[FIC] Reaching for Happiness, Jared/Jensen (6/?)
Chapter 6, guys. I'm really really sory for the long delay. I was very very busy. I hope you like this following chapter as well... xD
Author:freedomthisway
Character: Jared, Jensen, JDM, Mike Rosenbaum, Tom Welling.
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama, H/C
Warning: Rape/Non-con, underage, Jensen/OMC
Rating: PG-13 for now. Hard R eventually.
Chapter: 6/?
Summary:
Jensen is Jared's younger stepbrother. When Jensen was 7, his mother remarried to Thomas Padalecki, the head of the rich and famous Padalecki family.
Their closeness as child changed after they grew older and Jared found out his feelings toward Jensen. Not wanting to ruin the family, Jared chose to keep his love for Jensen inside and avoid him like crazy instead.
While Jensen was struggling to bear his own misery, he too realized his feelings for Jared, but didn't act on it because he assumed Jared hated him.
After 3 years of escaping from the family, hearing Thomas' death, Jensen decided to come back. Only to face Jared's hatred towards him.
All Jensen wants is a happiness and love with Jared by his side. Can he reach it eventually?
Author notes:
I'm not good at making summary, so please just read. :D
I finally post this fic because I suddenly got lazy to write and I need more motivation aside from persephone_c's constant poking and her saying, "Because this story is tooo good for it to be left incomplete, it'll be an injustice to all stories ever written if you don't continue it!!!" XD
I hail persephone_c for beta-ing this story restlessly. xD
Rating will go up as the story goes, but only up to R...XD
I hope you enjoy it! Comments are loved! XD
Chapter 6
Beeps in his phone line shake Jared out of his thoughts. Taken back for a moment by the feeling of despair that catches him off guard, it takes another minute before he finally pushes the connector button on his phone.
“What is it, George?”
“I am sorry, Mr. Padalecki. I know that you are not expecting anyone again today, but there is someone here who wants to see you.”
Jared grunts. He so does not need another guest today who is most probably just another far relative of his father, coming to offer their condolences. He feels tired and intends to take a nap before going back to his office.
“I don’t feel like entertaining an unexpected guest right now, George. Just tell them to come back another day.”
A pause, and then, “I am very sorry, Sir. But he told me that he is your stepbrother. His name is Jensen Ackles…?”
Jared froze. And only God knows how much time passes before George’s worried voice brings him back into reality. Ignoring the nausea building in the pit of his stomach, he forces himself to talk.
Hoarsely, Jared said, “Let him in. I’ll be waiting in the common room.”
---00o00---
It still hasn’t changed much, has it?
Jensen observes every hall, furniture, and every room he passes on his way to the common room where Jared is waiting, through the corner of his eyes. Tagging along behind this stern-faced butler (also a new one, apparently) who leads the way, Jensen tries hard to not notice how everything still is the same as before he left; how memories, mostly bad ones, assault his senses and his hard-earned confidence and leave him feeling weak and afraid. Feelings that he has decided he wouldn’t allow himself to feel, for it’s in the past and Jensen won’t let anything intimidate him now. He has control over his life now. He can do what he wants, when he wants. And no one can force him to do anything against his will, ever again.
Finally the butler stops in front of a big oak door, a door Jensen recognized clearly as the one leading to the common room. More memories assault him and he has to squeeze his eye lids down hard to shut his eyes and will them away. He opens his eyes again and grips the hem of his shirt nervously.
Behind this door, Jared is waiting for me. After all this time I can finally see him again.
If anything, Jensen knows that he deserves to be this nervous and hesitant. He had left this house and what’s left of his family three years ago. Left nothing behind but some half-assed parting words scribbled on a note.
He doesn’t regret his leaving, God no. He still thinks that it was the right thing to do. That’s the only thing he could do in order to protect himself and his sanity because, sadly, no one else was left for him to turn to except himself. So no, he does not regret it.
What he does regret is how things were left between Jared and him. Thomas was an asshole and he deserved nothing from Jensen, but Jared is a different story. Jared deserves a proper goodbye.
Although Jared had never been there for him ever since he started his first year in senior high school and Jensen was in his second year of junior high, slowly extricating himself from Jensen through constant avoidance. But before then, when Jensen had still been a new addition to the family and then for the good six years that followed, Jared was always there for Jensen. It was like Jared was his second skin. As the older of the two, Jared was always protective and loving towards Jensen, almost possessive in a way like no one ever had been or ever was again. To Jensen, Jared always was his protector, his mentor, his best friend, and a very solid shoulder to cry on. So Jensen became attached deeply to Jared, even more than he did towards his mother.
