The worst thing about debate...
Is that both sides have very valid points and in the end there is no great impartial judge who can decide who was right. Existence has no judge save, God, if he does exist in the way shape or form that you believe; and whether or not you believe in him at all. So there either is or isn't.
Had a terribly heated discussion with my mother about religion tonight where I didn't say much and she said and read plenty. The strangest thing in all of this discussion is just how numb I felt through all of it, as she said things and as I said some things back some of which I know I should be regretful of. Normally I might have cried or gotten upset that was simply not the case tonight. Perhaps I'm just resigned to it now, the denial of acceptance. Even now I'm feeling very numb about the whole thing.My mother and I are at a spiritual impasse and she's not taking it well. And neither am I not really it'll probably burn fierce once the numbness wears off.
I just don't know about myself anymore I'm really not who I thought I was and I'm nowhere near who i'd like to be. Even though that's so, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy with myself. I am me. The only me that ever was and may ever be to my knowledge.
I don't believe in absolutes. The world doesn't operate in absolutes and I simply can't bring myself to see a god who also deals in absolutes. If life is the gift than it's meant to be used and that perhaps the best thing we can do in this life is try to obtain happiness to feel contentment in the good that we have and share our goodness with others.Beyond that the rest of it seems like nonsense and trappings to me. None of our experiences are invalid or sinful they just are.They lead to the next set of events both happy and sad and you can't in anyway hope to navigate them with your will or belief. I don't see that as a denial of God and just don't wanna reject the possibilities and the freedom that I personally have over my own actions.
The worse part about this age is that back in the head feeling that you're being a snotty little kid trying to deny vegetables. That your elders only want what's best for you, and that by denying their will you are being not only foolish but you're also stunting your growth. This is how I always feel when discussing things with my mother. It's like "well this is how I feel about this and what I think." and then her reply is "Ah, but you don't really know anything and I am right because you are wrong; but thanks for coming to play." to which I'm forced to reply "Yes, perhaps it is different because these are my thoughts and not yours which is fine that they're different." which gets capped by "Yes, you'd like to think so, but i thought those thoughts ages ago when they were fresh and I was wrong then just as you are now. I know for sure now." "But if you we're wrong before than how do you know you're ri..." "I just am"
and on and on and on
It's very tiring.
Going to the bookstore tommorow... so yea. There's that to look forward to.
Had a terribly heated discussion with my mother about religion tonight where I didn't say much and she said and read plenty. The strangest thing in all of this discussion is just how numb I felt through all of it, as she said things and as I said some things back some of which I know I should be regretful of. Normally I might have cried or gotten upset that was simply not the case tonight. Perhaps I'm just resigned to it now, the denial of acceptance. Even now I'm feeling very numb about the whole thing.My mother and I are at a spiritual impasse and she's not taking it well. And neither am I not really it'll probably burn fierce once the numbness wears off.
I just don't know about myself anymore I'm really not who I thought I was and I'm nowhere near who i'd like to be. Even though that's so, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy with myself. I am me. The only me that ever was and may ever be to my knowledge.
I don't believe in absolutes. The world doesn't operate in absolutes and I simply can't bring myself to see a god who also deals in absolutes. If life is the gift than it's meant to be used and that perhaps the best thing we can do in this life is try to obtain happiness to feel contentment in the good that we have and share our goodness with others.Beyond that the rest of it seems like nonsense and trappings to me. None of our experiences are invalid or sinful they just are.They lead to the next set of events both happy and sad and you can't in anyway hope to navigate them with your will or belief. I don't see that as a denial of God and just don't wanna reject the possibilities and the freedom that I personally have over my own actions.
The worse part about this age is that back in the head feeling that you're being a snotty little kid trying to deny vegetables. That your elders only want what's best for you, and that by denying their will you are being not only foolish but you're also stunting your growth. This is how I always feel when discussing things with my mother. It's like "well this is how I feel about this and what I think." and then her reply is "Ah, but you don't really know anything and I am right because you are wrong; but thanks for coming to play." to which I'm forced to reply "Yes, perhaps it is different because these are my thoughts and not yours which is fine that they're different." which gets capped by "Yes, you'd like to think so, but i thought those thoughts ages ago when they were fresh and I was wrong then just as you are now. I know for sure now." "But if you we're wrong before than how do you know you're ri..." "I just am"
and on and on and on
It's very tiring.
Going to the bookstore tommorow... so yea. There's that to look forward to.