happy halloween
happiest halloween everyone! i hope that you had as good of a weekend as i did! i went to a party with my brother and his... "girlfriend" on friday and then i went to 3 parties on saturday. sunday i went over to melia's and we ate at "THE BOYS!!!" that place is the best. then we went to mikeys and hung out for a little while 'till we got bored and went bowling. which was fun cuz i cant bowl for shit. the only way that i can hit ANY pins is to granny bowl backwards through my legs... it looks funny b/c i have to turn around and bend over and then throw the ball between my legs. its so great! and then someone else in the bowling alley tried to bowl like me and it didnt work so they laughed at me and i was sad. *tears* then we went back to mikey's and i helped mom hand out candy and i layed on a heating pad cuz my back is seriously fucked up and i dont know why. girrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
that story was way longer than it was supposed to be but ok.
this morning i got in a mini fight with my mom b/c shes mad at me for never being happy. how can you be mad at someone for their emotions? i don't understand how she can be MAD at me. concerned i get, but MAD?!?!?!?! its not like i WANT to be sad... or... not even sad, just not happy. i do want to be happy but i just dont know how to be.
does anyone else feel like this? like there is an over whelming emptiness that can only be filled momentarily by things that, afterward, just get you into more drama which leads to more unhappiness and, no matter what, theres ALWAYS that one empty void in your life. that one thing that keeps you from being truely happy. its like my life is a car wheel and things build up and i'm to the point where i'm ALMOST happy, i'm ALMOST at the top... and then i can only go so far without coming back down again. i can never reach higher than that one point and that one point is NOT where i want to be. and lately it seems like its been a never ending spiral downward into a lower and lower pit of emptiness and depression. do you ever feel that way too? maybe i'm just crazy.
i think i'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled this week or next. and i'm going to go to the doctor to check out my back... rawr... i dont know
ich liebe dich- mary
that story was way longer than it was supposed to be but ok.
this morning i got in a mini fight with my mom b/c shes mad at me for never being happy. how can you be mad at someone for their emotions? i don't understand how she can be MAD at me. concerned i get, but MAD?!?!?!?! its not like i WANT to be sad... or... not even sad, just not happy. i do want to be happy but i just dont know how to be.
does anyone else feel like this? like there is an over whelming emptiness that can only be filled momentarily by things that, afterward, just get you into more drama which leads to more unhappiness and, no matter what, theres ALWAYS that one empty void in your life. that one thing that keeps you from being truely happy. its like my life is a car wheel and things build up and i'm to the point where i'm ALMOST happy, i'm ALMOST at the top... and then i can only go so far without coming back down again. i can never reach higher than that one point and that one point is NOT where i want to be. and lately it seems like its been a never ending spiral downward into a lower and lower pit of emptiness and depression. do you ever feel that way too? maybe i'm just crazy.
i think i'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled this week or next. and i'm going to go to the doctor to check out my back... rawr... i dont know
ich liebe dich- mary