"Okay, I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't"
So Happy Late Xmas everyone....and impending Happy New Years!!!
And may I just say that not a year goes by where my future husband, Howie Day, doesn't get arrested for something. I mean...you were so close to making it a free year Howie..why must you cause a comotion on an airplane?
In honor of the movie, "Clueless".... I'm totally buggin'.
I'm starting to get a little worried about ALLLLL the stuff I need to do before I leave on Jan. 2nd for LA. Plus, I'm sorta suppossed to be out of my house here, on Dec. 30th, and stay with friends till Jan. 2nd...and I havne't exactly started packing up my stuff. Plus, there's a bunch of details I still need to work out with my future roomie for our move...and I'm still working on Xmas presents that I owe to some people, plus...my parents. AND....I haven't been able to contact my boss about a small paycheck he owes me, and I need to talk to him about a band that wants to play at Will's Pub in January, and I need some frickin' January dates so I can finish the January calender...WHICH he probably won't get to me until the last minute....ARGGHHHHHHH!!! ANNND I'm suppossed to try and go back to Tampa before I leave to say goodbye to people..but SHIT gas is expensive and I have no idea when I'm going to be able to fit that into all my crazyness. On top of that...I wanted to get my headshots taken by someone who lives in St. Augustine before I leave...and when do I do that!? PLUS I OWE a bunch of people holiday cards (better late than never, right?)! SHIT!
So there's all this stuff I have to do, but my mind has been consumed with just a bunch of annoying thoughts lately. I keep getting disappointed with friends lately. I love all my friends, and I really believe I give them a lot of my attention, concern, and time, especially when we talk or when we're hanging out.....but I guess I've been feeling that I don't get a lot of it back in return. Why are people so fickle? I hate having "fair weather friends"...but it seems like that's what I've been getting from some people. Another thought: Why do friends make plans with you, sound really excited and positive it's going to happen...only to never go through with those plans, and not give so much as a phone call to explain? I really really hate that (mostly the 'no explanation' part).
I'll be the first to admit I'm a worrier. I've always been "the mom" of my group of friends. It's true though...I worry about the decisions my friends make once and awhile, especially decisions that are dangerous to their health/state of mind. I seriously can't help it sometimes....I mean, these people mean a lot to me, and I just feel like there's usually a way around it all, so nothing comes of my worrying. Does that make any sense? Although, I've lately been trying to tell myself that most of my friends KNOW what they're doing...at least they know what they could be getting themselves into..and people will and SHOULD always make their own mistakes/decisions. I've become better at the worrying..but it still gets to me.
I'll also be the first to admit that I know I've disappointed friends before. Especially my friends in Michigan. I've become pretty piss poor at keeping in contact with most of them, and it really does get to me more than they probably know. I know there's friends in Tampa that are sad that I haven't been able to see or talk to in awhile, even though I try and hit up Tampa as much as time and money allows me..but on the otherside, the only time anyone has really come to Orlando to visit me was when Tyfany and Danielle came up for my bday party, and when Jamie came to Orlando to go see The Honorary Title show with me.
To take a turn at even more "woo is me" thoughts: I feel completely emotionless sometimes. Okay..not EXACTLY, because I'm pretty good at motivating myself for my goals and I'm secure enough with who I am to get along just fine...but I'm completely sick of the idea that I haven't been in a relationship since flipping May 2003. HA. It's not like I haven't met a few guys that really meant a lot to me since then, but one of them seems to never want to contact me again. I fell pretty hard for him in just a few short days..and then he had to leave (OF COURSE, becuz that's the story of my love life) back in Summer 2004, and then shortly after that...I hear nothing from him. I think he came back to Tampa in Xmas 2004, and even asked a friend of mine about me..but no contact directly to me. and I just found out he has a myspace, blahblah so it's like GREAT now I have a way of sorta of seeing what he's up to...and I don't even WANT to know what's going on with him, but OF COURSE my curiousity gets the best of me. I'm refusing to contact him on stupid myspace though. It's mildly tempting..but I know I'll just end up being disappointed, and I can't allow myself to get caught up in him again. I just feel like I need some frickin' closure...so that's what's so frusterating about it.
Well, I didn't mean to segway into that subject.
