Creative Frustrations
I commissioned an artist on the Web to sketch and color some of the characters I've come up with, after all these years. Many of you know I have almost nothing to show for my work, save a rough character sheet, a few e-mails, and various scribblings. That content, or lack of it, isn't the issue here. I was lying awake in bed one night recently and I started to think about why I haven't done any substantial work on a story, or fleshed out my characters more. My characters have a rough image but they lack substance.
I've had conversations with some of you about how most of my characters' quirks and personality traits are borrowed from other fictional characters and people I know. The answer we've often reached is that in this day and age, nearly everything fictional is borrowed from something that's already been done. How do successful authors write such wonderful stories, then?
I just have to think there are authors out there like me who borrow ideas to support the bulk of their work. There's something admirable there, in that a person can take something and put their own distinctive spin on it while maintaining the integrity of the original idea. Still, I feel a bit dirty for not relying on my own ideas to communicate my thoughts. I like to think there's some person out there, in the past or present, who has articulated the same ideas I want to put on paper. When I think about this, I hit a wall.
I've always had an appreciation for the written word. I believe a great author demonstrates an extensive knowledge of world experiences and the use of engaging and descriptive language. I like to think I have the potential to be one of those great authors. That's part of what drives me to write.
When I've read a great book, I become full of story ideas. But they all revolve around manipulating the same ideas and writing style the book's author used. I've thought more than once that I can weave in these varying themes without anyone being wise to it. I've come to realize that eventually someone will happen along with the set of information or ideas to expose my emulated work as a farce. There will always be critics.
I have never taken criticism well. What's more, if I look at my writing and think anyone could find fault with it, then I'm not satisfied. This is the root of the supposed writer's block that I've had for so long. Simply translated, fear keeps me from writing anything meaningful.
I borrow ideas from everything, and it provides a sort of comforting cloak for me. It keeps me free from criticism of my own personal ideas -- since I offer none -- and consequently free from a sense of accomplishment that comes with writing any original ideas. It reminds me of a quote from Master Billy Quiz-Boy in an episode of The Venture Bros.: "You've come to steal our ideas! You've been foiled; we have none!"
Lately I've been coming to terms with how little I've accomplished over the years with my characters. I don't hate what I've created, but I have a sense of disappointment with them which wasn't there before. I've been thinking about writing a story that shapes the characters, rather than characters that shape the story. I still think I should keep in mind the importance of the story and the characters to each other. I've been thinking I should "write for myself," as the saying goes, instead of writing for the reader.
I also need to think about why I want to write. What immediately comes to mind is that I want people to remember me for it. I want to offer my ideas to the world. I view myself as another anonymous member of humanity, yet I think my minority viewpoint could offer a creative, alternative voice. I'm still struggling against the same demons I always have -- it's just that I've changed the words I use to describe them. The only idea that makes sense for me right now is that as a human being, I have a strange compulsion to write.
I've had conversations with some of you about how most of my characters' quirks and personality traits are borrowed from other fictional characters and people I know. The answer we've often reached is that in this day and age, nearly everything fictional is borrowed from something that's already been done. How do successful authors write such wonderful stories, then?
I just have to think there are authors out there like me who borrow ideas to support the bulk of their work. There's something admirable there, in that a person can take something and put their own distinctive spin on it while maintaining the integrity of the original idea. Still, I feel a bit dirty for not relying on my own ideas to communicate my thoughts. I like to think there's some person out there, in the past or present, who has articulated the same ideas I want to put on paper. When I think about this, I hit a wall.
I've always had an appreciation for the written word. I believe a great author demonstrates an extensive knowledge of world experiences and the use of engaging and descriptive language. I like to think I have the potential to be one of those great authors. That's part of what drives me to write.
When I've read a great book, I become full of story ideas. But they all revolve around manipulating the same ideas and writing style the book's author used. I've thought more than once that I can weave in these varying themes without anyone being wise to it. I've come to realize that eventually someone will happen along with the set of information or ideas to expose my emulated work as a farce. There will always be critics.
I have never taken criticism well. What's more, if I look at my writing and think anyone could find fault with it, then I'm not satisfied. This is the root of the supposed writer's block that I've had for so long. Simply translated, fear keeps me from writing anything meaningful.
I borrow ideas from everything, and it provides a sort of comforting cloak for me. It keeps me free from criticism of my own personal ideas -- since I offer none -- and consequently free from a sense of accomplishment that comes with writing any original ideas. It reminds me of a quote from Master Billy Quiz-Boy in an episode of The Venture Bros.: "You've come to steal our ideas! You've been foiled; we have none!"
Lately I've been coming to terms with how little I've accomplished over the years with my characters. I don't hate what I've created, but I have a sense of disappointment with them which wasn't there before. I've been thinking about writing a story that shapes the characters, rather than characters that shape the story. I still think I should keep in mind the importance of the story and the characters to each other. I've been thinking I should "write for myself," as the saying goes, instead of writing for the reader.
I also need to think about why I want to write. What immediately comes to mind is that I want people to remember me for it. I want to offer my ideas to the world. I view myself as another anonymous member of humanity, yet I think my minority viewpoint could offer a creative, alternative voice. I'm still struggling against the same demons I always have -- it's just that I've changed the words I use to describe them. The only idea that makes sense for me right now is that as a human being, I have a strange compulsion to write.