So even though Jared’s withdrawal hurt him bad, Jensen never resented him for it. Jared never said why he did what he did, and Jensen never had a chance to ask. The only conclusion left for Jensen was that he is not good enough for Jared. Jared is Padalecki’s first born. He has plans and futures ahead of him, served on a golden platter. And maybe to Jared, Jensen is simply not a part of it. Even though technically Jensen is also a Padalecki, but deep inside, Jensen never thinks of himself as one. He is an Ackles through and through and he is proud of it. So he never dreamt of the day he’ll run Padalecki’s empire together with Jared. Instead, he bust himself out in studying, eager to be the best so that after he graduates, he can count on himself to earn a living. So he never really made it his concern when Jared talked to him about Padalecki’s lines of businesses. He only nodded and responded properly because it was Jared who’s talking. Because it is Jared, whom in the end, Jensen always knew he loves. So much that sometimes his heart feels so hollow on one hand, but strangely full in the other, just by thinking about him.
If anything, Jensen always know that Jared will ace this business thing. He has a passion for economy and always seemed to enjoy it when he talked about it. And even though he was still a teenager at the time, Jared already knew a lot about business because Thomas expected and trained him to be that way.
So when finally Jared set out for his future, maybe he realized that Jensen won’t and can’t be his partner. That even after all the façade Jensen had put on to pretend that he was interested in business as much as Jared was, Jared could see right through it and found out that Jensen was everything but. That maybe even after all the things he and Jared had shared together, this one important thing won’t be one of them. Maybe that’s why Jared decided to pursue his dream alone. Avoiding Jensen is only one of his ways to focus on his goal. And Jensen can’t blame him for that. He is only his step brother after all. Jensen is only a sad tag along after his mother that is bound to Jared’s family only by a piece of paper, namely the marriage contract. As poor as they were, Jensen and his mother joined Padalecki’s household bringing nothing but only a few possessions with them. It was a very stark contrast compared to Jared’s family. Their wealth could barely keep Jensen from gaping like an idiot when he visited Padalecki’s residence for the very first time.
Simply put, though Jensen and Jared are brothers, their worlds are too different. But Jensen is foolish. He is a fool who dares to fall in love with his own stepbrother. So it wasn’t Jared’s fault if Jensen’s feelings were hurt by his own foolishness, right? Jared just wanted to reach his dream and be the person everyone expected him to be, and one of the ways to achieve that is avoiding Jensen because God knows how much an annoying distraction Jensen can be.
So really, there’s no reason to fuss about it. And there’s no reason for Jensen to be mad at Jared for avoiding him. He owes Jared and Jared’s family too much for that. And Jared is too good for accepting Jensen’s love anyway.
That’s why he kept his pain and hurt due to Jensen’s abandonment buried deep inside his heart, repressing his bad memories and hiding his love for him.
Even during his avoidance, not even once did Jared hurt Jensen intentionally. He treated Jensen and his mother respectively. Every decision that he made for himself and the family, Jared would always first talk to Thomas and them. Just like when Jared decided to move to a boarding house in his university in order to be more focused on his studies and make his time spent more efficiently, he then told his decision to the rest of the family over dinner and asked for their opinion. Despite the feeling of dread and terrible sadness Jensen felt at that time, knowing that the distance between Jared and him will increase even more with this plan. Jensen would lose his only place to hang onto, knowing that he would be alone in his miserable life, Jensen had just smiled and supported Jared’s decision because it’s very kind of him to ask for Jensen’s and Mary’s opinion. Jensen felt included and close to Jared because even when Jensen is no good to Jared, Jared still thinks of him as family. He hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. And to Jensen, it proved that Jared was kind.
So, Jensen has no reason whatsoever to treat Jared the way he does. But his leaving must have left Jared very confused as to the reasons. He probably thinks of Jensen as an ungrateful brat. And though Jensen had a good reason to leave, the way Jensen left things between him and Jared is unforgiveable. And only God knows how Jared feels about him now. So Jensen braced himself. He is prepared to take responsibility of his own actions. Even if it means that he’ll instantly be kicked out of the house only second after Jared meets him. But if Jared, for whatever reason, allows him to stay, Jensen will make the very best to make it up to him. And while he’s at it, he will try to mend his relationship with Jared too. He will try to make Jared love him the way Jensen does. He’ll do anything it takes to do just that. Then maybe, for once, he can reach his own happiness. A kind of happiness that he always thought will never grace him in any way.
