Letters and Wind Chimes [kyuhae]
Letters and Wind Chimes // super junior: kyuhae, kyumin, hyukhae // au, angst // g // Sometimes it takes five years worth of letters and a sound of wind chimes to open your eyes.
You hide behind smiles and false pretenses but you can’t change anything because he’s already knocked down your defenses. How long has it been? One year, two? And with each passing letter it seems like your wish won’t come true. You know he doesn’t love you; it’s obvious, it’s true. But that doesn’t stop you from feeling blue every time you see his face brighten; your chest tightens. How long has it been? Five years, six? And after many attempts, nothing clicks. You had to leave one day, with no hopes to stay, because it’s not like he would have loved you back anyway. “Why don’t you reply,” You choke as you cry. He doesn’t ever answer your notes but you just pretend he’s busy; too busy to acknowledge your quotes. And then without your vote, your parents tell you, you’re moving back.
“Donghae, I’ve missed you. It’s been such a long year.”
“Same here Kyuhyun.” But he doesn’t look sincere.
“How are things going with you and Hyukjae?”
“It’s okay, but it never seems to go my way.”
“So, Donghae, how have you been?” His phone rings.
“Oh, hold on, it’s him.”
You scowl in anger. It was always Hyukjae Hyukjae Hyukjae. You hated how his emotions were always on display. And you wonder how you two were ever friends; right now, to you, his behavior offends. Because you can see it in his eyes, he threw your letters away. But was it soon after or did he wait a few days? You don’t question him; you know he won’t say. That was something that right now, you hated about Donghae.
“I’m sorry Kyuhyun. I need to go.”
He kisses you one the cheek and you can’t help but think that was just so low. He runs off to Hyukjae; or no? There was a possibility it was Kibum. Hae seemed to attract him too. Now he was in the same boat as you.
You smile as he waves although it hurts. You run to find Sungmin; with your hot tears one day you’ll ruin one of his shirts. Sungmin is always there for you now. With open arms and welcome hugs and you wonder how. How does he always known when you’re up or down? It’s like he can sense your pain without you making a sound. And your grateful to have him as your savior and that he always puts up with your heartbroken behavior. At times you wish Sungmin was your love but it was no decided by the heavens above. In life you were meant to chase after someone you couldn’t get but you bet life wouldn’t be better if you two hadn’t met.
“Kyuhyun. It hurts to see you like this.”
“I know Sungmin. It hurts to be like this.”
“I can make it feel better. Where do you want me to kiss?”
Happiness overflows as you leave Sungmin’s place but you can obviously see the pain across his face. You don’t want him to pity you but you know there is nothing you can do. This situation is one you cannot fix. After a long walk you arrive at six. Something feels off as you step up to the door. You pray that it’s nothing because you can’t take anymore.
The silence of your home calms your nerves. You think it’s the stress that’s making you mind take crazy curves. With a deep breath, you march to your room. But as you collapse on your bed you don’t notice the shadow that looms. You’re close to dreamland when you hear a sob. Immediately jumping up, you see a head bob.
“Donghae, what are you doing here.”
“Can you not tell? I think it’s very clear.”
You blink. Why was he being mean?
“Kyu, are you not all that keen?”
He’s draining all your joy from Sungmin.
“Is something wrong with Hyukjae?”
“Shut up. You can say anything, but not that name.”
“He still doesn’t know that I feel this way.”
“Donghae, why don’t you try to find someone different elsewhere?”
“I can’t love anyone else Kyuhyun, so get out of my hair.”
“But you’re the one who came to me.”
“Because we have to define our relationship, don’t we?”
“Donghae…”
“I’ve seen the ‘in love’ look you give me when you look my way.”
“Wait…”
“And I’m sorry Kyuhyun, but you know I don’t feel the same.”
“Then could you please stop playing me like I’m a game.”
“What -?”
“The kisses, the touches, the hugs, the winks.”
“Kyuhyun, I’m like that with everyone. How could you think -?”
“WHAT PART OF ‘I LOVE YOU’ DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND?”
“The ‘you’ part. When did all of this begin?”
“Five years ago and you still don’t see.”
“Look, Kyuhyun. I’m really sorry.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
You knew it was going to happen eventually. But you didn’t think it would make you feel so lonely. You don’t think Sungmin will be able to help this time and the tears start again as the air blows wind chimes. It’s a sad sound but it seems to fit you. You have nothing now so what do you do?
The ink on the letters will never fad. And maybe after a while feelings for someone else will invade.
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I don't know how well it turned out but I hope it's okay. Even though some of the sentences don't fit, I still like it. I'll probably post Kibum's side either the day after tomorrow or the day after that. Hope you enjoyed it.
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