Not so Candid Camera - Tag 45825243-t78-a

[open_flame]

She tried to convince herself that she could report to the higher ups about Amy's situation without the use of the cameras the other woman had agreed to have installed in her office. Liz knew it was humiliating from her own experiance and did nothing to make Amy feel like she wasn't being 'babysat', but there was no choice. Amy had already been

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[45825243_t78_a]

Logan knows that Amy did some bad things. And he understands - as he would for himself - that those have consequences. Of course they want to keep an eye on her. He's not objecting to the basic principle. It's more the manner in which they - or whoever made the decision - chose to do it that he thinks is wrong. Treating her like a child is disrespectful, and it's not going to help. Amy has to want to change - and she does. So what exactly is the fucking problem?

Fine, so there's pressure from the higher-ups. He gets that. Throw them a bone, sure. Promise them something, especially if it's something they can't check on later. Logan isn't angry with Liz, and he's not assuming her job is easy - though he may think it's easier than it is. He does, however, disagree strongly with her methods in this particular case.

"There's other measures you coulda taken." No anger. The mere fact that he's not throwing accusations at her is, for him, a good sign that he's being reasonable - or as reasonable as he's likely to get. He's trying. "Tellin' her not to drink - all the little rules - ain't gonna help her."

[open_flame]

"Like what?" Liz looks at him with that helpless expression. "This is the way it's done, Logan. I screwed up and they threw me in a fireproof cell. Jack messed up and they kept him dead for I can't even remember how long. Red...got locked in his room all the time." She exhales, her frustration and exhaustion clear.

"What would you do to help her and make sure she's not going to hurt someone, Logan. We have normals here. We have kids here." Liz shakes her head. "I have to think about more than what makes Amy happy. I have to think about the safety of this entire organization. If she can't follow the little rules, how am I supposed to have faith she can follow the big ones like 'don't get pissed off and kill your team mates in a fit of empathy induced rage.'"

[45825243_t78_a]

"Cameras an' blood tests ain't gonna keep that from happenin'. Ain't gonna do anythin' but make her feel cornered an' more likely to lash out." Or so he assumed. That's how it would be for him; he knew that much. And if Amy and him weren't the same, they were enough alike, he thought, in this.

There was no easy solution to this. Liz had been around; she had to know. Having special powers also meant a risk to your surroundings, always - that was why so many people hated mutants. Was it right? No. Were they wrong to be afraid? Not entirely. It was just the way it was. Play with fire, people were gonna get burnt.

"End a' the day, you're just gonna have t' trust her. An' trust that there's enough people around that can take her down if she crosses the line."

[open_flame]

"You think I don't know that?!" Liz would have reacted in the same way Logan's suggestion. She has in the past, and she was only a child. Caging an animal never works, but sometimes training them does. And sadly, that's essentially what Amy is to Liz now. She's not her friend, she's not someone she even wants to be around, but Liz will protect her agents, all of them, with everything she has in her.

She decides then that this isn't the kind of conversation you have where other people can hear. Liz moves closer to Logan, dropping her voice. "I can't trust her. It's not just what the Feds want, she..." Liz's eyes state to glitter with tears. "When she first started here, she pushed Jack so hard he lost control of a part of himself that needs to stay in control...just to see what would happen if she did. She almost ended my marriage. She could havedestroyed this organization." She says roughly, her own memories of how badly she fucked up in Pittsburgh inching a little to close to memories. Liz swallows back the tears that threaten before looking at Logan.

"I forgave that...I did because...she didn't know. Not many people do, so it wasn't her fault, but when she attacked and beat my son...in a god damned public hospital." She looks away as the thought of that makes her angry enough to want to punch something. Liz doesn't know the details of that fight, all she knows is what the hospital camera's recorded and what the doctors treating Trevor said, and those broken bones in Trevor's face were not from the car accident.

"I can't, Logan. She threatened my family and all my friends with what she's done in the past. She has no regard for how what she does affects anyone but herself. She just doesn't care, and she has shown me very little to prove she's changed." It may be harsh, but it's honestly what Liz believed with all her heart. "Would you trust someone like that if you were me?"

[45825243_t78_a]

It shows how much Logan likes Liz that he lets her talk, and talk, even if none of it changes his opinion in the slightest. Only when she tells him about Amy beating up her son - Trev? - in a hospital does Logan's expression change from its usual quasi-defensive indifference to something less impartial, the furrow of his brow deepening slightly. He did not know that, and he's not sure he approves. But he doesn't have the facts, and for now, it's not his fight.

"No." Simple answer for a simple question. Had Amy attacked Kitty, for example, Logan would not only stop trusting Amy, but he would do her some serious physical harm to boot. No questions, no considering; that would be the end of it. "But I ain't the one runnin' this joint."

