(no subject)
At this point, I have eaten so much fruit that it will be amazing if the force of my crapping does not expel my intestines. Yesterday, eager to get the jump on my sister, I took it upon myself to eat ALL of the blackberries. About 30-40 blackberries later, I was raring to eat the little moisture pad at the bottom of the carton. I took a violent pass through the kitchen and seized a bowl of strawberries.
"No one eats strawberries in this house, right?" I asked, attempting to absolve myself of guilt for what I was about to do. "Right?" I asked again. Everyone was outside and couldn't hear me, so I decided to take that as a yes. I consumed about 15 strawberries.
For breakfast, my mother made fruit salad (cantelope, peaches, watermelon, grapes, oranges), which I washed down with fruit juice (Dole Orange Peach Mango). The day continued in this horrible vein with pluots, dates, and more fruit salad until I made a crass joke to my uncle about shitting my brains out. Suddenly, my viscera clenched quite tellingly.
Beyond eschewing my digestive health in favor of fruit, life is pretty goddamn boring. I am currently in summer school. My internship ends tomorrow and I still don't have one job offer, though I'm waiting to hear back from several places. My mother is going in for hand surgery on Thursday. Amelia is slightly less gothic. And finally, Scott and I are doing all right, as all right goes. Our current hurdle (or perhaps my current hurdle) is friends. All of Scott's friends hate me and all of my friends hate him. This is because we don't make things easy for each other. This is because we complain about each other constantly and in great quantity to our friends. Thinking about it, and my mother's possible amputation, is making me sick. So I'm going to leave it all at that.
"No one eats strawberries in this house, right?" I asked, attempting to absolve myself of guilt for what I was about to do. "Right?" I asked again. Everyone was outside and couldn't hear me, so I decided to take that as a yes. I consumed about 15 strawberries.
For breakfast, my mother made fruit salad (cantelope, peaches, watermelon, grapes, oranges), which I washed down with fruit juice (Dole Orange Peach Mango). The day continued in this horrible vein with pluots, dates, and more fruit salad until I made a crass joke to my uncle about shitting my brains out. Suddenly, my viscera clenched quite tellingly.
Beyond eschewing my digestive health in favor of fruit, life is pretty goddamn boring. I am currently in summer school. My internship ends tomorrow and I still don't have one job offer, though I'm waiting to hear back from several places. My mother is going in for hand surgery on Thursday. Amelia is slightly less gothic. And finally, Scott and I are doing all right, as all right goes. Our current hurdle (or perhaps my current hurdle) is friends. All of Scott's friends hate me and all of my friends hate him. This is because we don't make things easy for each other. This is because we complain about each other constantly and in great quantity to our friends. Thinking about it, and my mother's possible amputation, is making me sick. So I'm going to leave it all at that.