An open letter to the producers and director of Aeon Flux....
Dear Hollywood types,
This hopeful missive comes to you straight from the hot little keyboard of a girl who idolizes the heroine on which the main character of your movie is based. I have every episode on tape (still IN the holographic silver slipcover) and I am just old enough to remember the cartoon from its Liquid Television days on MTV.
The original Aeon Flux was a masterpiece, the cunningly crafted brainchild of a crazy brilliant bastard named Peter Chung. Now, as Mr. Chung seems to have put his seal of approval on this potential clusterfuck thus far, I'll give it a shot by going to risk $8.00 of my hard-earned cheese on opening night.
I'm a little disappointed by some of the aesthetic differences that I've seen so far between the cartoon and the film. Charlize's hair ain't bad by a longshot, but I miss the signature Aeon drag-queen loop-de-loops from hell. (See pic beneath). I can overlook the absence of Aeon's... well, absence of costume coverage from the cartoon. I don't think the general movie-going public is quite prepared to see Mrs. Keanu-from-The Devil's Advocate in such a getup. Nor would they be able to look past it.
So far, I'm cautiously hopeful.
However, so help me God, if you fuck this up and smear the holy names of Aeon Flux and Peter Chung in the name of bigger profits, I will personally hunt down Miss Theron and rend her in such a way that she will permanently resemble her role as Aileen Wuornos from Monster, crossed with a burn victim coated in Cthulhu excrement.
It's nothing personal, Charlize. I think you're a lovely woman and a fine actress. (As Monster proved to me, upon rental.) You apparently studied your ass off with Cirque Du Soleil acrobats for this role, and even ended up pushing yourself to injury during the filming. Bless you, as the role deserves nothing less, and I suspect you're aware of that.
Just know this, America's Sweetheart (by way of South Africa): You fuck with the rabid-fans' bull, they'll be wanting you to get the horns, straight up not only your ass, but your honey Stuart Townsend's as well.*
Yes, you are but a cog in the Hollywood machine, and not to be held entirely responsible for the potential soiling of the subject matter, should this movie suck. The thing is, you're officially the primary symbol of this movie, and symbols mean something, goddamn it.
Namaste,
loli_tschai
*Mostly just as an excuse to see Stuart Townsend's ass.
This hopeful missive comes to you straight from the hot little keyboard of a girl who idolizes the heroine on which the main character of your movie is based. I have every episode on tape (still IN the holographic silver slipcover) and I am just old enough to remember the cartoon from its Liquid Television days on MTV.
The original Aeon Flux was a masterpiece, the cunningly crafted brainchild of a crazy brilliant bastard named Peter Chung. Now, as Mr. Chung seems to have put his seal of approval on this potential clusterfuck thus far, I'll give it a shot by going to risk $8.00 of my hard-earned cheese on opening night.
I'm a little disappointed by some of the aesthetic differences that I've seen so far between the cartoon and the film. Charlize's hair ain't bad by a longshot, but I miss the signature Aeon drag-queen loop-de-loops from hell. (See pic beneath). I can overlook the absence of Aeon's... well, absence of costume coverage from the cartoon. I don't think the general movie-going public is quite prepared to see Mrs. Keanu-from-The Devil's Advocate in such a getup. Nor would they be able to look past it.
So far, I'm cautiously hopeful.
However, so help me God, if you fuck this up and smear the holy names of Aeon Flux and Peter Chung in the name of bigger profits, I will personally hunt down Miss Theron and rend her in such a way that she will permanently resemble her role as Aileen Wuornos from Monster, crossed with a burn victim coated in Cthulhu excrement.
It's nothing personal, Charlize. I think you're a lovely woman and a fine actress. (As Monster proved to me, upon rental.) You apparently studied your ass off with Cirque Du Soleil acrobats for this role, and even ended up pushing yourself to injury during the filming. Bless you, as the role deserves nothing less, and I suspect you're aware of that.
Just know this, America's Sweetheart (by way of South Africa): You fuck with the rabid-fans' bull, they'll be wanting you to get the horns, straight up not only your ass, but your honey Stuart Townsend's as well.*
Yes, you are but a cog in the Hollywood machine, and not to be held entirely responsible for the potential soiling of the subject matter, should this movie suck. The thing is, you're officially the primary symbol of this movie, and symbols mean something, goddamn it.
Namaste,
loli_tschai
*Mostly just as an excuse to see Stuart Townsend's ass.