TBC
Chapter 7 is up in the next post.
Author:freedomthisway
Character: Jared, Jensen, JDM, Mike Rosenbaum, Tom Welling.
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama, H/C
Warning: Rape/Non-con, underage, Jensen/OMC
Rating: PG-13 for now. Hard R eventually.
Chapter: 6/?
Summary:
Jensen is Jared's younger stepbrother. When Jensen was 7, his mother remarried to Thomas Padalecki, the head of the rich and famous Padalecki family.
Their closeness as child changed after they grew older and Jared found out his feelings toward Jensen. Not wanting to ruin the family, Jared chose to keep his love for Jensen inside and avoid him like crazy instead.
While Jensen was struggling to bear his own misery, he too realized his feelings for Jared, but didn't act on it because he assumed Jared hated him.
After 3 years of escaping from the family, hearing Thomas' death, Jensen decided to come back. Only to face Jared's hatred towards him.
All Jensen wants is a happiness and love with Jared by his side. Can he reach it eventually?
Author notes:
I'm not good at making summary, so please just read. :D
I finally post this fic because I suddenly got lazy to write and I need more motivation aside from persephone_c's constant poking and her saying, "Because this story is tooo good for it to be left incomplete, it'll be an injustice to all stories ever written if you don't continue it!!!" XD
I hail persephone_c for beta-ing this story restlessly. xD
Rating will go up as the story goes, but only up to R...XD
I hope you enjoy it! Comments are loved! XD
Chapter 6
Beeps in his phone line shake Jared out of his thoughts. Taken back for a moment by the feeling of despair that catches him off guard, it takes another minute before he finally pushes the connector button on his phone.
“What is it, George?”
“I am sorry, Mr. Padalecki. I know that you are not expecting anyone again today, but there is someone here who wants to see you.”
Jared grunts. He so does not need another guest today who is most probably just another far relative of his father, coming to offer their condolences. He feels tired and intends to take a nap before going back to his office.
“I don’t feel like entertaining an unexpected guest right now, George. Just tell them to come back another day.”
A pause, and then, “I am very sorry, Sir. But he told me that he is your stepbrother. His name is Jensen Ackles…?”
Jared froze. And only God knows how much time passes before George’s worried voice brings him back into reality. Ignoring the nausea building in the pit of his stomach, he forces himself to talk.
Hoarsely, Jared said, “Let him in. I’ll be waiting in the common room.”
---00o00---
It still hasn’t changed much, has it?
Jensen observes every hall, furniture, and every room he passes on his way to the common room where Jared is waiting, through the corner of his eyes. Tagging along behind this stern-faced butler (also a new one, apparently) who leads the way, Jensen tries hard to not notice how everything still is the same as before he left; how memories, mostly bad ones, assault his senses and his hard-earned confidence and leave him feeling weak and afraid. Feelings that he has decided he wouldn’t allow himself to feel, for it’s in the past and Jensen won’t let anything intimidate him now. He has control over his life now. He can do what he wants, when he wants. And no one can force him to do anything against his will, ever again.
Finally the butler stops in front of a big oak door, a door Jensen recognized clearly as the one leading to the common room. More memories assault him and he has to squeeze his eye lids down hard to shut his eyes and will them away. He opens his eyes again and grips the hem of his shirt nervously.
Behind this door, Jared is waiting for me. After all this time I can finally see him again.
If anything, Jensen knows that he deserves to be this nervous and hesitant. He had left this house and what’s left of his family three years ago. Left nothing behind but some half-assed parting words scribbled on a note.
He doesn’t regret his leaving, God no. He still thinks that it was the right thing to do. That’s the only thing he could do in order to protect himself and his sanity because, sadly, no one else was left for him to turn to except himself. So no, he does not regret it.
What he does regret is how things were left between Jared and him. Thomas was an asshole and he deserved nothing from Jensen, but Jared is a different story. Jared deserves a proper goodbye.
Although Jared had never been there for him ever since he started his first year in senior high school and Jensen was in his second year of junior high, slowly extricating himself from Jensen through constant avoidance. But before then, when Jensen had still been a new addition to the family and then for the good six years that followed, Jared was always there for Jensen. It was like Jared was his second skin. As the older of the two, Jared was always protective and loving towards Jensen, almost possessive in a way like no one ever had been or ever was again. To Jensen, Jared always was his protector, his mentor, his best friend, and a very solid shoulder to cry on. So Jensen became attached deeply to Jared, even more than he did towards his mother.
