Vietnam Dreams
I read a quote in the newspaper today by a man named George McGovern.
"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."
Ako rin Mr. McGovern. I'm sick and tired of hearing old men dreaming about the wars that they fought when they were young. And believe me, the dreams aren't good ones.
These past few days, puro kasi PTSD patients ang nakukuha ko sa wards. PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. These are the guys who saw the horrors of Vietnam, lived through them and remained silent survivors. Nakakaawa talaga sila. A lot of them have turned to alcohol and drugs to drown out the nightmares and the flashbacks. Its funny how I always read about PTSD in med school and the concept of flashbacks always seemed kind of unreal. Working at a VA hospital, it has become an almost commonplace symptom.
I have a patient who doesn't like to talk to anyone about his PTSD. He looks like a biker dude, 6 feet tall, covered in tatoos and has a wild, tangled white beard. For some reason though, he seems to like me. I was talking to him today and he suddenly opened up. He was married to a Vietnamese girl pala when he was in active duty. He came home one day and found that she was killed by the Communists. After that nagwala daw sha. Dami daw siyang napatay.
And then he tells me that he keeps having to re-live a scene where his commnding officer held a gun to his head telling him to fire upon a couple of Vietnamese kids in enemy territory. Hindi daw nya ma-forgive ang sarili nya for shooting them. As he tells this story, he is practically in tears.
I guess after surviving a war like Vietnam, some people can never really come home again.
"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."
Ako rin Mr. McGovern. I'm sick and tired of hearing old men dreaming about the wars that they fought when they were young. And believe me, the dreams aren't good ones.
These past few days, puro kasi PTSD patients ang nakukuha ko sa wards. PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. These are the guys who saw the horrors of Vietnam, lived through them and remained silent survivors. Nakakaawa talaga sila. A lot of them have turned to alcohol and drugs to drown out the nightmares and the flashbacks. Its funny how I always read about PTSD in med school and the concept of flashbacks always seemed kind of unreal. Working at a VA hospital, it has become an almost commonplace symptom.
I have a patient who doesn't like to talk to anyone about his PTSD. He looks like a biker dude, 6 feet tall, covered in tatoos and has a wild, tangled white beard. For some reason though, he seems to like me. I was talking to him today and he suddenly opened up. He was married to a Vietnamese girl pala when he was in active duty. He came home one day and found that she was killed by the Communists. After that nagwala daw sha. Dami daw siyang napatay.
And then he tells me that he keeps having to re-live a scene where his commnding officer held a gun to his head telling him to fire upon a couple of Vietnamese kids in enemy territory. Hindi daw nya ma-forgive ang sarili nya for shooting them. As he tells this story, he is practically in tears.
I guess after surviving a war like Vietnam, some people can never really come home again.