ABORTION!!!!
Now that I have everyone's attention, read my journal b/c I haven't updated it in a while :-p, and please comment because all of you friends are important to me and I like to know what you think about me and in general. So...
I had an awesomely fun night friday night, even though I was pretty tired and worn out before it started. My two midterms went poorly, but who cares? Do I care? Nope. I'm done caring about school, because I've decided that it would be hypocritical of me to pretend that it....... matters, is well-run, is useful to me (and to many others) in its current form, or does not teach us skewed values. I will try not to have such a depressing view of school, because that is just not good for anyone. In other words, I would feel morally uncomfortable to pretend in any way that I care about school, because I believe that many people feel exactly the same way I do about school. Though they are mostly too afraid to stray from the system, because they depend on their success to get the job they desire. I, however, am confident in my ability to do whatever job I get, so it doesn't carry the same weight for me that it does others. Anyways, you have all heard me rant about school, so I'll skip it (kinda like I do my classes! haha! ha!)
Friday night was very enjoyable, all thanks to Jawn. He had won tickets from a Blitz call-in contest to the Sevendust concert and invited me to come along. It's very much my kind of music. The bands were Atoms Shift (i think), Apartment 26, Cold, and of course Sevendust. The first band I thought was quite good. The second band was too, but the vocalists style had something in it that I didn't quite jive with for some reason. Cold was very cool, but as Jawn said, they didn't interact with the crowd as much as I think would be good. Sevendust was great, and I got to crowd surf toward the end of Denial, so that was sweet. Afterwards we went and got some free Jimmy Johns subs from my buddy Jason. So we had about a $60 night for $6.50!!!
Saturday was just plain packed and tiring. I did get to build a huge Lego ship with tom though, too bad I was so tired. Afterwards my parents got me to help them bring a huge massage chair into their house, after which I took it for a good test drive. It does a pretty good job. Then my parents took me out to Mongolian BBQ, where I ate tons of gooood food.
I have lately been rather aloof. I wonder if I spend too much time in front of screens, and not in front of people. People talk a lot about the idea of falling in love. It's a pretty though-about thing, probably moreso than just about anything else a person can think about. To me that emotion seems so fickle, surprisingly as much as any other emotion. At least to me it seems that way. It always bothers me when people speak so highly of falling in love, almost to the point of idolizing it. The main reason this bothers me is because 9/10 people will be "in love" with someone else a year later, after telling everyone how "in love" they are with whoever they're currently with. Perhaps real love is more of a choice than a 'feeling'?
This seems to me to be much more natural. At least to me, my emotions seem to come and go as they please, and there's rarely much I can do about it. You can try to make yourself feel any way you want, but that always ends up causing some kind of addiction or dependency that seems to be unhealthy. I dunno about other people, but I would personally like to be with someone who has the strength to choose to love me without depending on that emotional high to be there first. It's not hard to do things for someone when you're on an emotional high. How can "love" be so highly regarded if it is indeed so fickle as the emotion? No, I think the best kind of love is a choice, one that can be encouraged by and also encite the emotion of love, but does not depend on the emotion to be there. If indeed the best love is a choice, then it will sometimes be hard, because circumstances are just as fickle as our emotions. This makes more sense to me than any other way to think about love. The great thing about this is that love cannot be taken away from you, since it's a choice we make. But what could be better than to have others choose to love you as well, out of simple choice, and not because you compelled them to do so? I find it very nice when someone comes along with an act of kindness for no apparent reason. It makes me feel very loved, if only that happened more often.
Today I went out to the end of the dam structure near our apartment. A policeman drove by while I was up there, but I layed down and I don't think she saw me. I got plenty of sun while I was up there too, listened to some music and spent time just chillin with God and hanging around. It was very relaxed.
Oh man, 2 more years of school, this is aweful. I have to go study.
I had an awesomely fun night friday night, even though I was pretty tired and worn out before it started. My two midterms went poorly, but who cares? Do I care? Nope. I'm done caring about school, because I've decided that it would be hypocritical of me to pretend that it....... matters, is well-run, is useful to me (and to many others) in its current form, or does not teach us skewed values. I will try not to have such a depressing view of school, because that is just not good for anyone. In other words, I would feel morally uncomfortable to pretend in any way that I care about school, because I believe that many people feel exactly the same way I do about school. Though they are mostly too afraid to stray from the system, because they depend on their success to get the job they desire. I, however, am confident in my ability to do whatever job I get, so it doesn't carry the same weight for me that it does others. Anyways, you have all heard me rant about school, so I'll skip it (kinda like I do my classes! haha! ha!)
Friday night was very enjoyable, all thanks to Jawn. He had won tickets from a Blitz call-in contest to the Sevendust concert and invited me to come along. It's very much my kind of music. The bands were Atoms Shift (i think), Apartment 26, Cold, and of course Sevendust. The first band I thought was quite good. The second band was too, but the vocalists style had something in it that I didn't quite jive with for some reason. Cold was very cool, but as Jawn said, they didn't interact with the crowd as much as I think would be good. Sevendust was great, and I got to crowd surf toward the end of Denial, so that was sweet. Afterwards we went and got some free Jimmy Johns subs from my buddy Jason. So we had about a $60 night for $6.50!!!
Saturday was just plain packed and tiring. I did get to build a huge Lego ship with tom though, too bad I was so tired. Afterwards my parents got me to help them bring a huge massage chair into their house, after which I took it for a good test drive. It does a pretty good job. Then my parents took me out to Mongolian BBQ, where I ate tons of gooood food.
I have lately been rather aloof. I wonder if I spend too much time in front of screens, and not in front of people. People talk a lot about the idea of falling in love. It's a pretty though-about thing, probably moreso than just about anything else a person can think about. To me that emotion seems so fickle, surprisingly as much as any other emotion. At least to me it seems that way. It always bothers me when people speak so highly of falling in love, almost to the point of idolizing it. The main reason this bothers me is because 9/10 people will be "in love" with someone else a year later, after telling everyone how "in love" they are with whoever they're currently with. Perhaps real love is more of a choice than a 'feeling'?
This seems to me to be much more natural. At least to me, my emotions seem to come and go as they please, and there's rarely much I can do about it. You can try to make yourself feel any way you want, but that always ends up causing some kind of addiction or dependency that seems to be unhealthy. I dunno about other people, but I would personally like to be with someone who has the strength to choose to love me without depending on that emotional high to be there first. It's not hard to do things for someone when you're on an emotional high. How can "love" be so highly regarded if it is indeed so fickle as the emotion? No, I think the best kind of love is a choice, one that can be encouraged by and also encite the emotion of love, but does not depend on the emotion to be there. If indeed the best love is a choice, then it will sometimes be hard, because circumstances are just as fickle as our emotions. This makes more sense to me than any other way to think about love. The great thing about this is that love cannot be taken away from you, since it's a choice we make. But what could be better than to have others choose to love you as well, out of simple choice, and not because you compelled them to do so? I find it very nice when someone comes along with an act of kindness for no apparent reason. It makes me feel very loved, if only that happened more often.
Today I went out to the end of the dam structure near our apartment. A policeman drove by while I was up there, but I layed down and I don't think she saw me. I got plenty of sun while I was up there too, listened to some music and spent time just chillin with God and hanging around. It was very relaxed.
Oh man, 2 more years of school, this is aweful. I have to go study.