(no subject)
i don't really write in here anymore. because i don't know what to say or who i'm writing for. i have a journal that i write in when i really don't want anyone to see it...and being that i feel that way about most things, that i should keep them to myself, i don't really know why i have a livejournal anymore. but for whatever reason, i don't want to shut it down. so i guess i'll just keep it.
it's charmine's birthday today - happy 20th. it was martha's on the first. happy 20th to you too. it's scaring me that my friends are turning 20. i always thought that at 20, i'd be an adult. or at least well on my way. obviously that's not the case.
i don't know if college is for me anymore...but i don't want to leave because i want a degree. even though i have no idea what in. i would say I want to stay because of my friends...but that's a stupid reason to stay if I'm not getting anything out of it academically. Maybe i'll take a year off. starting january.
Maybe i should have waited awhile to start college...but it's too late now. i wish i could find a job or an internship that didn't have a minimum gpa. i have a test in an hour that i'm going to fail. i don't know how i feel about that. definitely not surprised. i forgot that sophomore year really counted. and i forgot why that was important to me. now it's also too late to start again. because i'm already behind. i don't want to tell my dad because he'll be disappointed. but i will tell him that i want to take a year off. i wonder if i can take classes in new york without being a student. maybe i'll find a roommate. but then i'll have to find a job which was my original problem. where can i find a job without a degree that will make me enough money to find a roommate or two and live in new york. i wish i was a different person.
it's charmine's birthday today - happy 20th. it was martha's on the first. happy 20th to you too. it's scaring me that my friends are turning 20. i always thought that at 20, i'd be an adult. or at least well on my way. obviously that's not the case.
i don't know if college is for me anymore...but i don't want to leave because i want a degree. even though i have no idea what in. i would say I want to stay because of my friends...but that's a stupid reason to stay if I'm not getting anything out of it academically. Maybe i'll take a year off. starting january.
Maybe i should have waited awhile to start college...but it's too late now. i wish i could find a job or an internship that didn't have a minimum gpa. i have a test in an hour that i'm going to fail. i don't know how i feel about that. definitely not surprised. i forgot that sophomore year really counted. and i forgot why that was important to me. now it's also too late to start again. because i'm already behind. i don't want to tell my dad because he'll be disappointed. but i will tell him that i want to take a year off. i wonder if i can take classes in new york without being a student. maybe i'll find a roommate. but then i'll have to find a job which was my original problem. where can i find a job without a degree that will make me enough money to find a roommate or two and live in new york. i wish i was a different person.