So even though Jared’s withdrawal hurt him bad, Jensen never resented him for it. Jared never said why he did what he did, and Jensen never had a chance to ask. The only conclusion left for Jensen was that he is not good enough for Jared. Jared is Padalecki’s first born. He has plans and futures ahead of him, served on a golden platter. And maybe to Jared, Jensen is simply not a part of it. Even though technically Jensen is also a Padalecki, but deep inside, Jensen never thinks of himself as one. He is an Ackles through and through and he is proud of it. So he never dreamt of the day he’ll run Padalecki’s empire together with Jared. Instead, he bust himself out in studying, eager to be the best so that after he graduates, he can count on himself to earn a living. So he never really made it his concern when Jared talked to him about Padalecki’s lines of businesses. He only nodded and responded properly because it was Jared who’s talking. Because it is Jared, whom in the end, Jensen always knew he loves. So much that sometimes his heart feels so hollow on one hand, but strangely full in the other, just by thinking about him.
If anything, Jensen always know that Jared will ace this business thing. He has a passion for economy and always seemed to enjoy it when he talked about it. And even though he was still a teenager at the time, Jared already knew a lot about business because Thomas expected and trained him to be that way.
So when finally Jared set out for his future, maybe he realized that Jensen won’t and can’t be his partner. That even after all the façade Jensen had put on to pretend that he was interested in business as much as Jared was, Jared could see right through it and found out that Jensen was everything but. That maybe even after all the things he and Jared had shared together, this one important thing won’t be one of them. Maybe that’s why Jared decided to pursue his dream alone. Avoiding Jensen is only one of his ways to focus on his goal. And Jensen can’t blame him for that. He is only his step brother after all. Jensen is only a sad tag along after his mother that is bound to Jared’s family only by a piece of paper, namely the marriage contract. As poor as they were, Jensen and his mother joined Padalecki’s household bringing nothing but only a few possessions with them. It was a very stark contrast compared to Jared’s family. Their wealth could barely keep Jensen from gaping like an idiot when he visited Padalecki’s residence for the very first time.
Simply put, though Jensen and Jared are brothers, their worlds are too different. But Jensen is foolish. He is a fool who dares to fall in love with his own stepbrother. So it wasn’t Jared’s fault if Jensen’s feelings were hurt by his own foolishness, right? Jared just wanted to reach his dream and be the person everyone expected him to be, and one of the ways to achieve that is avoiding Jensen because God knows how much an annoying distraction Jensen can be.
So really, there’s no reason to fuss about it. And there’s no reason for Jensen to be mad at Jared for avoiding him. He owes Jared and Jared’s family too much for that. And Jared is too good for accepting Jensen’s love anyway.
That’s why he kept his pain and hurt due to Jensen’s abandonment buried deep inside his heart, repressing his bad memories and hiding his love for him.
Even during his avoidance, not even once did Jared hurt Jensen intentionally. He treated Jensen and his mother respectively. Every decision that he made for himself and the family, Jared would always first talk to Thomas and them. Just like when Jared decided to move to a boarding house in his university in order to be more focused on his studies and make his time spent more efficiently, he then told his decision to the rest of the family over dinner and asked for their opinion. Despite the feeling of dread and terrible sadness Jensen felt at that time, knowing that the distance between Jared and him will increase even more with this plan. Jensen would lose his only place to hang onto, knowing that he would be alone in his miserable life, Jensen had just smiled and supported Jared’s decision because it’s very kind of him to ask for Jensen’s and Mary’s opinion. Jensen felt included and close to Jared because even when Jensen is no good to Jared, Jared still thinks of him as family. He hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. And to Jensen, it proved that Jared was kind.
So, Jensen has no reason whatsoever to treat Jared the way he does. But his leaving must have left Jared very confused as to the reasons. He probably thinks of Jensen as an ungrateful brat. And though Jensen had a good reason to leave, the way Jensen left things between him and Jared is unforgiveable. And only God knows how Jared feels about him now. So Jensen braced himself. He is prepared to take responsibility of his own actions. Even if it means that he’ll instantly be kicked out of the house only second after Jared meets him. But if Jared, for whatever reason, allows him to stay, Jensen will make the very best to make it up to him. And while he’s at it, he will try to mend his relationship with Jared too. He will try to make Jared love him the way Jensen does. He’ll do anything it takes to do just that. Then maybe, for once, he can reach his own happiness. A kind of happiness that he always thought will never grace him in any way.
TBC
Chapter 7 is up in the next post.