybe he could not write off the way he felt to alcohol, but he could certainly write off his sappiness about it to it.
He was about to leave the washroom when the door was opened from the other side and he barely managed to stop in time to avoid collision. Strong arms shot out to steady him, and he stood frozen as he unexpectedly found himself directly in front of Sakura, staring, the drummer looking back at him with a strange look in his eyes.
“That,” the slightly tipsy drummer said rather smugly, nodding pointedly down at Hyde’s neck which was now very close and completely exposed for him, “Is not a fake,” and promptly went around him, leaving the stunned vocalist free to leave and rejoin his friends at their table.
Just great, now he was feeling flushed again.
“I think he’s coming on to me,” he hissed to Tetsu without preamble as soon as he sat down, but, unfortunately for him, his whisper was loud enough that the other two heard him even through the loud music that was playing in the bar, making them laugh out loud.
“You can’t really be that surprised,” Ken commented, completely unconcerned. Hyde looked over to Tetsu for some support, but the bassist seemed as amused as the other two.
“He’s a man!” Hyde blurted out the obvious. It was all good and well when male fans whistled at him from the audience while he was on the stage, but this was different. The only answer he received to that, however, were pointed looks. “We’ve spent the better part of the evening together, discussing the boobs of the girls in the bar! It wasn’t supposed to happen,” he defended himself, but only got an indulging pat on the back from Tetsu.
“Not to make you more uncomfortable,” Pero spoke up, “but with you it sometimes seems like gender doesn’t really matter. Even for straight guys.” Ken barely noticeably nodded in agreement.
“Not to disappoint you, but your effort to not make me more uncomfortable completely failed just now,” Hyde snapped back, curling a little bit onto himself. He did not want this right now. All he was doing was trying to make Sakura feel welcome. But not that welcome.
“Just take it as a compliment. Didn’t you say you like him yesterday?” Tetsu finally joined the conversation.
“Well yeah, he’s fun to hang out with but… Wait, you’re not upset about this?” He asked suddenly, surprised. His lover just shrugged.
“Why would I be? I actually find it flattering as well,” the bassist answered, completely undisturbed. “If he joins Laruku, at some point we’ll tell him about us and you’ll tell him you only want to be friends, right? Most likely he’ll just be relieved that he doesn’t have to figure out why he’s having feelings for a man. And if he doesn’t join … then there’s even less to worry about. For now just enjoy the attention. And look, he’s coming back.”
Sakura was indeed coming back, a slight stumble in his step betraying to Hyde that the drummer was even more drunk than he had thought before. Still a little disturbed by it, he ordered another beer for himself. Whether this was a day that marked a big change in their lives or not, he was getting drunk. Tetsu could take care of getting them home intact after that.
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This one was pretty fun to write ^^ Hope you enjoyed
EDIT: for anyone who tried to read this the day I updated: I"m Sorry! Either LJ or Firefox or both were screwing with me majorly.
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Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20
Rating: n-17
Disclaimer: You're kidding, right? Don't own. As in, at all.
Summary: A (hopefully) enormously long story of L'Arc~en~Ciel as seen from the perspective of a Tetsuhai fan
Chapter 20
Deviations
It amazed Hyde sometimes that even after playing so many lives together, each and every one of them still felt unique to them. There were no two shows that ever felt the same, each presenting a new challenge from the very beginning of preparations to the end of the after party.
He felt like he could never get bored of that.
This was, actually, L’Arc~en~Ciel’s thirty sixth live. He sometimes felt silly for still counting, but at the same time he was sure that Tetsu was doing the same. But even with the number this high, the live was already shaping up to be a completely new experience and very different from anything they’ve done before.
The most obvious change was that only three of them were there to move their stuff over to the live house. Tetsu had proposed that they would take care of anything so that Ken could just come there a little before the live itself, bringing Sakura with him. It meant more work for the three remaining members, but Hyde did not mind. Having come earlier than they normally would, he spent a lot of the time fooling around with Pero (both because it was the last chance and in spite of that) and feeling smug that he was the one who Ken asked to do the guitar sound-check for him. Of course, the guitarist would probably still re-check everything himself as soon as he arrived, but Hyde chose to ignore that.
As a reminder of something typical for every live, however, Tetsu went through the whole process with a worried frown on his face, personally making sure every single detail was right. To the vocalist it even seemed like the frown was more pronounced than normal. Most likely it was because the leader felt the pressure to do everything as perfectly as ever, despite the deviations from their usual pattern.
Though craving to do something about that to calm his lover, Hyde had no opportunities or privacy for that as the day slowly went by. With the live-house staff milling around them every second, it was only in the backroom that the members could have some peace, but even that time was spent for live preparations.
