I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a piña colada
Why why WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING DIFFICULT?!
From the most insanely hugest thing ever to fucking updating my iPod, WHY!?!?
And then, then, on top of all of this, I spent an hour sitting up in bed wide awake last night because I had this dream about cannibals. Not just any cannibals. I dreamed I was at the cottage we sometimes rent on the lake, and I was looking for a movie to watch, and there was this DVD that was unmarked in the DVD player.
So I played it. And it was a snuff film. Of a bunch of cannibals eating this girl. And she's screaming her head off, and I vomited into my mittened hand (don't know why I was wearing mittens but I guess it's a good thing I was) and then my father asked what I was watching. "Oh, nothing, but it's time to wake up now."
Then I woke up, and for a good thirty seconds, contemplated getting in bed with my mommy because Jeebus, there's nothing like hearing someone screaming as she's being eaten alive to fuck with your brain.
I might like to drink a mai tai tonight, because I've never had one.
In the words of Homer Simpson, "alcohol - the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." Homer, you are more right than you know, my friend.
From the most insanely hugest thing ever to fucking updating my iPod, WHY!?!?
And then, then, on top of all of this, I spent an hour sitting up in bed wide awake last night because I had this dream about cannibals. Not just any cannibals. I dreamed I was at the cottage we sometimes rent on the lake, and I was looking for a movie to watch, and there was this DVD that was unmarked in the DVD player.
So I played it. And it was a snuff film. Of a bunch of cannibals eating this girl. And she's screaming her head off, and I vomited into my mittened hand (don't know why I was wearing mittens but I guess it's a good thing I was) and then my father asked what I was watching. "Oh, nothing, but it's time to wake up now."
Then I woke up, and for a good thirty seconds, contemplated getting in bed with my mommy because Jeebus, there's nothing like hearing someone screaming as she's being eaten alive to fuck with your brain.
I might like to drink a mai tai tonight, because I've never had one.
In the words of Homer Simpson, "alcohol - the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." Homer, you are more right than you know, my friend.