(no subject)
I've been out of school for around five weeks now and I can't wait to go back tomorrow. I know this seems impossible, but I think I have actually run out of shit to look at on the internet. Things that used to bring me joy, like actually being home to catch Scrubs at 7:00 in the evenings, are now mundane, run-of-the-mill occurences that are boring.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that this could be the rest of my life: I could get promoted at my nowhere-job and make enough to pay the bills without really thinking about it. No more extraneous thought or preparation, just get there at 8 am sharp. I could dedicate my spare time to becoming a cleaner person. But for some reason, I am saddled with the enormous burden of "motivation".
Motivation says that I will not be happy until I am working in a job that requires all of my attention and spare time and makes me worry constantly. Motivation has doubled my major. Motivation is causing me to look for summer research programs so that this awful lethargy doesn't set in again in a few months.
Fuck.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that this could be the rest of my life: I could get promoted at my nowhere-job and make enough to pay the bills without really thinking about it. No more extraneous thought or preparation, just get there at 8 am sharp. I could dedicate my spare time to becoming a cleaner person. But for some reason, I am saddled with the enormous burden of "motivation".
Motivation says that I will not be happy until I am working in a job that requires all of my attention and spare time and makes me worry constantly. Motivation has doubled my major. Motivation is causing me to look for summer research programs so that this awful lethargy doesn't set in again in a few months.
Fuck.