Nevertheless, when Pero finished far before them (he always did) and went out for a smoke, Hyde decided to take the opportunity to finally do something about his lover’s mood. Hurriedly finishing applying the mascara, he followed his lover’s movements in the mirror, waiting for the bassist to finish dressing. When Tetsu finally did and sat down to apply his own makeup, Hyde moved swiftly and promptly planted himself in the leader’s lap before the younger man even realized what was happening.
“You are far too tense. Want me to do something about that?” he asked in the most suggestive voice he was capable of and wasting no time before leaning down to nuzzle the bassist’s neck, planting butterfly kisses on the skin beneath his lips. As much as a joke their pre-live tradition might have been, Hyde knew it did its job, always helping Tetsu relax a little and Hyde planned to make full use of that right now even if the leader did not look too sure about his timing.
“Ah, Hyde, don’t, Sakura will be here any second, we can’t…” the bassist protested halfheartedly, but failed miserably as Hyde’s ministrations soon had him moaning in surrender.
“Which is why we should do this now rather than later,” Hyde whispered seductively, not missing a beat. His breath ghosted over the skin that his lips were kissing only a moment ago and made Tetsu shiver.
“We’ve been neglecting our fans expectations lately, don’t you think?” the singer asked and sat up a little straighter, one of his hands moving to lower the collar of his already open gown even more as he bared his neck with an obvious invitation. Tetsu had no hope of declining. Hyde’s other hand tangled itself in Tetsu’s still-not-styled hair in a less than subtle urging to get his lover’s lips closer to his neck and he was soon sighing in pleasure when his lover finally granted him his wish.
A brush of air, then the warmth of lips, the wetness of the tongue and a hint of teeth, all in a slow and delightful succession had him gasping for breath even before Tetsu got serious.The bassist traced a path from one side of the vocalist’s neck to the other, lingering a little to pay special attention to his Adam’s apple before choosing one patch of skin to firmly attach his lips to and kiss, suck and nibble just enough to leave a faint mark, knowing by now not to overdo it, keeping it as light as he could. But it was more than enough for Hyde’s eyes to go out of focus and a needy sound to escape his lips as the older man only now realized how much he, too, not only his lover, had needed this.
Tetsu was not quite finished yet as he planted a few more licks and kisses to sooth the abused skin of his dazed lover, his lips delicately brushing down his jugular, feeling the blood pulsing extraordinarily fast beneath the skin - a testament of just how far the beauty in his arms had gone just from these few kisses. He was in no better state but, knowing he had to, reluctantly pulled back, giving both of them a couple of minutes to compose themselves before, very unwillingly, letting go altogether.
“We should finish getting ready,” he said and, though obviously loath to do it, Hyde forced himself to nod. Planting one last, quick kiss on the bassist’s lips and breaching the safe haven of his mouth with his tongue for the barest of instances, he stood up and moved away. He was not a second too soon to do it, either, because that very moment the door to the room opened and in came Ken with Sakura in tow.
“I’m going there now,” Ken blurted out without as much as a pause when he entered or bothering with a greeting or explanation. He was gone in a flash, Hyde realized, to check up on his equipment, knowing that his time to get ready was cut very short.
The three of them were left in a sort of stunned silence for a few minutes, before Hyde realized that he should probably greet Sakura. He was not quick enough though, because Sakura seemed to come out of it as well then, and his eyes finally moved away from the doorway that Ken just disappeared through towards Hyde, who was still standing in the middle of the room.
“Whoa!” The drummer let out, surprised, and his eyes widened a slight bit. Hyde, by now used to similar reactions, had an idea what prompted it out from the drummer.
After all, yesterday he was tired and wore baggy clothes and his hair in an unflattering ponytail. But right now he stood in his full live attire, complete with almost finished make-up and his black, straight hair falling down his shoulders. There was bound to be a contrast to the new acquaintance’s eyes. The surprise lasted only a second however and soon Sakura was grinning and letting out an appreciative whistle, his eyes traveling down the vocalist’s body in what Hyde figured to be a mostly teasing look-over.
“The people I spoke with about you guys always mentioned that Laruku’s vocalist was rather stunning, and you were real pretty yesterday, but I wasn’t quite expecting this,” the drummer explained, not holding back his words the slightest bit. At the end of the sentence, however, his eyes stopped wandering, focusing somewhere just beneath Hyde’s face and the vocalist knew they found the mark that Tetsu left just a few minutes ago. “Also heard about those,” the younger man continued without missing a beat, stepping a little closer. “The people I spoke with were arguing whether those were real or did you just fake them with make-up or something to rile your fans up,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
Hyde pushed a blush down as he hastily considered his options. Fortunately, it did not seem like either he or Tetsu looked like they had just been making out a few minutes ago. Sakura obviously did not really suspect anything between him and Tetsu at the very least, so he could easily get away with leaving the secret of their relationship intact.
