J'ai beau essayer de comprendre la vie; j'ai beau essayer de me comprendre
hmm..meh..the dance: for me at least it was not a good night, and it order to explain sortof what it was like I explain another night that reminds me of this. I had gone to the movies to see Napoleon Dynamite, and this is probably why had I such a negetative opinon of the movie. Not because the movie itself was bad or anything, but because of the events of that night there was no way in which I could have appreciated the sillyness of that movie. I can just remember how it just dragged on and on and how the laughter of the rest of the audience seem to hurt even more. and I can remember the car ride home; it was one of those rides when you're the only car on the road and it was quite dark and you're sitting in the back corner of the car and everyone else is talking, but you just sortof block that out while looking out the window..and for me those rides are always the most depressing and I can remember trying in vain to hold back tears, but ironically noone noticed. Now granted tonight was depressing for a completely different reason and im not going to say exactly why because I'd probably get yelled at for it, but all I'll say is that reason sortof initiated a lot of other things, basically a lot of bad, old memories
I've become to realize that noone really does know me. I mean when the person who I'd say knows me the most thinks that I'm not an emotional person at all, I begin to wonder. But I guess that's sortof what life has done to me; made me keep things to myself, make me hesitant to tell others. As much as I'd like someone to understand me, I think that maybe noone ever will, and yet I have a feeling that there is someone who can just understand me, understand my perspective on life without knowing me that well.
meh. so auditions were friday. I did alright but I don't think I got in. I mean mrs. leingener doesn't think I'm a good dancer because she's knows that I just started in ninth grade basically,and so she thinks I really don't know what Im doing..which is for the most part true. But even though it would mean a lot to me to get in, I think the fact that I'm taking classes sortof makes it alright. I mean the classes will give me a chance to dance at an advanced level (or at least try for that matter).
I've become to realize that noone really does know me. I mean when the person who I'd say knows me the most thinks that I'm not an emotional person at all, I begin to wonder. But I guess that's sortof what life has done to me; made me keep things to myself, make me hesitant to tell others. As much as I'd like someone to understand me, I think that maybe noone ever will, and yet I have a feeling that there is someone who can just understand me, understand my perspective on life without knowing me that well.
meh. so auditions were friday. I did alright but I don't think I got in. I mean mrs. leingener doesn't think I'm a good dancer because she's knows that I just started in ninth grade basically,and so she thinks I really don't know what Im doing..which is for the most part true. But even though it would mean a lot to me to get in, I think the fact that I'm taking classes sortof makes it alright. I mean the classes will give me a chance to dance at an advanced level (or at least try for that matter).