Oh, the things you'll see..
My life is a crazy kaleidoscope of happiness, of chaos, of love, and of laughter. While I cannot say things are perfect, they are slowly finding a middle ground that I am comfortable with. Joe moved out here. It was a little strange, actually. All we knew was he was coming to visit, and it became apparent in the last week before he got here, that he had bought a one-way ticket and had every intention of NOT going back to Maryland. Neither Matt nor I actually asked him (were we afraid of the answer?), but yeah. I think we knew. Anyways, this was... just over a week ago. Anyhoo, since I had not seen Joe since he left to go visit Maryland two years ago, called me and told me to move, and I left to come back to the midwest, I was quite excited. I asked that since I had the two days following his arrival off, that he come stay with me. And the three of us, meaning Matt, myself, and Joe, were quite fine with this arrangement. He would stay here for a couple days, then he and Matt would go back to Matt's parents' and figure out the plan from there.
Ahh, the best laid plans... The day after Joe's arrival, it became apparent that Matt's family, who does not particularly care for me, was a bit more than miffed that Joe had chosen to come see Caden and I before going up there. Joe, being the sort of person that he is, was malcontent with the idea of anyone being upset because he chose to see an old friend and his godson. My mother and I, who are painful familiar with being the cause of Matt's family's displeasure, offered to let him stay here, and that seemed to be the plan, as well. Until Matt finally got tired of being screwed over by work, and quit. Oh, my. Well, the two of them decided unanimously and quickly that they wanted to live out here, and not in Kansas, for many reasons. Cost of living, to be closer to Caden and I, etc. The crux of it all is that, if they're trying to find work and an apartment out here, it's not even remotely feasible for them to be living fifty miles away. Gas prices being what they are, we all agreed that they can stay with me until they find a place, on, of course, the stipulation that they are actively seeking employment and their own place. My tiny two-bedroom is nearly full already with Mom, me, and Cade. So you can imagine that having two grown men staying here as well has messed with my whole routine. We've had a few bumps, but they are both really trying hard to get on their feet. Especially Matt. I'm very, very proud of him. I know that things between he and I have been confused, and that we've had our issues, but for the first time in a long time, I am enjoying seeing the man that I love busting his ass to make a life for his family. It's wonderful to have him back.
On the Matt note. I keep getting emails from various people (most of whom make fake accounts and say horrible things, lol), saying that Matt has a whole seperate life, and a girlfriend, and that he's using me to be close to his son. For one spectacular night, I lost my mind about this and accused Matt of some not nice things. And then it occurred to me. Of COURSE these people who hate me want to break my family up. Of course they want to hurt me, and hurt us. So, I've come to the conclusion that this is my life. That man sleeps in my bed, holds me, helps me with the nightmares, wakes up beside me, kisses me when I'm sad, and busts his ass to do what he can to be the amazing father that he is. If he has a seperate life, he's doing a very good job of hiding it, neh? He's living with me, when would he have time to have this life? He is my boyfriend, he supports me, and my mother. He has been there for us through all the bad stuff these last few months. Tomorrow is his birthday. And while I may be too financially strapped to do anything for him, I WILL get up with Caden, I WILL make him breakfast, and I WILL make him feel good and wanted and important to me. And nothing any of those people do or say will break apart my family again. Ever.
:)
Ahh, the best laid plans... The day after Joe's arrival, it became apparent that Matt's family, who does not particularly care for me, was a bit more than miffed that Joe had chosen to come see Caden and I before going up there. Joe, being the sort of person that he is, was malcontent with the idea of anyone being upset because he chose to see an old friend and his godson. My mother and I, who are painful familiar with being the cause of Matt's family's displeasure, offered to let him stay here, and that seemed to be the plan, as well. Until Matt finally got tired of being screwed over by work, and quit. Oh, my. Well, the two of them decided unanimously and quickly that they wanted to live out here, and not in Kansas, for many reasons. Cost of living, to be closer to Caden and I, etc. The crux of it all is that, if they're trying to find work and an apartment out here, it's not even remotely feasible for them to be living fifty miles away. Gas prices being what they are, we all agreed that they can stay with me until they find a place, on, of course, the stipulation that they are actively seeking employment and their own place. My tiny two-bedroom is nearly full already with Mom, me, and Cade. So you can imagine that having two grown men staying here as well has messed with my whole routine. We've had a few bumps, but they are both really trying hard to get on their feet. Especially Matt. I'm very, very proud of him. I know that things between he and I have been confused, and that we've had our issues, but for the first time in a long time, I am enjoying seeing the man that I love busting his ass to make a life for his family. It's wonderful to have him back.
On the Matt note. I keep getting emails from various people (most of whom make fake accounts and say horrible things, lol), saying that Matt has a whole seperate life, and a girlfriend, and that he's using me to be close to his son. For one spectacular night, I lost my mind about this and accused Matt of some not nice things. And then it occurred to me. Of COURSE these people who hate me want to break my family up. Of course they want to hurt me, and hurt us. So, I've come to the conclusion that this is my life. That man sleeps in my bed, holds me, helps me with the nightmares, wakes up beside me, kisses me when I'm sad, and busts his ass to do what he can to be the amazing father that he is. If he has a seperate life, he's doing a very good job of hiding it, neh? He's living with me, when would he have time to have this life? He is my boyfriend, he supports me, and my mother. He has been there for us through all the bad stuff these last few months. Tomorrow is his birthday. And while I may be too financially strapped to do anything for him, I WILL get up with Caden, I WILL make him breakfast, and I WILL make him feel good and wanted and important to me. And nothing any of those people do or say will break apart my family again. Ever.
:)