eh... i dont know
Im realy sick of shit...Im sick of working in the sun all day breakin my back mixin cement in the god damned heat...Im sick of having a curfew when im a fuckin grown man shit the only way I can get out and do what ever I want is to say "HEY! IM GOIN CAMPIN, My phone dont work where im goin so dont bother callin." Im sick of being alone. Im sick of bein depressed. Im sick goin to court and paying fee's cause some dumb mark ass snitch ass bitch would rather put his pride aside and call the cops then stand up and handle his life and problems himself and then have the nerve to talk more shit....after I chin checked him. Im sick of being shy. Im sick of not havin money to take care of my shit. Im sick of having to deal with this pointless bullshit. Im getting sick of drama. and most of all Im sick of not changing my situation and handling my problems like a pro time for a positave life change...hahaha yeah whatever.. On a happier note im getting paid tomarrow and eventually gettin a check from my insurance company for the car I totaled so ill have a ride soon and will have money for beer.....but yeah since this entry is a little odd and doesnt make sense(like most of my entries) Lets start with my fears...I fear fucking up probation and going to jail for a long long time...Its a thought thats always in my mind and constantly fucking with me...Not cause I fear jail , Hell I had a good time when I was in there(a whole 7 hours) what i fear about it is the fact I wont be there for the people I care about and that when I get out my nephew will be walkin and talking and saying "get er done"(his dad is a redneck) I fear that while Im in the one im suppose to be with for the rest of my life is suppose to bump into me somewhere and I miss it..I fear for what my family will go through with me not around I keep this family from going crazy and dying every single day..I hate it but oh well ...Thats all I fear..People in my life needing me and needing help and me not being able to help or me not around or me dead...Thats all..Fuck my happiness, theirs is 100 times more important than mine....Ok lets go into my dreams..I geuss their pretty lame...I wanna be a carpenter, I wanna own a pool hall/bar/venue, I wanna sing and play guitar in a country as fuck rockabilly band, I wanna fall in love, I want her to fall in love with me,I wanna get married, I wanna have a few kids, I wanna have money in my pocket and be happy... oh yeah tatoos I want a whole bunch of tats...Like covered in em..and a hot rod..or 4 and a motorcycle or too..... Ok this is long stupid and lame as hell so I'll stop before I make a fool of myself even more...by the way if you read all this your lame