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May 15, 2005 21:15


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??? I should just call him since I'm clearly not studying...gah bah meh nah grrrrrrrr...I was always the one who hated the crushing stage and I maintain that role. What do I do now? I need to get out of this school for one thing and then maybe I will have time to day dream but for now I have to take finals and I just cant do it...I tried to study art history and I tried to think of what he would say to help me remember and I tried to say things right (yes, the only segment of architecture history that I can say correctly starts in the 1700s and moves through present) What is wrong with me, I said to myself, "Kristin, you will not have crushes on boys cause they are bad for your health and have cooties" and then I says "you dont like him you dont like him you dont like him" and then Kathryn says, "wow, stop glowing and tell me his name" to which all I could muster was "damn it I do dont I?" crap crap crap crap crap (make sure you read that with a beat). What this summer holds is so scarey. Will I let Roche break me apart again? Probably. Will I actually hang out with Ricci like I said I would? Probably not. Will I move past my junior year crushes ever? Oh the two of them run my life. Maybe I will just be single and that will be ok. Maybe I will meet someone knew and that will royally suck. I have learned that relationships suck in college cause you are either together at school or at home so youre together the majority of the time if you are at school together but you miss all the fun stuff like Christmas and Summer. Therefore, boys suck. Wow, I'm not getting any further on my art but at least I look like I'm doing something when Kathryn looks over hehehe ohhh, she moved out today. I mean, she is still staying until Tuesday to be with me but her parents came and took everything, we are just going to share stuff...it will be funny, our last nights of college will be the first time we sleep together haha I usualy move a lot faster than that! Then again, the friends that I share beds with dont typically have their own 3 feet away either. Theo left and I didnt cry but I almost did gah bah...why did he have to go? Despite this whole shitty move out deal I am excited about next year. I have a great room...Theo and Ben are rooming togther and have already declaired that their fouton is offically my bed so I am going to spend most of my time with them and Kathryn is right next door and Sarah is sweet and I am taking fantastic classes! So yeah, summer will be hard, sleeping without Kathryn will be hard and I will probably talk to her before I open my eyes in the morning like I always do. At least Theo lives in MA and I can go visit him any time I want which I intend to take advantage of. Ben I'm really going to miss, he is going to Turkey for the summer and then driving cross country when he returns (can you say jealous?) oh and Dan I was all excited cause Dan lives in MA but he is working in some forgien state all summer. ok ok enough of this rambling that even I dont want to reread I must do some work and get some sleep cause tomorrow is a big day!
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