I know I just posted...
..but I remember how nice it feels to rant on here when it feels like no one is listening to you.
So, after I posted last night about my fiancee being an asshole about his drinking, we had a HUMONGO fight. Like, screaming ((me)) and whining ((him)). Anyways, to make a long story short, I yelled myself hoarse, cried for awhile, and grew up. He realizes how hard it is for me to accept his constant drinking. I know he does. But it's this last tiny little bit of his life that he has left, and he's clinging to it like people tend to cling to things. Here is what was finally said :
Me : I respect your beliefs. But I am watching you kill yourself before I get a chance to tell you how great God is, how great eternity can be. I am going to lose you before you open your heart, and I will spend eternity alone, and that terrifies me.
Him : How can I believe in God after [everything that has happened in his life]?
Me : God does not allow anything to happen that we are not strong enough to deal with. He tests us, and the Devil tempts us. We can fall prey to his seduction when our faith isn't strong, but when we fall, God will carry us.
Him : Don't do it, don't talk to me about God.
Me : I will spend the rest of your life telling you about God.
Him : Don't cry.
Me : You think of eternal loneliness and try not to cry.
Him : Do you know how much I love you?
Me : That doesn't make it any easier. And I won't sit back and watch you drink yourself into a coma before I get a chance to show you everything.
And that was pretty much it. I may not be the best Christian alive. In fact, I am FAR from that. I have bad morals at times. I don't always think about what I'm doing before I do it. I often fall from the straight and narrow.
But I know how to find it.
And I will spend forever telling everyone I know the way there. :)
And for the record? Melanie is coming home soon; and that makes me weepy, because I need her, and it shall be a very lovely vacation.
So, after I posted last night about my fiancee being an asshole about his drinking, we had a HUMONGO fight. Like, screaming ((me)) and whining ((him)). Anyways, to make a long story short, I yelled myself hoarse, cried for awhile, and grew up. He realizes how hard it is for me to accept his constant drinking. I know he does. But it's this last tiny little bit of his life that he has left, and he's clinging to it like people tend to cling to things. Here is what was finally said :
Me : I respect your beliefs. But I am watching you kill yourself before I get a chance to tell you how great God is, how great eternity can be. I am going to lose you before you open your heart, and I will spend eternity alone, and that terrifies me.
Him : How can I believe in God after [everything that has happened in his life]?
Me : God does not allow anything to happen that we are not strong enough to deal with. He tests us, and the Devil tempts us. We can fall prey to his seduction when our faith isn't strong, but when we fall, God will carry us.
Him : Don't do it, don't talk to me about God.
Me : I will spend the rest of your life telling you about God.
Him : Don't cry.
Me : You think of eternal loneliness and try not to cry.
Him : Do you know how much I love you?
Me : That doesn't make it any easier. And I won't sit back and watch you drink yourself into a coma before I get a chance to show you everything.
And that was pretty much it. I may not be the best Christian alive. In fact, I am FAR from that. I have bad morals at times. I don't always think about what I'm doing before I do it. I often fall from the straight and narrow.
But I know how to find it.
And I will spend forever telling everyone I know the way there. :)
And for the record? Melanie is coming home soon; and that makes me weepy, because I need her, and it shall be a very lovely vacation.