(no subject)
I want to be up at camp. I want leaves and summer breeze. I want sun breaking through the forest. I want to dive in and in a moment lose contact with everything else. Mostly, I want that feeling, that feeling I only get when the fire light is warm on my face and look around and realize that I am surround by the people that I love most in this world. "oh country roads, take me home, to the place where I belong...."
I went to the beach with Dan and Kathryn today. It should have been perfect. I ran down to wade my feet in while they lay out the blanket and when I came running back up I collasped inbetween them. That was the only perfect moment. I couldnt tell what was off with the rest of the day. Dan teasing Kathryn. Kathryn pretending not to care. Me being immature and getting frustrated with myself as I am making a conscious effort to grow up here. Sometimes, I think this school is my neverland. No matter what I do, I'm not growing. I am driving myself insane and everyone else along with me. The beach was so beautiful though. I was suppose to work but Rodney couldnt think of anything for me to do...actually, before he really had a chance to come up with anything I was out the door and enjoying the lovely day! Three more weeks and the first thing I am going to do when I get home...is go up to camp and maybe I will forget to get a job this summer, maybe I will move up there and I wont need money. I will bathe in the lake everyday and eat blueberries and climb trees and draw, I'll draw all day. The water. Or maybe I will become a writer. I always wanted to be a writer. Maybe....and maybe I will get a real job.
Who wants to go on a bike trip with me? (My lack of money = lack of gas = anticar trip = bike trip)
Lets bike to the cape! Lay on the beach when we get there. My mom once told me I wasnt allowed to visit Justina because she thought she would be a bad influnece on me. Talking with my mom about Justina I was only 8 or 9 and for the first time in my life I knew that I was right and my mom was ignorant. I think she knows that now too. Anyways, I would day dream in those days about riding to her house. What it would be like to sleep on the side of the road with my bike and the look on my aunts face when I showed up. I wondered what roads to take since I knew it wasnt legal to ride on the highway (thats another story). But now, I should do it. What else am I going to do this summer?
I'm going to skydive. Well, I hope so. Dave and Sean want to go....Walsh family outting!
I went to the beach with Dan and Kathryn today. It should have been perfect. I ran down to wade my feet in while they lay out the blanket and when I came running back up I collasped inbetween them. That was the only perfect moment. I couldnt tell what was off with the rest of the day. Dan teasing Kathryn. Kathryn pretending not to care. Me being immature and getting frustrated with myself as I am making a conscious effort to grow up here. Sometimes, I think this school is my neverland. No matter what I do, I'm not growing. I am driving myself insane and everyone else along with me. The beach was so beautiful though. I was suppose to work but Rodney couldnt think of anything for me to do...actually, before he really had a chance to come up with anything I was out the door and enjoying the lovely day! Three more weeks and the first thing I am going to do when I get home...is go up to camp and maybe I will forget to get a job this summer, maybe I will move up there and I wont need money. I will bathe in the lake everyday and eat blueberries and climb trees and draw, I'll draw all day. The water. Or maybe I will become a writer. I always wanted to be a writer. Maybe....and maybe I will get a real job.
Who wants to go on a bike trip with me? (My lack of money = lack of gas = anticar trip = bike trip)
Lets bike to the cape! Lay on the beach when we get there. My mom once told me I wasnt allowed to visit Justina because she thought she would be a bad influnece on me. Talking with my mom about Justina I was only 8 or 9 and for the first time in my life I knew that I was right and my mom was ignorant. I think she knows that now too. Anyways, I would day dream in those days about riding to her house. What it would be like to sleep on the side of the road with my bike and the look on my aunts face when I showed up. I wondered what roads to take since I knew it wasnt legal to ride on the highway (thats another story). But now, I should do it. What else am I going to do this summer?
I'm going to skydive. Well, I hope so. Dave and Sean want to go....Walsh family outting!