Why The Hell?
I'm sitting here in front of this damn computer thinking to myself. I look down at my clothes and ask myself, "why the hell did I join the Army?". My life at home wasn't perfect but still. How does one who does not know end up doing it instead?
I hate everything right now. People. Clothes. Computers. Friends. Boys. People. Did I say that already?
I'm so freakin' pissed I can't even type. I don't want to talk. I don't want to cry yet I'm crying inside. I'm loveless, thoughtless, heartless. Part of it is due to a guy. But most of it was brought on by myself. He doesn't matter. No one matters. I don't matter.
"You're too clingy." is all I can hear in my head. It echoes like the train on a Sunday morning.
"Did you fuck him?" is all I hear from my Ex-fiance' after he found out I cheated on him.
These two sentences just won't go away. I want to strangle the words until they have no meaning. Until the life pours out of them and I can be free again.
I'm in the Army, the freakin' Army. Everyone is so proud!!! But the only people who matter, I miss the most. It's like I signed my life away. I always thought there was a reason I chose this passage of life. Cuz everything has a reason. I didn't question it. I thought it was just because. And now that I think of it, I can't think of an answer and my usual logic doesn't help.
What's wrong with me. I want control of my life. I want my life back. I have no regrets but am wondering if I should.
These people around me are just fluttering like butterflies.
This is wrong.
You Look like ass.
It has waves.
I sure hope your bunk looks good.
You're ate up.
You're too clingy.
Did you fuck him?
I'm sick of this fuckin' shit. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to shout, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in a world where I don't exist yet I can't leave.
I'm alone yet people surround me.
I feel insane.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to lose my mind...
I hate everything right now. People. Clothes. Computers. Friends. Boys. People. Did I say that already?
I'm so freakin' pissed I can't even type. I don't want to talk. I don't want to cry yet I'm crying inside. I'm loveless, thoughtless, heartless. Part of it is due to a guy. But most of it was brought on by myself. He doesn't matter. No one matters. I don't matter.
"You're too clingy." is all I can hear in my head. It echoes like the train on a Sunday morning.
"Did you fuck him?" is all I hear from my Ex-fiance' after he found out I cheated on him.
These two sentences just won't go away. I want to strangle the words until they have no meaning. Until the life pours out of them and I can be free again.
I'm in the Army, the freakin' Army. Everyone is so proud!!! But the only people who matter, I miss the most. It's like I signed my life away. I always thought there was a reason I chose this passage of life. Cuz everything has a reason. I didn't question it. I thought it was just because. And now that I think of it, I can't think of an answer and my usual logic doesn't help.
What's wrong with me. I want control of my life. I want my life back. I have no regrets but am wondering if I should.
These people around me are just fluttering like butterflies.
This is wrong.
You Look like ass.
It has waves.
I sure hope your bunk looks good.
You're ate up.
You're too clingy.
Did you fuck him?
I'm sick of this fuckin' shit. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to shout, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in a world where I don't exist yet I can't leave.
I'm alone yet people surround me.
I feel insane.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to lose my mind...