Anyways, I just feel like it would be nice to feel..special to someone? It'd be great to have some inspiration...or SOMEONE to get me excited. It's a lot like when you were in high school, and there was always that crush who you looked forward to seeing everyday, who made it worth it to get up and go to school. ARGH, I sound completely worthless with all this. crapppp. I think I just need some QUALITY boy time. I don't want stupid random action (even though that can be fun sometimes), I want...like "this could/may lead to something meaningful, I want to keep seeing you" action. I want to feel something for that person and have the feelings returned. MUTUAL feelings are KEY. I want some freakin' passion behind a kiss.
Well, I certainly put all that out there.....making myself sound fairly rediculous and pitiful.
On the upside to things: I met Julie and Nicole before I moved out of Orlando..and I can't wait until they come to LA for their spring break, I only wish I met them earlier.
Me and Nicole after the Mashlin show at The Social on 12/7..it was a tad windy that night:
Julie and I in an I-Hop bathroom at 2:30am in the morning after a night out drinking and dancing at Backbooth on 11/14, and no that pee in the toilet is NOT ours:
Continuing the Upside: I took myself to see King Kong on Christmas Day, and it was just as amazing and memorable as seeing "Jurassic Park" for the first time, and I completley loved the film. I developed some old film from December 2004, and it included 2 pictures that I took when I met one of my most favorite music artists, Val Emmich. Let me be really conceded for a second and say that it is a damn hot picture of the two of us. hah. I should date him, (and NOT just for the fact that he's gorgeous) or be his best friend, haha. My mom treated me completely well on Christmas and bought me a beautiful diamond ring and other nice items. I recieved a Xmas card from Crystal. When I move to the West Coast...I'll definetly be able to see my Seattle relatives much more often.
Well, I guess it's healthy I got some of this off my chest. Now it's time to do more procrastinating.....
*MEG*
PS. I'm selling my bed and matress. Does anyone need a NOT EVEN ONE YEAR OLD BED? I'm selling it (ALL) for around $300, becuz, one..it's in great condition, two..it's a pretty nice bed, and three I slept on it, so it's gotta be worth a little bling. HAAAAAAAA.
PSS. This was a Florida Sunset on 12-12-05, pretty eh?
And may I just say that not a year goes by where my future husband, Howie Day, doesn't get arrested for something. I mean...you were so close to making it a free year Howie..why must you cause a comotion on an airplane?
In honor of the movie, "Clueless".... I'm totally buggin'.
I'm starting to get a little worried about ALLLLL the stuff I need to do before I leave on Jan. 2nd for LA. Plus, I'm sorta suppossed to be out of my house here, on Dec. 30th, and stay with friends till Jan. 2nd...and I havne't exactly started packing up my stuff. Plus, there's a bunch of details I still need to work out with my future roomie for our move...and I'm still working on Xmas presents that I owe to some people, plus...my parents. AND....I haven't been able to contact my boss about a small paycheck he owes me, and I need to talk to him about a band that wants to play at Will's Pub in January, and I need some frickin' January dates so I can finish the January calender...WHICH he probably won't get to me until the last minute....ARGGHHHHHHH!!! ANNND I'm suppossed to try and go back to Tampa before I leave to say goodbye to people..but SHIT gas is expensive and I have no idea when I'm going to be able to fit that into all my crazyness. On top of that...I wanted to get my headshots taken by someone who lives in St. Augustine before I leave...and when do I do that!? PLUS I OWE a bunch of people holiday cards (better late than never, right?)! SHIT!
So there's all this stuff I have to do, but my mind has been consumed with just a bunch of annoying thoughts lately. I keep getting disappointed with friends lately. I love all my friends, and I really believe I give them a lot of my attention, concern, and time, especially when we talk or when we're hanging out.....but I guess I've been feeling that I don't get a lot of it back in return. Why are people so fickle? I hate having "fair weather friends"...but it seems like that's what I've been getting from some people. Another thought: Why do friends make plans with you, sound really excited and positive it's going to happen...only to never go through with those plans, and not give so much as a phone call to explain? I really really hate that (mostly the 'no explanation' part).