“If I told you, wouldn’t it ruin the mystery?” Hyde purred sensuously as he casually shifted his gown to partially cover the mark and flashed a smile to the drummer, playing his stage persona perfectly. “Now you can wonder about it all through the show,” he finished before mischievously turning away. He risked a wicked wink towards Tetsu then and the bassist, who had been trying to stare disapprovingly at his teasing actions until then, was forced to turn away slightly himself to hide an amused smile.
Ensured then that everything was fine, Hyde sat back down in front of the mirror to finish with his make-up and hair, leaving the drummer to think what he wished. But the atmosphere suddenly took a major shift again as Ken burst back into the room.
“You actually did a good job there, Hyde,” the guitarist said unceremoniously as he immediately went to prepare for the live himself. Just like Pero, he had far less to do than Hyde and Tetsu did, mostly because of the differences in their images (and hair lengths), but with how little time they had left he still had to hurry.
“There’s no need to sound so surprised about that,” Hyde answered, pretending to take offense but not shifting his eyes from the mirror where he witnessed Sakura moving towards one of the walls to lean down on it casually.
The other door to the room opened again then and Pero stepped into the room. Only now did Hyde realize how long his friend had been gone and was about to ask him about that, but from the way Pero’s eyes immediately went towards him and Tetsu, as if checking up on their moods, Hyde figured out the drummer must have realized their need for privacy before and went away just to give them that. He felt a pang of something very close to pain then, as he realized that this man that knew them so well was really leaving them after today.
Having confirmed that they both seemed more relaxed now, Pero let himself take a look at Sakura then. After a moment of not so subtle sizing up, he relaxed, looking satisfied with what he saw and politely nodded his head towards his colleague and possible replacement in the band he had grown to love.
“I’m Pero, the bastard that’s leaving them,” he introduced himself jokingly, closing the door behind him and taking a step further into the room.
“Sakura,” the other drummer said simply with a smile in acknowledgment of the self-depreciating introduction and then nodded sideways to the other three band members, “Any warning about why I shouldn’t agree to join them?” he asked, only half kidding, ignoring the fact that it was rather weird of him to ask the question with the three of them present. Not the least bit perturbed by that, Pero shook his head.
“Unless you count their being almost intimidatingly good, then no, there isn’t anything. Believe me, if you join them, you won’t be regretting it.”
“But there must be a reason why you’re leaving?”
“Other than me being a jerk, no, not really,” Pero answered, but when Sakura just raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him, he continued. “It’s really all about my personal reasons. They had nothing to do with my decision to leave.”
Ken could not stop himself from snorting then, something that Hyde knew was aimed specifically at him and Tetsu, but stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. Tetsu did not either, so in the end it was only the two drummers that looked at the guitarist questioningly. But Ken just waved them off.
“I think it’s about time we get going,” he said instead.
Fortunately, all of them were finished with preparations by then and simultaneously stood up and gathered in the middle of the room, Sakura just watching quietly from the side as the four of them started their pre-live tradition, their hands joining in the middle of their circle.
“Another goodbye show, huh,” Tetsu started, staring down at their joined hands, a frown back on his face as he seemed to fail coming up with anything fitting to say. Almost without a thought, his eyes rose to look at Pero. “Do you have anything you want to say, Pero?” The drummer looked startled at the unprecedented question from the leader, but it only lasted for a second.
“Just sorry,” he said, atypically quiet, looking down at their hands just as Tetsu had before, “and thank you.”
“Yeah. Thank you is right,” Tetsu muttered almost to himself, before taking a deep breath and ending more enthusiastically.
“Let’s show those people how good we are tonight!”
Sakura slipped away to join the audience just before they went out onto the stage themselves, reminding them that it was not only fans they still needed to impress tonight.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
After the unusual preparations for it, it was only to be expected that the live would be a little bit different as well. Fortunately, the change was all towards the better, because even though they always made sure to do their best at every show, whenever a live was as special as this one, it seemed that they all found it within themselves to do even better, try even harder. Pero’s last live with them was no exception to that rule.
The drummer ended the live with a heartfelt thank you and goodbye, as well as deep bow towards his fans, obviously as moved by what just occurred as every other person in the room. Despite that and the audience’s shouts for him not to leave, there was no hesitation in his step when he eventually left the stage. For him, his part in L’Arc~en~Ciel’s history was over.
Or nearly over. There was still the obligatory after party. They quickly relocated to their traditional bar with the unusual, but not unwelcome, addition of Sakura to their quartet for a more private goodbye.
