Doctor Who and the Atlanteans, 1/? [Doctor Who/SG:Atlantis]
"I'm sorry, you woke me up for /what/?"
Rodney McKay was not amused. He'd been dragged from his bed, he hadn't eaten in six hours and would surely go into hypoglycaemic shock soon, and Sheppard was mocking him.
"I just told you, Rodney, this box showed up a few minutes ago and we want to know what the heck it is."
"It's three in the morning and we're not going to die in the next
fifteen seconds and I'm awake. I'm just pointing out that I could have been preparing for our next unmitigated disaster."
"Look, whatever it was landed in engineering. Just make sure it’s not going to explode and then you can yell at some lab assistants and go back to bed, okay?"
The door wooshed open as they approached, revealing a handful of jumpy Marines who stood aside for them. More importantly, there was Zelenka, slightly ruffled, yelling at a large, blue, apparently wooden box.
Zelenka turned to the pair of them and immediately shoved a laptop in Rodney's face. "Look at this!"
“This says it’s made of wood!”
“I am aware of that!”
Rodney looked at the screen, then at the box. "That's impossible."
"It is sitting right in front of us, Rodney."
"Well - open the door!"
“We have tried that. It will not open."
“We can't have a city full of Marines and no way to open a wooden door."
John looked at said Marines. “Guys?”
Cadman was the first to respond. “Doc said he didn’t want us blowing it up, Sir. No other way to open it we can find.”
“The lock looks standard but it is not possible to even get a key in it,” Zelenka explained. “I did not want to try explosives until we had exhausted all other options.”
Rodney was about argue further, but then the door opened.
The occupant of the box had a head full of blond curls and a superior expression, but Rodney didn't spend a long time looking at his face. No, it was the coat that drew his attention: something like a cross between a bowl of fruit loops and a chameleon's wet dream. He blinked a few times, but the image didn’t go away. Damn it.
"Oh, /Marines/. Never ask them to do anything. Probably try to blow it up," the man in the alarming coat said. The Marines, true to form, had guns drawn on him the second he walked out. He took a look at the barrels and beyond that didn't seem to care much.
“Peri!” he called back into the box. “It's okay, they're military, they'll never be able to hit you!”
“Oh, Doctor, I told you this was a bad idea," said a woman's voice. The woman attached to said voice was dressed almost, but not quite, as eye-searingly as her companion, and was a lot more surprised by the guns. Rodney approved of that. It meant she had sense. On the other hand -
“Who are you and what the heck is that thing?” he blurted out.
The man gave him a look that said that although the questioner was obviously too stupid to understand the answer, the questionee would make an attempt to bring his astronomical intelligence down to the questioner’s level. Rodney had used it himself.
“I’m the Doctor, and this is Peri, and this is my TARDIS. The more apt question would be, I believe, what you are doing on Atlantis.” He straightened his lapels. “I’m sure this place isn’t supposed to still be inhabited by humans.”
“They’re human, Doctor?” Peri asked.
“Of course we’re human! What do we look like, Klingons?” Rodney snapped. The brunette looked at him and opened her mouth, but Sheppard cut that one off at the pass.
“Not helping, Rodney,” he said. He looked at their visitor and raised an eyebrow. “We’re human, and we’re here on a research mission.”
The man looked down his nose at him. “Really.”
“Yeah, that’s about it.”
“What year is this?”
“Don’t even try to tell me you’re a time traveler,” Rodney sputtered. “That’s only possible with the Stargate, which you did not come through, and there is no way that your little box - ”
“If it’s too hard a question for you, don’t answer it,” the Doctor said, turning to Sheppard.
“It’s two thousand eight, last I heard,” Sheppard said.
“That late? No wonder.” The Doctor straightened his hideously mismatched lapels, turning to his companion. “Peri, this will be a chance for you to observe my genius in action. You may want to take note of it.”
Rodney McKay was not amused. He'd been dragged from his bed, he hadn't eaten in six hours and would surely go into hypoglycaemic shock soon, and Sheppard was mocking him.
"I just told you, Rodney, this box showed up a few minutes ago and we want to know what the heck it is."
"It's three in the morning and we're not going to die in the next
fifteen seconds and I'm awake. I'm just pointing out that I could have been preparing for our next unmitigated disaster."
"Look, whatever it was landed in engineering. Just make sure it’s not going to explode and then you can yell at some lab assistants and go back to bed, okay?"
The door wooshed open as they approached, revealing a handful of jumpy Marines who stood aside for them. More importantly, there was Zelenka, slightly ruffled, yelling at a large, blue, apparently wooden box.
Zelenka turned to the pair of them and immediately shoved a laptop in Rodney's face. "Look at this!"
“This says it’s made of wood!”
“I am aware of that!”
Rodney looked at the screen, then at the box. "That's impossible."
"It is sitting right in front of us, Rodney."
"Well - open the door!"
“We have tried that. It will not open."
“We can't have a city full of Marines and no way to open a wooden door."
John looked at said Marines. “Guys?”
Cadman was the first to respond. “Doc said he didn’t want us blowing it up, Sir. No other way to open it we can find.”
“The lock looks standard but it is not possible to even get a key in it,” Zelenka explained. “I did not want to try explosives until we had exhausted all other options.”
Rodney was about argue further, but then the door opened.
The occupant of the box had a head full of blond curls and a superior expression, but Rodney didn't spend a long time looking at his face. No, it was the coat that drew his attention: something like a cross between a bowl of fruit loops and a chameleon's wet dream. He blinked a few times, but the image didn’t go away. Damn it.
"Oh, /Marines/. Never ask them to do anything. Probably try to blow it up," the man in the alarming coat said. The Marines, true to form, had guns drawn on him the second he walked out. He took a look at the barrels and beyond that didn't seem to care much.
“Peri!” he called back into the box. “It's okay, they're military, they'll never be able to hit you!”
“Oh, Doctor, I told you this was a bad idea," said a woman's voice. The woman attached to said voice was dressed almost, but not quite, as eye-searingly as her companion, and was a lot more surprised by the guns. Rodney approved of that. It meant she had sense. On the other hand -
“Who are you and what the heck is that thing?” he blurted out.
The man gave him a look that said that although the questioner was obviously too stupid to understand the answer, the questionee would make an attempt to bring his astronomical intelligence down to the questioner’s level. Rodney had used it himself.
“I’m the Doctor, and this is Peri, and this is my TARDIS. The more apt question would be, I believe, what you are doing on Atlantis.” He straightened his lapels. “I’m sure this place isn’t supposed to still be inhabited by humans.”
“They’re human, Doctor?” Peri asked.
“Of course we’re human! What do we look like, Klingons?” Rodney snapped. The brunette looked at him and opened her mouth, but Sheppard cut that one off at the pass.
“Not helping, Rodney,” he said. He looked at their visitor and raised an eyebrow. “We’re human, and we’re here on a research mission.”
The man looked down his nose at him. “Really.”
“Yeah, that’s about it.”
“What year is this?”
“Don’t even try to tell me you’re a time traveler,” Rodney sputtered. “That’s only possible with the Stargate, which you did not come through, and there is no way that your little box - ”
“If it’s too hard a question for you, don’t answer it,” the Doctor said, turning to Sheppard.
“It’s two thousand eight, last I heard,” Sheppard said.
“That late? No wonder.” The Doctor straightened his hideously mismatched lapels, turning to his companion. “Peri, this will be a chance for you to observe my genius in action. You may want to take note of it.”