Well, that just happened. Yeah,...
Going to bed later than usual Monday night I was thinking I may not be able to make it to work safely. I woke when Jamie got home not long after and the dog was running about, thinking "great, still not fully asleep, definitely gonna be a rough drive".
Then came the call at about 1am.
She's in a full on, gasping mess of a panic attack. Right then I decide Tuesday was gonna be a PTO day.
Takes a while to get her calmed down, wasn't real sure what brought it on or why she called me. But then I knew why.
No matter how bad things are between us, even if we are not speaking for whatever reason, if she calls for help we will be there. Just who we are.
Also, she needed to talk to someone who would get it, or enough of it, to talk her down. So I did, and Jamie helped, and in the process she tells us to come talk to her in person so we can hash things out, but also so she's not alone.
She had a gentleman (hardly) caller earlier that evening, that turned out to be a bad experience, real bad, and that just spiraled into the panic. She's tore up because she cannot find anyone worth her time, and cannot get off due to all the stress. So Jamie explains in detail that she IS ok with us resuming the "with bennefits", and why, and what the stipulations are. So that is back on the table.
I took Jamie home to sleep for work, I returned, and we went for a drive so we could talk without distractiona for a couple hours. Worked some things out, the most important stuff anyway, still a ways to go before we are fully good again tho. I think, I hope at least, this time we will both think more about our actions/reactions. We lay down for a while, talked on & off for a couple hours, letting her enjoy not being alone with someone who wasnt trying to use her for a change, which really, she needed more than anything else (except maybe a really good orgasm). I explained that while us resuming those activities may not be the best idea, and I wouldn't lie and say I didn't *want* to because it was a hell of a lot of fun, but mostly I wanted to help my friend find a safe way to get that release she craves, and to be safe while doing it. There's only so many chances you can take before the odds catch up to you, and I would be very upset if anyone ever hurt her.
But yeah, too long with people that couldn't do the job equals a lot of denied orgasms and that nagging pressure/pain that comes with them. So, me being a helpful guy, I helped my friend out.
We spent a while after doing stuff around her apartment, and it was very relaxed, casual, like before the blowup. But I'm a realist, and I know there's still items unresolved, wounds that still sting, and even the most glorious of Orgasms cannot heal all that (helps a hell of a fucking lot, but no).
So. I'm here the next day, hoping a night of time to think about everything brough sone clarity to her world, and that I'm still part of it.