(no subject)
i miss the way that things used to be: no cares in the world. i used to dance around in my living room wearing my mother's shoes. they were big on me then. now i can't even fit a foot into her shoe. my hair was never an issue: put it up, wear it down, twist it around, who cares? you're young. appearance isn't an issue. all you want to do is find a playmate. i had so many friends back then. no drama, no lies, no popularity. we were our own individuals. we liked to run around the lunch room terrorizing the boys. we didn't care. they had cooties, remember? i used to collect sea shells and barbies. i'd ride on my dad's shoulders and think that i was flying. i was completely oblivious to the world around me and that's what made it so perfect. how do you prepare someone for growing up? for all of the unnessecary things they will soon experience.
back stabbing. lies. deceit. appearance. are you skinny enough? is your hair perfect? who is your boyfriend? who are your friends? do you party? did you hear?
i see no reason to hide anymore. i am rather uncomfortable in my skin, as most teenagers are. the question is why? what went wrong? why am i so worried about my weight, my hair, my friends. why did i succumb to all of this bullshit? high school is a crock of fucking lies, and if i could i would stay eleven forever. i'd rather live in a world where barbie is your friend, not your goal. i want to have pool parties and eat as much as i want. i miss my old friends. i would give anything to have that back. i want to have someone to fall back on, to laugh with. anyone at all. i just wonder why all of my past relationships with girls have failed. every day i am reminded why i try to stay away from them. all they do is hurt me when i'm down.
back stabbing. lies. deceit. appearance. are you skinny enough? is your hair perfect? who is your boyfriend? who are your friends? do you party? did you hear?
i see no reason to hide anymore. i am rather uncomfortable in my skin, as most teenagers are. the question is why? what went wrong? why am i so worried about my weight, my hair, my friends. why did i succumb to all of this bullshit? high school is a crock of fucking lies, and if i could i would stay eleven forever. i'd rather live in a world where barbie is your friend, not your goal. i want to have pool parties and eat as much as i want. i miss my old friends. i would give anything to have that back. i want to have someone to fall back on, to laugh with. anyone at all. i just wonder why all of my past relationships with girls have failed. every day i am reminded why i try to stay away from them. all they do is hurt me when i'm down.