too much lj emo in one day: this is getting ridiculous, especially because it's pretty rational
i'm glad that i was happy earlier. i had been worrying all day; for most of the first part of the day i was really tense and very unhappy.
i have been really nervous since i read the email about the "incident", i don't even know how to talk about this shit. i can't believe that something like this happened in a situation nearly identical to mine, as far as i know.
that means one thing: now my living situation, which i have previously felt extremely secure about, is yet another factor in my life that serves to remind me of my own luck, of my own mortality, and of the fact that the only thing that protects me from bad shit is absolutely nothing but chance. i can now put my home in a category similar (but not nearly as unsafe and terrible) as an airplae: something that's not very safe and seems like an inherently bad idea considering what's happened to other people.
these feelings are mostly coming to me when i'm not alone, so i've been trying to be around people today. i'm concerned for myself, but not publicly, because i'm not unique; this is not only effecting me, and i realize that. there are many other people who are WAY more compromised by this situation, and if this is how i feel about my personal security, i can't imagine how THEY feel. my greatest concern is for the safety of the community.
for the first time in my entire stay at reed, i lock all of my doors, i shut my windows, and i'm really worried about leaving stuff that's worth money in my apartment. i'm worried about my wallet, my IDs, my passport- all of this is stuff that i previously have left laying around, on my desk in the library or in my unlocked room not worried about anything getting stolen, because nothing ever did.
this year has really been a not very good one. i think we can all do better next year. i don't want to move out of my apartment. i heart my reed apartment, seriously. i just want to know that the administration actually cares about me (in both the "royal me/reed student" and the "yes i'm talking about me, personally" way). and not only that they care, but that they care enough to ensure that the security in my on-campus apartment isn't a total joke.
i have been really nervous since i read the email about the "incident", i don't even know how to talk about this shit. i can't believe that something like this happened in a situation nearly identical to mine, as far as i know.
that means one thing: now my living situation, which i have previously felt extremely secure about, is yet another factor in my life that serves to remind me of my own luck, of my own mortality, and of the fact that the only thing that protects me from bad shit is absolutely nothing but chance. i can now put my home in a category similar (but not nearly as unsafe and terrible) as an airplae: something that's not very safe and seems like an inherently bad idea considering what's happened to other people.
these feelings are mostly coming to me when i'm not alone, so i've been trying to be around people today. i'm concerned for myself, but not publicly, because i'm not unique; this is not only effecting me, and i realize that. there are many other people who are WAY more compromised by this situation, and if this is how i feel about my personal security, i can't imagine how THEY feel. my greatest concern is for the safety of the community.
for the first time in my entire stay at reed, i lock all of my doors, i shut my windows, and i'm really worried about leaving stuff that's worth money in my apartment. i'm worried about my wallet, my IDs, my passport- all of this is stuff that i previously have left laying around, on my desk in the library or in my unlocked room not worried about anything getting stolen, because nothing ever did.
this year has really been a not very good one. i think we can all do better next year. i don't want to move out of my apartment. i heart my reed apartment, seriously. i just want to know that the administration actually cares about me (in both the "royal me/reed student" and the "yes i'm talking about me, personally" way). and not only that they care, but that they care enough to ensure that the security in my on-campus apartment isn't a total joke.