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i'm in the computer lab "working" on my english essay, only I really can't focus so I'm finding it very difficult. Life here has been good. I really do like CNU. I'm starting to feel at home here. I mean i've been calling this place home for nearly 3 months and now it actually feels sorta like home. I went down to Portsmouth last weekend for the end of the GCBSR to volunteer/ hang with my Whaler people, it was AWESOME. i heart sailors. i heart the sailing lifestyle. I feel invinceable on that boat. well, I did until steve broke my heart. But that's okay because i've almost recovered from that. that's a good thing right? Anyway talk about being side-tracked. I think the reason i feel so at peace on the water is because there is only a deck between me and the water. I mean it's like living in the fast lane one min but the next u realize the skies are blue and the wind is blowing just right and the sails are acting just the way they should and everything is just perfect. In fact I think i've realized that life is perfect. I mean life isn't fantastic or good but life is perfect. because if life wasn't the way it is then it wouldn't be life. follow me? Life is PERFECT just the way it is because life just is. I sit in the computer room in the college I choose to go to working on an assignment which is going to affect my future. well I guess everything i do or say or think affects my future but now i'm the one making all the decisions, I'm the one who decides to do the work or suffer the penalty, i'm the one who decides to get the tattoo and live with it for the rest of my life, i'm the one who decides how to respond to the situations life deals to me. it doesn't matter what happens because i am FREE, free to decide to use the bad for the good.
I don't know. I guess what i'm trying to say right now is that life isn't wonderful and painfree because then we would never appreciate the love and the good times. right now i'm sitting here and with my life before me i feel invincible and that is precious. my life isn't worry free by any means but i'm willing to jump in and make a difference because if I don't decide to run my life i'm letting someone else run it. someone elses standards and values and beliefs run my life, and i'm not willing to do that. I'm going to live my life in all it's perfectness through the pain and suffering and tradgedies because then it's mine. so next time i get hurt i just have to remember that life is perfect and i can come through everything if i just have the right attitude.
sorry guys. i know that is really random but i couldn't help it. i feel like i'm high right now because i'm just so worry free. but i'm not i promise unless they put something in the mac and cheese at dinner. I don't even know if i should post this cause it is so random but what the heck that's what LJ is for right? posting your feelings and life for everyone and their mom to read. so read on, read on!!!!!!!