Clay had a decent morning, following his good wishes to his wife on her first day back. Staff meetings and things went off without a hitch and at 10:55 he headed down from his office to the DPD to have his usual coffee date with his wife.
When the elevator opened, he saw Annie sitting at her desk, white as a sheet. Something happened, and he knew he wasn't going to like what it was. As he approached her desk, the usual hush that came over the room started and for once he didn't notice. Clay was only concerned about Annie.
"Annie?" Clay spoke quietly to his wife, "Ready for coffee?"
Annie knew Clay was standing there. She could hear him and see him, but she couldn't answer him. Her mind was back in Europe, reliving the end of the op as she'd turned and walked away from six months of hell.
The room was too quiet, and the roar in her ears was too loud. "No." She wasn't talking to him. In fact, she wasn't even looking at him. "I'm leaving."
It was a little more forceful, but still quiet as he wasn't trying to make a scene. Whatever was going to happen shouldn't happen in the DPD's bullpen or anywhere else remotely public. If possible, he was going to get her into the elevator and into his office.
"I can't stay." She was still staring at her computer screen. He may or may not have understood her next few sentences, depending on his fluency in Ukrainian, but she rattled off a bit, then whispered, "I know. I love you, too."
Closing her eyes tight, she swallowed hard as if she were trying hard not to be sick to her stomach.
Clay got the gist of Annie's rambling in Ukrainian. She'd never betray someone, that she'd be back soon, then plain as day she loved whoever it was. This was not good, and nothing but his eyes let on that something was very wrong.
During the span of time that all of this was going on, the new agent that set everything off had gone to get Joan. Clay didn't even notice that Joan was nearby.
"Annie," Joan began as she tried to get Annie to look at her, "you should go downstairs." She hoped that Webb got the hint to go with her.
Jai had come over the moment Joan had appeared as he had been the one that had extracted Annie from Ukraine.
"Her extraction only got worse from there. He tried to stop her from leaving and there was gunfire exchanged," he said under his breath to his superiors. "I wouldn't normally say we should interrupt, but if her flashback gets that far--"
"I just want her to go somewhere else, and I know she would rather have this happen somewhere relatively private." If Jai and Joan wanted to come with him then so be it, but right now he wanted to get her out of the middle of the bullpen.
A few seconds later he decided whatever physical fall out might happen would be worth it, and grabbed his wife out of her chair. So much for not making a scene, he thought as he headed toward the elevator. Hoping someone had the forethought to push the up button.
Jai's assessment had been right -- Annie's mind immediately went to how Yuriy had grabbed her and she tensed hard enough to cause the muscles in her back to spasm.
Thankfully, Jai had also had the foresight to have the elevator open by the time Clay got there and thankfully her scream was cut off when the doors shut. Stepping close, Jai cupped her face in his hands and said her name sharply before pulling her close and murmuring in her ear.
Clay looked at Jai, "It was that bad, wasn't it?" At this moment he was just going to keep his arms around her until they reached his office. Then he hoped she'd be with it enough to talk.
"He didn't want her to go," Jai explained. "He had a feeling she wasn't coming back and no matter how much she assured him that she was his, that she wasn't going to stay gone, that she was deeply, madly in love with him--" Jai slid Clay a look. "He was possessive and abusive. If theirs was a real relationship, he'd have killed her in another couple of weeks. He always killed them." Motioning to Annie, he said simply, "They fought."
The elevator arrived at the seventh floor and Annie raised her eyes to Clay, but her entire expression mirrored that of the night she'd gotten back.
And in the last ten minutes, he'd learned more about Annie's mission than he had since she'd been back. Her visits to the psychologist made even more sense now.
Clay led Annie and Jai into his office, with a look directed at Trish that clearly said, "Make sure I'm not disturbed."
"Annie?" Clay asked in such a way that it sounded like he was checking to see if it was all over.
It was over, but her level of embarrassment was through the roof. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to melt through the floor and disappear forever. And though she was married to Clay, though she knew he understood the trauma of long-term ops, all she could think to say was, "I'm sorry."
Her apology came out a whisper, barely audible. She looked at Jai and shook her head helplessly, her shoulders lifting in a gesture of, 'I don't know what to do'. Jai's smile was encouraging, but he didn't reach out to touch her. Turning back to Clay, Annie hugged herself tightly and bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. The pain and copper taste helped shock her back to reality even more. "Oh, Clay. I'm so sorry."
Clay reached under the back portion of his desk and got Annie a cold bottle of water and made sure his box of tissues was within easy reach. As he handed Annie the water, he sat next to her.