Not that Logan could do better at separating personal feelings from professional duties, and there was no doubt that the two overlapped in this case. The point was, Liz chose to take Amy back. And if that's the choice she made, she should stick with it. "Ya don't want her here, don't have her here. But none a' this half-in, half-out bullshit."

[open_flame]

If Liz had been 'herself' at the time, and hadn't had something more pressing like her son's rehabilitation from his addiction on her mind, she would have done just that. No one messes with her children. Ever.

She winces at the accusation she's puling rank by simply doing her job. Liz feels she's done a very good job at NOT doing that or making the matter personal in spite of the history she and Amy had. If it was Manning in charge, he would have found every single bit of dirty laundry Amy left and made damned sure it was held over her head forever. It's what he did with Liz, and Red and Jack and everyone else. Even Broom.

"It's not about running the place, Logan. It's about...," She pauses, spitting out a phrase she hates. "Sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...or just one. This is one of those cases. More than just Amy is at stake here. She has another chance, it's more than a lot of people would get and you know it as well as I do."

"It's not about what i want, either." Liz's face scrunches up. She sighs and looks at Logan. "She's in, Logan. She may have limitations, and need to be with a leader Jack and I both trust." Liz pauses to look at Logan pointedly. Now she's starting to get angry herself. "I didn't lock her in a cell or a cage like an animal. I didn't take her gun away. I didn't stick her on a desk and make her file mission reports all night. I could have...I didn't. Why isn't that in enough for you, huh?"

[45825243_t78_a]

"That is enough. That's the point."

While Logan would never want to take full responsibility for what Amy does - apart from anything else, that's no one's job but Amy's - he will, if that's what it takes. He appreciates Liz shielding Amy, in her own way, but he still feels there are limits to how much Amy needs to be babysat. There's a fine line between keeping an eye on someone and being pointlessly controlling. With the cameras and the blood tests, Liz has crossed that line. Though Logan isn't really angry at her anymore, he still doesn't agree with what she's done.

It's not that Logan thinks Liz is pulling rank, but she's using her position as an excuse to do something that in Logan's opinion doesn't need to be done. What she should be doing is use her position as an excuse to not do all of that. Screw pressure from above. Liz has the power to protect Amy, and she's only done half a job of it so far.

"How long's it been, now? She's doin' fine. Lay off the babysittin'." Which Liz is doing, apparently, if the sudden demise of the last camera is anything to go by. But why this speech, then? They seem to be both at the same page and in different books altogether, and Logan isn't liking the mixed messages.

[open_flame]

To be fair, Liz requested Amy have an psychological evaluation and set up counseling if the doctor advised it, and undergo screenings to make sure she wasn't drinking on the job. It's nothing more than they'd have requested of a an employee with a history of substance abuse...like Liz had to do after the whole mental hospital incident. Whatever else Jack requested of Amy is on his head.

"Have you ever been in rehab, Logan?" Liz tilts her head when he tells her Amy's doing fine. "Ever been on probation or anything like that?" She doesn't wait for him to answer. "After Pittsburgh, I was in prison. Then Broom pulled some strings, got the charges dropped, and..." She tenses thinking about that. "I left anyway. I knew I couldn't do it by myself so instead of being angry and resentful to the people here that tried to help me, I got the help I needed. For me. For them. So I could be a functioning member of the team again. I was gone almost a year."

Liz takes a deep breath and looks at Logan. "I donno what Amy needs. Every time I talk to her about it, she just goes in circles and won't answer my question of even consider my suggestion to help her. Then...I have to be her boss. She doesn't give me a choice when she acts like that." It's sad, but it's true. "I'm starting to think she doesn't want help at all. That she likes being...so broken."

[45825243_t78_a]

"What she wants, is her kid back."

Different people have different ways of dealing with things. Logan has tried both versions of post-screw-up measures himself in the past, and they both have their pros and cons. Sticking around can be harder. It can also mean you need your team more, can't risk being away from those who help balance you out, even if there is a risk. Sometimes, the risk of not having someone to keep you connected to who you are is bigger.

"Maybe she wants fixed, an' maybe she doesn't. Point is, if she ain't doin' it for herself, she's gonna do it for Luke." And that - that takes away any doubt, as far as Logan is concerned. Maybe he's projecting too many of his own feelings on Amy, but the fact is, there are times when fighting for yourself just isn't worth it. Fighting for others, however - having people to fight for, to be better than you are for? Anyone half-decent will do that, Logan is convinced. And Amy, for all her faults, is a good person. He knows she is. "You really don't trust her that far?"