The Most Important Post Ever- AKA-The list of observations
Brokeback Mountain- I have little interest in seeing this movie. I have no problem with it's portrayal of gay cowboys, but from what I understand, they aren't even real Cowboys. There aren't any gunfights in Brokeback Mountain or train robberies or even whitty saloon banter. Why would i go see a cowboy movie that not only has no gunslinging, but is also directed by the man who destroyed the pristine image of the Hulk, director Ang Lee. Honestly, Cowboys are fucking awesome, and Ang Lee has created a film that misportrays both Gay and Straight cowboys. Cowboys kill people at least once per movie, and have at least one exciting train robbery scene. FUCK YOU ANG LEE and those two people who decided to write a Cowboy story with nothing interesting in it.
P.S. Brokeback Mountain also sucks because it's taking attention away from the real best movie of the year, Batman Begins. FUCK YOU ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURE ARTS AND SCIENCES, you tried to trick us into thinking you were cool by giving Lord of the Rings: Return of the King some awards, but you've gone and fucked up again.
Hulk Hogan- Do not fuck with the Hulkster. Even if you kick his ass all match, at some point he will be energized by the fans, and be entirely immune to your assault, if you use a foreign object it will have no effect. Hulk Hogan only loses when he wants some other guy to be popular, because Hulk Hogan is tired of being the most adored man on the earth. Hulk Hogan is the only person who can kick Chuck Norris' ass.
Kyle Rayner- Kyle Rayner is the Green Lantern I grew up with, and i am interested to see how he behaves now that he is like, half-Jade or something,and not a Green Lantern.
Hostel- I liked Hostel, and have discovered that essentially two groups do not like Hostel a) Annoying wannabe frat boys who think they could handle a movie like Audition, but would really puss out half-way through and fake dissapointment and b) cool people who have seen auditon and wanted an american version of it. I sympathize with group b), but i still think the film has merit as a commentary on the American slasher film.
X3- IS GOING TO FUCKING SUCK! DON'T BE EXCITED! ITS GOING TO FUCKING SUCK!
Superman Returns- C'mon! It's Superman, directed by Bryan Singer, a man who has never made a bad movie!! It's gonna rule, and if it dosen't I will cry until the next Batman movie comes out.
The Joker-The Joker did not kill Batman's parents, was not a gangster and he is not 50 years old. So please stop saying that Nicholson is the best Joker ever. Nicholson was awesome, but he just played Tim Burton's version of the Joker, which much like Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, is fun, but ultimately inferior to the real version. If you would like to see the real Joker, please buy Batman:The Animated Series vol.1-4 and Batman:The Killing Joke. If you are lazy, wait until 2008 when Goyer and Nolan's next Batman movie comes out and shows those assholes who fucked up Sam Hamm's original Batman screenplay why they suck.
Gwen Stefani- What the fuck happened Gwen, you were so hot,and you were in a Ska band, and now you are a whore. Yeah, I said it, i have to tolerate her stupid fucking vidoes inbetween every other episode of Degrassi, and it's really pissing me off. that Bananananana song was ok, but jesus, enough is enough Gwen.
Degrassi- If you don't watch Degrassi, and you have access to it, you are wrong. Are you racist against Canadians or something? Do you not like post-adolescent Melodrama? Have you never seen the wonder that is Miss Cassie Steele? Watch Degrassi, because once we all watch it, peace will reign over the Earth.
Coldplay-Oh im douchebag,and I play piano and I married a beautiful actress and named my kid Apple. I dont know the guy from Coldplay's name,and i don't care. I hope people forget them soon.
Linkin Park-What? You Listen to Linkin Park? What? Numb is like it was written for you? Well, you are right, Numb was written for you. You see Linkin Park fakes emotion to pull in unsuspecting consumers who love things that seem to be profound. Go listen to The Who, because they project emotion through honesty and, I know this may shock Linkin Park fans, MUSICAL TALENT.
Chasing Amy- Watch it again, you may appreciate it in a different way now.
