I wonder...
Who's reading this? Who usually reads my LJ entries ? I know this sounds very self-centred...but as I said once, LJ is a kind of mirror. But I promise, I'll try not to be a diva much...
Actually it's
frances_lievens ' survey about her 2 years anniversary and my own "the real me" post that made me think of my silent readers/lurkers and of my reading list.
And I can't really decide whether this LJ is ill ou bien portant.
First, the symptoms.
Based on the comments that are left in here, whether the posts are flocked or not, there are only few people from my flist, always the same, who seem to read my entries.
I'm quite aware that LJ people (from my flist or not) can read entries and still not leave comments, for different reasons by the way, but at the end of the day it's like they are ghosts that I never see so they might not be there as well.
Secondly, an attempt to diagnose.
I am not complaining, simply wondering about the nature of LJ again. I didn't mean my LJ to be a club of selected people ( "happy few" or "band of buggered"), because there are other ways like filters or chats and emails to connect to my closest Internet friends, but looks like it's slowly becoming one. So I wonder if some people feel outcast now like outsiders who should not intrude by leaving comments, or are too shy to do it or simply decided to stop reading it at some point...
I have 68 people on my flist and I confess that I don't read everything, and even when I do, I don't leave comments all the times. So I can imagine what it is for those who have either little time or a huge flist. But I'm pretty sure that I have commented , if not regularly, at least several times, on every LJ from that list. It's like calling people on the phone from time to time to say hi, it's like smiling to strangers in the street. And interactions suppose a bit of reciprocity sometimes.
I like social interactions and discussions, and I guess I still regret that LJ is not a forum. Mea Culpa, maxima mea...
LJ is paradoxically a small world so I know very well that some of those ghosts from my flist do "materialize" elsewhere, showing up on other blogs (I sound like a staker here don't I?). Of course they simply could be not interested in what I post here, which is something I totally understand. Sometimes I even wonder if I would read myself !
But in regard to those who regularly post on LJ and have me in their reading list for a while but never comment, I really wonder why they keep me there. Why bothers?
If they have a huge flist and simply friended me back to be polite because I friended them first, they should feel free to defriend me, I don't want to be like a constant spam on their friends page and I wouldn 't be upset if they defriended me, honest (except Trekker because I begged her to friend me in order to get my Githan fix!). They may have made a mistake by friending me, or we have drifted apart. It happens, it's what makes us human.
Ok maybe they think that I still have potential and might post something interesting/worth commenting someday and are waiting for that miracle post ! :- )
But is there a treatment? Do I want one? Damn I screwed up my own analogy!
Please note that against all appearances, I'm not trying to make people de-friend me (because I would be punishing myself for a few LJ went friends-only and being friended is the only way to read some insightful posts or great fictions ) or to make them feel guilty for not commenting, I'm just trying to analyze my LJ situation and to dissect LJ land with that analytical mind of mine.
Anyway it's probably only my LJ regulars who will see this so they won't feel they are being got at ! But they can give me their insights on the matter still. Yes they can!
And if the ghosts from my flist or the lurkers see this, well I hope it won't scare them away! Sometimes words must be spoken to break the ice or dispel misunderstandings or make things...clean.
Waiting for mass defriending now....
If you're still reading, since we're in an introspective mode, here's a poll inspired by Proust's questionnaire, that
jamalov29 posted a few days ago and that I answered in her flocked entry. I hope she doesn't mind my stealing it. Feel free to answer it here, it's time for you to de-lurk. I'd really like to know who your fabourite authors are....
Your favourite virtue : generosity
Your favourite qualities in a man : self-confidence, sense of humour, passion, intelligence.
Your favourite qualities in a woman : the same plus dignity and sweetness
Favourite qualities in friends : loyalty, constancy, empathy
Main flaw : stubborn.
Favourite occupation : reading.
Idea of happiness : I don't believe in a constant state of happiness. For me happiness lies in moments, some can be very simple and quiet, others can be grand and filled with joy.
Idea of misery : the death of loved ones.
If not yourself , who would you be? Either a medieval monk or a revolutionary.
Favourite authors (prose ) : Jorge Luis Borges, Proust, Gide, Alejo Carpentier, Dan Simmons.
Favourite authors (poetry) : Jorges Luis Borges, Virgil, Baudelaire, Musset, Poe, Shakespeare.
Favourite heroes in fiction : Don Quixote, Paul Atreides, Spike, Kurt Wallander.
How would you like to die : with my eyes wide open.
Present state of mind : contemplative.
For what flaw have you most understanding : impatience.
Favourite motto : carpe diem but don't harm anyone while doing it.
ETA: The point wasn't to make anyone try to justify themselves for not commenting enough. I don't blame anyone and as I said I totally understand that they can't comment on every post they read since I don't myself. I was just trying to analyze the way things work on LJ through my own window and thus poking my possible readers to know who they were, if they were there still, especially the lurkers who aren't on my flist but might be there nonethless, and the the ones from my flist who had never commented or who hadn't commented for months.