ugh...
i miss jonathan.i havent seen him in 2 weeks i guess that doesnt really seem that long but it really is. i have been crying for the past 30 minutes. hes just so far away, why cant he be closer, have a way to get here, something.. i love him so much i just wish i could be with him and hold him whenever i want. i see all those damn couples at school and they are kissing each other and walkin each other to class and i cant have any of that. in a little over a year though i will be living with him :D i just need him to be here i am really depressed. just everything, my brother is a jerk,my mom is on the verge of a breakdown,seriously it isnt long before she does, hes is so far away, there have been liek 5 deaths in the past 2 weeks and school is already stressing me out. i cant keep up with the house and school,i am close to a breakdown myself AND..its really finally hitting me that brandi is leaving i cant believe it i guess i have been trying not to think about it, but it is really happening she is my best friend she has been forever, how can she leave??? we still have 2 more years of school left we arent supposed to have to worry about this til college i am scared that we will say we will "stay in touch" but i am terrified that we will then it will just drift away i will try my damndest to make sure that doesnt happen i know that we dont talk all the time but we both know that we are there for each other no matter what we know that we dont have to question it, i have never had to question it i love her so much. two and a half years and its all just gonna end because of conneticut..i always knew the north was evil, it ruins everything. i just still cant believe its happening, why does she have to leave? brandi damn it why do you have to leave? damn it i am crying again i love you so much brandi i always have i always will dont ever forget that! promise me you wont and even if,god forbid, we do drift apart remember that i will always be with(and there for) you forever you are the best friend i have ever had ok i am gonna stop the keyboard is blurry god i am too emotional.... goodnight see you all tomorrow