Death Cab for Cutie and The Grammys- They have officially proven that its not how good a reord is that get it nominated for a Grammy, but distribution numbers. Death Cab's latest album (whether you consider this a good thing or not) sounds pretty much like the rest of the catalogue, but now because of its major label status, gets a grammy nod. I guess any organization who gives Evanescense a musical acheivement award should be expected to be so stupid though.
The End?-Fuck no, this was really fun, im sure there will be another sectioned rant in the near future.
P.S. Brokeback Mountain also sucks because it's taking attention away from the real best movie of the year, Batman Begins. FUCK YOU ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURE ARTS AND SCIENCES, you tried to trick us into thinking you were cool by giving Lord of the Rings: Return of the King some awards, but you've gone and fucked up again.
Hulk Hogan- Do not fuck with the Hulkster. Even if you kick his ass all match, at some point he will be energized by the fans, and be entirely immune to your assault, if you use a foreign object it will have no effect. Hulk Hogan only loses when he wants some other guy to be popular, because Hulk Hogan is tired of being the most adored man on the earth. Hulk Hogan is the only person who can kick Chuck Norris' ass.
Kyle Rayner- Kyle Rayner is the Green Lantern I grew up with, and i am interested to see how he behaves now that he is like, half-Jade or something,and not a Green Lantern.
Hostel- I liked Hostel, and have discovered that essentially two groups do not like Hostel a) Annoying wannabe frat boys who think they could handle a movie like Audition, but would really puss out half-way through and fake dissapointment and b) cool people who have seen auditon and wanted an american version of it. I sympathize with group b), but i still think the film has merit as a commentary on the American slasher film.
X3- IS GOING TO FUCKING SUCK! DON'T BE EXCITED! ITS GOING TO FUCKING SUCK!
Superman Returns- C'mon! It's Superman, directed by Bryan Singer, a man who has never made a bad movie!! It's gonna rule, and if it dosen't I will cry until the next Batman movie comes out.
The Joker-The Joker did not kill Batman's parents, was not a gangster and he is not 50 years old. So please stop saying that Nicholson is the best Joker ever. Nicholson was awesome, but he just played Tim Burton's version of the Joker, which much like Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, is fun, but ultimately inferior to the real version. If you would like to see the real Joker, please buy Batman:The Animated Series vol.1-4 and Batman:The Killing Joke. If you are lazy, wait until 2008 when Goyer and Nolan's next Batman movie comes out and shows those assholes who fucked up Sam Hamm's original Batman screenplay why they suck.
Gwen Stefani- What the fuck happened Gwen, you were so hot,and you were in a Ska band, and now you are a whore. Yeah, I said it, i have to tolerate her stupid fucking vidoes inbetween every other episode of Degrassi, and it's really pissing me off. that Bananananana song was ok, but jesus, enough is enough Gwen.
Degrassi- If you don't watch Degrassi, and you have access to it, you are wrong. Are you racist against Canadians or something? Do you not like post-adolescent Melodrama? Have you never seen the wonder that is Miss Cassie Steele? Watch Degrassi, because once we all watch it, peace will reign over the Earth.
Coldplay-Oh im douchebag,and I play piano and I married a beautiful actress and named my kid Apple. I dont know the guy from Coldplay's name,and i don't care. I hope people forget them soon.
Linkin Park-What? You Listen to Linkin Park? What? Numb is like it was written for you? Well, you are right, Numb was written for you. You see Linkin Park fakes emotion to pull in unsuspecting consumers who love things that seem to be profound. Go listen to The Who, because they project emotion through honesty and, I know this may shock Linkin Park fans, MUSICAL TALENT.
Chasing Amy- Watch it again, you may appreciate it in a different way now.
Death Cab for Cutie and The Grammys- They have officially proven that its not how good a reord is that get it nominated for a Grammy, but distribution numbers. Death Cab's latest album (whether you consider this a good thing or not) sounds pretty much like the rest of the catalogue, but now because of its major label status, gets a grammy nod. I guess any organization who gives Evanescense a musical acheivement award should be expected to be so stupid though.
The End?-Fuck no, this was really fun, im sure there will be another sectioned rant in the near future.