Sex and Sex Magic
Sex: The Word
The word “sex” can bring many different images to mind and evoke a wide range of emotions. It can bring to mind happy childhood memories of secret, innocent play as well as memories of the first time with someone we loved. It can bring up memories of the best lovers we ever had as well as the worst. It can also prompt embarrassing memories if not memories of deep hurt. The word can propel our minds into fantasies of what we would like to do in the future (fulfill some unquenched desire) or of what we really never would do but get aroused thinking about.
The word can evoke a crowd of feelings connected with our memories and fantasies: joy, sadness, guilt, hurt, fear, anger, lust, desire, mischievousness, coyness, virility, shyness and pleasure-just to name a few.
So Many Different Kinds
There are so many different kinds of sex. There is sex as play, sex to have a baby, sex to release tension, sex as making love and sex as fucking. There is sex as manipulation, domination, satisfying an addiction, abuse, violence and rape. And, there is also sex magic.
Sex Magic
For me, sex magic flows from a very clean, clear and pure inner well. It is free of all imbalances such as exercising domination and power over another against her or his will. It is certainly clear of doing any harm to another. It comes from a place that is free of fear, guilt, sadness, shame or any other limiting feeling. It is not about the thrill of the forbidden or fascination with the exceptional or even the need to fill an unmet need.
From Where it Comes
It comes from a place within that is about unconditional positive regard for self and others, nonjudgmental acceptance, mutual consent, equality in power, the desire to give and receive, doing no harm and having an open heart and a smile.
It is about beauty, joy, pleasure, celebration and ecstasy. It is about fun and playful creativity, shared power, exploration and experimentation. It is life-affirming, healing, empowering, inspiring, awe-filling, and wave-riding. It is about orgasm delayed for an explosive release that can connect us with all and make us see the stars.
What it Took for Me
In order for me to practice sex magic, I first had to fully accept my sexuality. I had to own it as it was in all of its richness and complexity. I had to stop denying and denigrating it in myself and others. Even more, I had to rejoice in it and take delight in celebrating it freely. It is natural; it is human. I had to fully acknowledge its power-the power of life itself.
All of the above and more is where sex magic comes from in me.