Where is the Problem?
I think that this is a nice follow up to my entry on Assholes:
Several years ago Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len confronted me with a very simple question. His question was about the problems that I experienced in life. He asked, “Where is the problem?”
At first my mind froze. Where was the problem? Then I felt confused. What did that mean? Wasn’t it obvious where the problems were? They were, well, where they were. They were with the events and people who caused the problems.
Then Dr. Len shared something from his personal experience. He shared that he noticed something about the problems he had. He noticed that there was a common element in every single problem he had. What was it? What was present with every problem Dr. Len had? Dr. Len. Dr. Len was present with every problem he had.
Where was the problem? Dr. Len shared that the problem was in him. Every single problem he had was in him. His problems were not out there in the events and people where he thought they were. The problems were in him. All of his problems were his.
After he learned where the problems were he stopped blaming others for his problems. His problems were his, 100% his. He started owning his problems. He then started taking 100% responsibility for his problems.
Dr. Len disillusioned me. He took away my illusions about where my problems were. He took away my excuses. I could no longer blame others for my problems. The problems I had with events that happened or the people in my life were not out there anymore. My problems were in me. My problems were mine, 100% mine. The question for me was whether or not I would own my problems. Was I willing to take 100% responsibility for my problems and do something about them?
Thank you, Dr. Len, for teaching me one of the most important lessons of my life.
Here is a link to an article about Dr. Len:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-Dr-Hew-Len-healed-a-ward-of-mentally-ill-criminals-with-Hooponopono