(no subject)
my day yesterday: i woke up at 645, got ready, left with my sister to pick up amanda, they smoke 2 bowls, i take a couple rips (i dont like to be very stoned when i go to class), i get out at 850. i do algebra homework until i have to go pick up my sister and amanda from school at 1045, we smoke a bowl, we drop off amanda. we go home so my sister could change and go to her first day at kmart. On the way we smoke a bowl. I drop off amanda, come home, eat some food, play guitar, start Thomas Wolfe's "of time and the river", i pick up my sister at 4, we smoke. she takes off with her friends, and i hang out for a while cause im going to record at IPR at midnight with derek denny, i decide to practice the songs im gonna sing. I get a call from Al, he come over, i drink a beer, we decide to go to chipotle with his friend colin, who packs a couple bowls. i eat a big burrito that kind of unraveled into a pile of goodness that i graciouslly eat with my fork. we leave, drop him off, and watch alkaline trio dvd, cermack brings over a girl and packs a couple bowls while we jam switching off between drums and guitar. girl starts to look annoyed, everyone leaves. im high. at 1150 i meet derek outside of IPR and we go in and I record two songs, they sound allright, slappy acoustic pop punk. i dont like how my voice sounds, i knew i wouldnt. It feels good to finally record something though, if i still think they are cool songs in a week or so, i will continue the project, otherwise i will probably abandon it. i play guitar cause i need to, not cause i want to. Its difficult for me to be proud of anything i make because it never comes out sounding how it does in my head, it sounds like a bad attempt at something sincere. Its like some absurd pop music. Then again, maybe pop music is absurd. I dont like the idea of people listening to what i make and write. Even if someone tells me its good, i still get the impression they don't get it. my lyrics sound dumb to me, i dont mean to sound like a crybaby or someshit. i dont wish to be one of the failures who takes on important meanings, only to miss the point. -sadder smiler