23

[freshmelon]

I'm sad today. Nothing happened today to make me feel that way though. I think it's just my overall dissatisfaction with people. It's weird, I am an adult in every aspect, but am still so damn naive about life. I expect that everyone is thoughtful, sincere, caring, etc, just because I am. That is so not the case, and I feel like I should have already learned this lesson years ago. But I am torn, even though I feel I should adjust my way of thinking in order to get through life easier, at the same time I feel like I shouldn't have to change myself. It just sucks because when people let me down, I take it way too personal and it hurts me so bad. I just can't believe how selfish,ungrateful, backstabbing, and hypocritical people can be. And of all places in Utah...isn't everyone supposed to be a happy, loving Mormon?? WTF?

Hopefully, within a year I will be getting the hell out of Utah. Don't get me wrong...it's beautiful and I love it, but the people scare me. Once a month i get some crazy telling me that the earthquake is going to kill everyone and to get the hell out....and apparently all the "big love" stuff, actually happens all around. I'm just over it. I just want to get my degree. As soon as I do that, I can move to Maryland and hopefully have my family all back together. It's really weird where my life keeps taking me. I always thought I would live in Texas forever and ever amen.

I don't even want to think anymore...I'm just getting sadder.