I'll be the first to admit I'm a worrier. I've always been "the mom" of my group of friends. It's true though...I worry about the decisions my friends make once and awhile, especially decisions that are dangerous to their health/state of mind. I seriously can't help it sometimes....I mean, these people mean a lot to me, and I just feel like there's usually a way around it all, so nothing comes of my worrying. Does that make any sense? Although, I've lately been trying to tell myself that most of my friends KNOW what they're doing...at least they know what they could be getting themselves into..and people will and SHOULD always make their own mistakes/decisions. I've become better at the worrying..but it still gets to me.
I'll also be the first to admit that I know I've disappointed friends before. Especially my friends in Michigan. I've become pretty piss poor at keeping in contact with most of them, and it really does get to me more than they probably know. I know there's friends in Tampa that are sad that I haven't been able to see or talk to in awhile, even though I try and hit up Tampa as much as time and money allows me..but on the otherside, the only time anyone has really come to Orlando to visit me was when Tyfany and Danielle came up for my bday party, and when Jamie came to Orlando to go see The Honorary Title show with me.
To take a turn at even more "woo is me" thoughts: I feel completely emotionless sometimes. Okay..not EXACTLY, because I'm pretty good at motivating myself for my goals and I'm secure enough with who I am to get along just fine...but I'm completely sick of the idea that I haven't been in a relationship since flipping May 2003. HA. It's not like I haven't met a few guys that really meant a lot to me since then, but one of them seems to never want to contact me again. I fell pretty hard for him in just a few short days..and then he had to leave (OF COURSE, becuz that's the story of my love life) back in Summer 2004, and then shortly after that...I hear nothing from him. I think he came back to Tampa in Xmas 2004, and even asked a friend of mine about me..but no contact directly to me. and I just found out he has a myspace, blahblah so it's like GREAT now I have a way of sorta of seeing what he's up to...and I don't even WANT to know what's going on with him, but OF COURSE my curiousity gets the best of me. I'm refusing to contact him on stupid myspace though. It's mildly tempting..but I know I'll just end up being disappointed, and I can't allow myself to get caught up in him again. I just feel like I need some frickin' closure...so that's what's so frusterating about it.
Well, I didn't mean to segway into that subject.
Anyways, I just feel like it would be nice to feel..special to someone? It'd be great to have some inspiration...or SOMEONE to get me excited. It's a lot like when you were in high school, and there was always that crush who you looked forward to seeing everyday, who made it worth it to get up and go to school. ARGH, I sound completely worthless with all this. crapppp. I think I just need some QUALITY boy time. I don't want stupid random action (even though that can be fun sometimes), I want...like "this could/may lead to something meaningful, I want to keep seeing you" action. I want to feel something for that person and have the feelings returned. MUTUAL feelings are KEY. I want some freakin' passion behind a kiss.
Well, I certainly put all that out there.....making myself sound fairly rediculous and pitiful.
On the upside to things: I met Julie and Nicole before I moved out of Orlando..and I can't wait until they come to LA for their spring break, I only wish I met them earlier.
Me and Nicole after the Mashlin show at The Social on 12/7..it was a tad windy that night:
Julie and I in an I-Hop bathroom at 2:30am in the morning after a night out drinking and dancing at Backbooth on 11/14, and no that pee in the toilet is NOT ours:
Continuing the Upside: I took myself to see King Kong on Christmas Day, and it was just as amazing and memorable as seeing "Jurassic Park" for the first time, and I completley loved the film. I developed some old film from December 2004, and it included 2 pictures that I took when I met one of my most favorite music artists, Val Emmich. Let me be really conceded for a second and say that it is a damn hot picture of the two of us. hah. I should date him, (and NOT just for the fact that he's gorgeous) or be his best friend, haha. My mom treated me completely well on Christmas and bought me a beautiful diamond ring and other nice items. I recieved a Xmas card from Crystal. When I move to the West Coast...I'll definetly be able to see my Seattle relatives much more often.
Well, I guess it's healthy I got some of this off my chest. Now it's time to do more procrastinating.....
*MEG*
PS. I'm selling my bed and matress. Does anyone need a NOT EVEN ONE YEAR OLD BED? I'm selling it (ALL) for around $300, becuz, one..it's in great condition, two..it's a pretty nice bed, and three I slept on it, so it's gotta be worth a little bling. HAAAAAAAA.
PSS. This was a Florida Sunset on 12-12-05, pretty eh?