my mom says im growing up

[freetoleave]

and i've noticed it too
im 19 now and its scary
i've made manny big decisions lately
it's given me a stomache ache for the past three days
or maybe thats just the hangover




i can feel my life coming together and im anxious
im still impatient
however
if you knew me before, you really dont know me at all now

i applied at banks. i want to do mortage/loans.
i want a real job with steady hours and pay, not retail.

i like a boy man, not for his looks but his heart.
first crush ive had in four months.
he kissed me at midnight on my birthday.
im freaking out at the thought if it acutally working out.
such a thing like that doesn't happen to me anymore.

i have great people in my life.
i've been drunk the past two weekends, im a hypicrite, but now i know.
i told someone last night that i loved one person
in this world, besides the love instilled at birth inside of me
for my mom, and thats Sheridan Perrin.
i wanted to cry.

things are changing.
im happy, scared, anxious, and worried.
i know in a few weeks things will be settled, and with it so will my stomache.
when that time comes, i will be the happiest girl ever. AGAIN!