if we werent all crazy we would go insane
I'm suppose to be doing work...my eyes hurt...none of my friends wanted to do presents this year and you know me so I adopted a family in New London and I am having so much fun with them. Its hard because they need so much practical stuff and I want to be able to get them games and things too...Its making me really happy though =) So thats about all I did today, went to class and shopped for my family, went to the gym with Kathryn and now I'm "studying" according to her and we are going to take a study break together and I "better do work until then" . I bet she knows I'm online. Hmmmmm. This isnt good. So Roche told me today that I wont see him before he goes away forever. I'm not really ok with that at all. I havent seen him all fall which is a really long time for us...longest time by far. Things arent working out with us right now but it makes it all seem so final...him moving away. I havent really let go of the idea of forever, I still wanna marry that man. I dunno its just drastic is suppose. Sometime soon I'm going to let other boys be happy with me. I promise. I dunno, I push em away pretty hard. Always have and looks like I always will. I have a sluttly dress that I love minus the sluttyness so I was wearing it around the room trying to find something to wear with it to cover my boobs. Sarahs reaction was that I should wear it, I'll get laid if I do. Kathryns was disgust, informing Sarah that I dont need to show the school my boobs to get laid. Kathryn makes me happy. I dunno what it is about the two of us and our standards but my theory is that it has to do with both of us having been in true love. I know what thats like and somehow I cant seem to settle for anything less these days. The dates and the boys are just....they bore me and the thought of kissing them disguists me. "I think I'll take the first one who does something unique" So basically I dont know what to do. I'm a college girl who isnt intersted and dating or random hookups and has an uncompromising sex drive yup thats me. I want Bridget now. I want finals to end. I want to go to Greece. I want to go sailing with Bassett and get made fun of. I want it to not be akward with him because I love him more than life itself. I want him to stay here with me. I want him to transfer and be happy. I want him to be happy here. I want to be able to make him happy. I want to ride a horse on the beach. I want to go running. I was talking to my boss about my parents and all of our random trips because my dad went to London last weekend to go Christmas shopping. And he said, "I knew there was something about you and now I know what it is. You were raised to believe anything is possible. If you wanted to get up and go to China today you can. You honestly believe that" and I do but the way he said it made me smile and realize why I think that way and how much of my dad I have in me. Clearly I can go to China. He could too but he would never leave without years of finical assurance, a travel agent, and months of planning. He dropped me off at the train station and asked what time he should pick me up. I said, I dont know I havent look at the schedual or thought about when I'll be coming back. He thought I was insane. I am insane. I am happy.