"It's not okay!" The outburst was quick and immediate and violet as she pushed the water bottle away. Jai dropped his arms and stepped closer, just in case, but he didn't say or do anything else. Annie looked at Clay with anger and confusion in her eyes. "Don't you see? This is not okay. I am not okay. I can't even come back to work without having some kind of panic attack and now the entire DPD knows that I'm unstable and I need my husband to come down and take care of me. To protect me. Because I'm obviously too weak to take care of myself after a mission."
She stepped back and pushed her hands through her hair, the tears welling in her eyes. "I'm just..." She felt sick to her stomach and she lowered both hands there to steady herself. "I'm going to be sick."
Before he said anything, Clay moved his trash can from under his desk and closer to Annie, "No one thinks you can't take care of yourself. I came down to get you for coffee. Everything else just happened."
If he hadn't been the one to get her out of there it would have been Joan or Auggie or Jai. At least with Webb he was able to get her some place away from everyone else.
"Maybe you came back to work too soon, that's all."
"That's not nearly enough after spending six months not being yourself," Jai interjected. "Believe me, I know."
Annie lifted her head and looked at him, the tears finally spilling over. "I'd just gotten married," she whispered. "I was a happy woman. I had everything I ever wanted and now I don't even remember what that was like."
When the elevator opened, he saw Annie sitting at her desk, white as a sheet. Something happened, and he knew he wasn't going to like what it was. As he approached her desk, the usual hush that came over the room started and for once he didn't notice. Clay was only concerned about Annie.
"Annie?" Clay spoke quietly to his wife, "Ready for coffee?"
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The room was too quiet, and the roar in her ears was too loud. "No." She wasn't talking to him. In fact, she wasn't even looking at him. "I'm leaving."
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It was a little more forceful, but still quiet as he wasn't trying to make a scene. Whatever was going to happen shouldn't happen in the DPD's bullpen or anywhere else remotely public. If possible, he was going to get her into the elevator and into his office.
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Closing her eyes tight, she swallowed hard as if she were trying hard not to be sick to her stomach.
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During the span of time that all of this was going on, the new agent that set everything off had gone to get Joan. Clay didn't even notice that Joan was nearby.
"Annie," Joan began as she tried to get Annie to look at her, "you should go downstairs." She hoped that Webb got the hint to go with her.
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"Her extraction only got worse from there. He tried to stop her from leaving and there was gunfire exchanged," he said under his breath to his superiors. "I wouldn't normally say we should interrupt, but if her flashback gets that far--"
Annie had started to shake.
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A few seconds later he decided whatever physical fall out might happen would be worth it, and grabbed his wife out of her chair. So much for not making a scene, he thought as he headed toward the elevator. Hoping someone had the forethought to push the up button.
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Thankfully, Jai had also had the foresight to have the elevator open by the time Clay got there and thankfully her scream was cut off when the doors shut. Stepping close, Jai cupped her face in his hands and said her name sharply before pulling her close and murmuring in her ear.
Slumping against Clay, Annie whimpered.
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The elevator arrived at the seventh floor and Annie raised her eyes to Clay, but her entire expression mirrored that of the night she'd gotten back.
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And in the last ten minutes, he'd learned more about Annie's mission than he had since she'd been back. Her visits to the psychologist made even more sense now.
Clay led Annie and Jai into his office, with a look directed at Trish that clearly said, "Make sure I'm not disturbed."
"Annie?" Clay asked in such a way that it sounded like he was checking to see if it was all over.
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Her apology came out a whisper, barely audible. She looked at Jai and shook her head helplessly, her shoulders lifting in a gesture of, 'I don't know what to do'. Jai's smile was encouraging, but he didn't reach out to touch her. Turning back to Clay, Annie hugged herself tightly and bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. The pain and copper taste helped shock her back to reality even more. "Oh, Clay. I'm so sorry."
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Clay reached under the back portion of his desk and got Annie a cold bottle of water and made sure his box of tissues was within easy reach. As he handed Annie the water, he sat next to her.
"It's okay, Annie. Whatever happened it's okay."
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She stepped back and pushed her hands through her hair, the tears welling in her eyes. "I'm just..." She felt sick to her stomach and she lowered both hands there to steady herself. "I'm going to be sick."
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If he hadn't been the one to get her out of there it would have been Joan or Auggie or Jai. At least with Webb he was able to get her some place away from everyone else.
"Maybe you came back to work too soon, that's all."
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"That's not nearly enough after spending six months not being yourself," Jai interjected. "Believe me, I know."
Annie lifted her head and looked at him, the tears finally spilling over. "I'd just gotten married," she whispered. "I was a happy woman. I had everything I ever wanted and now I don't even remember what that was like."
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