(no subject)
life.
everything seems to be ending. i wish i didnt have so much resentment and hate towards people. i tend to never forgive. i say i forgive i guess i just dont forget. things are constantly changing. i wish i didnt despise anyone. life used to be so lovely. well life is lovely but confusing. high school is over. graduation is in 2 weeks but school is done. its crazy. i am so excited about the future and college but so nervous and scared. i dont really trust anyone. its kind of sad. i hold people up to standards which they cannot achieve and that in turn brings me down. it sucks. its Mothers day today. i absolutely love my mother like crazy. she is the most amazing person ever...along with my dad, brother and sister. the whole family is amazing and sometimes i treat them like crap. gah. sometimes i wish i could have a personality change where i wasnt so protective, worry-some, nervous, stubborn, jealous, bitchy. i try to work on those things but guys tick me off. im scared ill never get married because i only can take so much. i always seem to get hurt and they dont care. thats life. I was so close to God a couple years ago, even this summer. I was getting close to God again lately and these past two weeks....its not been too good. Ive got to get closer to Him. My life is falling apart. I still have Him in my life, but I have slacked off in reading the Bible and doing Daily Devotionals. I pray...that doesnt change. I know I need Him. I only trust Him. Only Him. Well my 18th birthday is tomorrow. crazy. somewhat of an adult. i hate how time goes by so quickly. Thank goodness God knows no time.
everything seems to be ending. i wish i didnt have so much resentment and hate towards people. i tend to never forgive. i say i forgive i guess i just dont forget. things are constantly changing. i wish i didnt despise anyone. life used to be so lovely. well life is lovely but confusing. high school is over. graduation is in 2 weeks but school is done. its crazy. i am so excited about the future and college but so nervous and scared. i dont really trust anyone. its kind of sad. i hold people up to standards which they cannot achieve and that in turn brings me down. it sucks. its Mothers day today. i absolutely love my mother like crazy. she is the most amazing person ever...along with my dad, brother and sister. the whole family is amazing and sometimes i treat them like crap. gah. sometimes i wish i could have a personality change where i wasnt so protective, worry-some, nervous, stubborn, jealous, bitchy. i try to work on those things but guys tick me off. im scared ill never get married because i only can take so much. i always seem to get hurt and they dont care. thats life. I was so close to God a couple years ago, even this summer. I was getting close to God again lately and these past two weeks....its not been too good. Ive got to get closer to Him. My life is falling apart. I still have Him in my life, but I have slacked off in reading the Bible and doing Daily Devotionals. I pray...that doesnt change. I know I need Him. I only trust Him. Only Him. Well my 18th birthday is tomorrow. crazy. somewhat of an adult. i hate how time goes by so quickly. Thank goodness God knows no time.