(no subject)
So this is the third time I'm attempting to post this entry. The first version from a few days ago was scrapped because it was really disorganized and I felt overwhelmed with the task of editing it. Also, I revealed a whole lot about what goes on in my head and I was feeling really vulnerable.
The second entry was shorter and more to the point. I still felt a bit nervous about it though since I did include some personal thoughts that I wouldn't normally include in your standard entry. But I was fine with it. And ready to post it. I left the entry in a minimized window while I went downstairs to take a phone call. I ended up falling asleep on the couch downstairs after the phone call, and my entry went un-posted overnight. I've only just returned to the computer now to finally tend to this un-posted entry. I have discovered though that my entry is gone.
My father was just here less than an hour ago, using my computer to print something on an envelope. I am both irked and disturbed that he may have not only been nosy and maximized my entry so he could read it, but he may have closed my browser window as well, causing my entry to disappear forever. Rrrr. I will have to interrogate him about this later when he returns home from the post office.
Then again...he may have thought the computer was off when he came up to use it, and probably pressed the on button a few times until he realized that my computer was originally turned on, but it was only the screen that was off.
We shall see.
So I'm pretty damn tired of writing and rewriting this entry of mine. It probably was never meant to be posted. But I'm still eager to put it out there, cause maybe someone has some good feedback for me. So I will try to sum up what I've been trying to write for the past few days in just a few sentences, cause I'm tired of writing this over and over again.
I have a crush on a guy at work. I think he might be gay. He intrigues me greatly. He's really smart (so he gets three stars in my book for that alone.) He has a very gentle and easygoing disposition. I don't think there's an ounce of aggression in his body. (He gets two stars for being the complete opposite of my father.) He's barely legal. (Another star for that.) He has a fabulous set of shoulders. (Star.) I am fascinated by his backside.
I've come close to asking him out, but have decided against it. My new goal is to just get some kind of friendship going on outside of work.
I am 85% convinced that he's gay. I used to be 95% sure. But my gaydar has been pretty off lately, so I'm hesitant to really trust it now. The more I speak to this boy the less sure I am about his being gay.
There is no way to confirm my suspicions without first having a gay man at my disposal to give me his opinion. I was reading an article in a psychology magazine recently that revealed gay men really do have the best gaydar and that they're right about their hunches something like 90% percent of the time. That figure is slightly off I'm sure, but I do not have the magazine in front of me to give you an exact quote.
*sigh*
The second entry was shorter and more to the point. I still felt a bit nervous about it though since I did include some personal thoughts that I wouldn't normally include in your standard entry. But I was fine with it. And ready to post it. I left the entry in a minimized window while I went downstairs to take a phone call. I ended up falling asleep on the couch downstairs after the phone call, and my entry went un-posted overnight. I've only just returned to the computer now to finally tend to this un-posted entry. I have discovered though that my entry is gone.
My father was just here less than an hour ago, using my computer to print something on an envelope. I am both irked and disturbed that he may have not only been nosy and maximized my entry so he could read it, but he may have closed my browser window as well, causing my entry to disappear forever. Rrrr. I will have to interrogate him about this later when he returns home from the post office.
Then again...he may have thought the computer was off when he came up to use it, and probably pressed the on button a few times until he realized that my computer was originally turned on, but it was only the screen that was off.
We shall see.
So I'm pretty damn tired of writing and rewriting this entry of mine. It probably was never meant to be posted. But I'm still eager to put it out there, cause maybe someone has some good feedback for me. So I will try to sum up what I've been trying to write for the past few days in just a few sentences, cause I'm tired of writing this over and over again.
I have a crush on a guy at work. I think he might be gay. He intrigues me greatly. He's really smart (so he gets three stars in my book for that alone.) He has a very gentle and easygoing disposition. I don't think there's an ounce of aggression in his body. (He gets two stars for being the complete opposite of my father.) He's barely legal. (Another star for that.) He has a fabulous set of shoulders. (Star.) I am fascinated by his backside.
I've come close to asking him out, but have decided against it. My new goal is to just get some kind of friendship going on outside of work.
I am 85% convinced that he's gay. I used to be 95% sure. But my gaydar has been pretty off lately, so I'm hesitant to really trust it now. The more I speak to this boy the less sure I am about his being gay.
There is no way to confirm my suspicions without first having a gay man at my disposal to give me his opinion. I was reading an article in a psychology magazine recently that revealed gay men really do have the best gaydar and that they're right about their hunches something like 90% percent of the time. That figure is slightly off I'm sure, but I do not have the magazine in front of me to give you an exact quote.
*sigh*