Live for the Moment
OK, I admit it, there are things about Drew I really miss. The big one is routine/predictability/stability, particularly socially. But I have come to realize and accept that there is no such thing as a perfect school. No matter where I go there will be things that I love, and things that really bother me. I should have expected that in transferring to a new school, no matter what school that is, there are always gonna be things that I like a lot better, and things that I dont like as much. Bennington is where I need to be right now. It is where I belong. I feel it in my heart. Besides which, Drew is not the same place anymore. I felt it changing in the last few months I was there in the Spring, and a recent visit to Drew confirmed that it only continued to change. That was actually one of the reasons I decided to transfer. I am not missing Drew, not really. I am missing Drew the way it used to be, I am missing a certain point in my life that I can never get back no matter what (not unless somebody invents a time machine and decides to lend it to me). I have changed a lot too, only not in the same direction that Drew has changed. In fact, rather the opposite. I think I said it best in an entry I wrote over the summer: "It seems like I have grown apart from Drew, like the part of me that was perfect for Drew is no longer as much a part of me. Kind of like Drew is an old pair of pants that once fit perfectly but now are too small."
It is 2006 now, soon to be 2007. I am a 2nd semester sophomore soon to be junior, and I am a Benninton student. It is NOT 2005, I am not a 2nd semester freshman, and I am not a Drew student anymore. I need to stop living in the past and fully enjoy the present. I need to stop being such a whiny brat and be happy for the things that are really good in my life (and there are plenty of those to be happy about). College is fantastic, and it does not last forever. If I dwell on the things that are wrong in my life (which will always be there because nobody has a perfect life, and that is probably for the better because people grow through inperfection), if I dwell on those things now and take the good things for granted, I am SOO gonna regret it in a few years when I graduate. So yeah, smile! = )
I think my biggest problem is I am afraid of change, and I am horrible in dealing with it. I get used to a certain way of life, and even if I am not happy in that way of life, even if I am completely miserable, I want things to stay the way they are because that is what I am used to and I am afraid of the new and different. Perhaps the lack of stability and predictability here will be good for me. It will help me to get used to change and deal with it better.
Please wish me luck guys in my goal to live in the present more and not take things for granted. It might be difficult. I cant expect myself to give up unnessesary whining cold turkey, but I will try my best.
Dont worry. Be happy! = D
It is 2006 now, soon to be 2007. I am a 2nd semester sophomore soon to be junior, and I am a Benninton student. It is NOT 2005, I am not a 2nd semester freshman, and I am not a Drew student anymore. I need to stop living in the past and fully enjoy the present. I need to stop being such a whiny brat and be happy for the things that are really good in my life (and there are plenty of those to be happy about). College is fantastic, and it does not last forever. If I dwell on the things that are wrong in my life (which will always be there because nobody has a perfect life, and that is probably for the better because people grow through inperfection), if I dwell on those things now and take the good things for granted, I am SOO gonna regret it in a few years when I graduate. So yeah, smile! = )
I think my biggest problem is I am afraid of change, and I am horrible in dealing with it. I get used to a certain way of life, and even if I am not happy in that way of life, even if I am completely miserable, I want things to stay the way they are because that is what I am used to and I am afraid of the new and different. Perhaps the lack of stability and predictability here will be good for me. It will help me to get used to change and deal with it better.
Please wish me luck guys in my goal to live in the present more and not take things for granted. It might be difficult. I cant expect myself to give up unnessesary whining cold turkey, but I will try my best.
Dont worry. Be happy! = D