why?
So my life sucks right now. I'm always a happy person, but I'm not right now and haven't been for a while. I have been faking happiness for some time. No one can really tell because no one really knows me that well except Christina. I've cried really really hard every single day this week. I don't understand. Just when I'm starting to get back into Church and going good with my walk with God, everything bad that could possibly happen, has been happening. Please just pray for me, if you remember. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic and trust God with my whole life, but it's so difficult when I'm being torn up inside. Maybe this is all supposed to draw me closer to God because people tend to lean on Him during hard times. I really am thankful for all the blessings I have in my life, and I guess everyone goes through a crappy stage, but I hate it. I just wanna be my old happy self again. It's gotten to the point where for the passed couple days, I've cried so hard that I almost throw up. Lord, please, I don't want to cry anymore... Please, help me to remember that You have a perfect will for me and I don't have to worry about anything. My life is in Your hands, Lord, and I want you to take control. I don't want to fake happiness anymore. I want real happiness and joy and peace. Thank You for all my blessings, and even my struggles. I know You are going to have the best for me and I thank you for that, also. I surrender all to You.