“To the last thirty six lives we had together,” Tetsu toasted rather solemnly with his bottle of beer, unintentionally making Hyde smile as he confirmed the vocalist’s earlier thoughts.
“And to the thousands of lives you’ll hopefully have together in the future,” Pero added, with a more optimistic note, raising his own beer in response, soon followed by the others.
It was almost strange, given the circumstances, how easily they managed to relax and just have fun. Maybe it was the occasion, or maybe it was just how well the five of them fit together, but before long, everyone was relaxed and it felt like the five of them had all known each other for a very long time.
Well, almost. Hyde knew it was his own stubbornness this time that made him push his normal awkwardness at social interactions with new acquaintances aside, but Sakura did make it incredibly easy. As did, admittedly, the alcohol. Because before he realized it, Hyde found that he had consumed beer far more unreservedly than he was used to. Knowing that the night had only begun, he excused himself from the company, feeling a need to splash his heated face with some cold water.
As he was standing in front of the mirror in the washroom, staring at his now makeup-less face, he let the thoughts that had been buzzing in his head the whole day loose.
Maybe it was not only the alcohol that made him feel weird. For some reason this day almost felt like an end of a whole era in their lives. In two days, a new year will roll about and they would soon be moving, if only temporarily, to Tokyo. Recording a full album, in a real studio, with the guidance of true professionals. What they were doing suddenly felt much more real than ever before. Despite all the setbacks, L’Arc~en~Ciel was steadily moving forward, getting them closer to their dreams. And whether it was Sakura that would fill the now empty position (something that seemed more and more likely the more they got to know the man) or somebody else, Hyde knew that this amazing band would always be something that he belonged to.
Hyde sighed, shaking off the mushy thoughts. Maybe he could not write off the way he felt to alcohol, but he could certainly write off his sappiness about it to it.
He was about to leave the washroom when the door was opened from the other side and he barely managed to stop in time to avoid collision. Strong arms shot out to steady him, and he stood frozen as he unexpectedly found himself directly in front of Sakura, staring, the drummer looking back at him with a strange look in his eyes.
“That,” the slightly tipsy drummer said rather smugly, nodding pointedly down at Hyde’s neck which was now very close and completely exposed for him, “Is not a fake,” and promptly went around him, leaving the stunned vocalist free to leave and rejoin his friends at their table.
Just great, now he was feeling flushed again.
“I think he’s coming on to me,” he hissed to Tetsu without preamble as soon as he sat down, but, unfortunately for him, his whisper was loud enough that the other two heard him even through the loud music that was playing in the bar, making them laugh out loud.
“You can’t really be that surprised,” Ken commented, completely unconcerned. Hyde looked over to Tetsu for some support, but the bassist seemed as amused as the other two.
“He’s a man!” Hyde blurted out the obvious. It was all good and well when male fans whistled at him from the audience while he was on the stage, but this was different. The only answer he received to that, however, were pointed looks. “We’ve spent the better part of the evening together, discussing the boobs of the girls in the bar! It wasn’t supposed to happen,” he defended himself, but only got an indulging pat on the back from Tetsu.
“Not to make you more uncomfortable,” Pero spoke up, “but with you it sometimes seems like gender doesn’t really matter. Even for straight guys.” Ken barely noticeably nodded in agreement.
“Not to disappoint you, but your effort to not make me more uncomfortable completely failed just now,” Hyde snapped back, curling a little bit onto himself. He did not want this right now. All he was doing was trying to make Sakura feel welcome. But not that welcome.
“Just take it as a compliment. Didn’t you say you like him yesterday?” Tetsu finally joined the conversation.
“Well yeah, he’s fun to hang out with but… Wait, you’re not upset about this?” He asked suddenly, surprised. His lover just shrugged.
“Why would I be? I actually find it flattering as well,” the bassist answered, completely undisturbed. “If he joins Laruku, at some point we’ll tell him about us and you’ll tell him you only want to be friends, right? Most likely he’ll just be relieved that he doesn’t have to figure out why he’s having feelings for a man. And if he doesn’t join … then there’s even less to worry about. For now just enjoy the attention. And look, he’s coming back.”
Sakura was indeed coming back, a slight stumble in his step betraying to Hyde that the drummer was even more drunk than he had thought before. Still a little disturbed by it, he ordered another beer for himself. Whether this was a day that marked a big change in their lives or not, he was getting drunk. Tetsu could take care of getting them home intact after that.
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This one was pretty fun to write ^^ Hope you enjoyed
EDIT: for anyone who tried to read this the day I updated: I"m Sorry! Either LJ or Firefox or both were screwing with me majorly.
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Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20