(no subject)
In thirteen hours I'll be back in Oklahoma. I'll be 'home' again. The funny thing is it's not home. I have no home.
San Diego was home, National City was home. Oklahoma isn't. It's just where I live. I hate it, I always have, I'm sure I always will.
I'm still looking for home and here I am in Jacksonville, Florida. It's not home either, but I like it here. I like pretty much everyone I've spent more than two minutes around and just about everywhere I've gone. Even the club and I'm not the club type by any stretch of the imagination.
I've enjoyed being here immensely and just hanging around, even if we're not doing anything, even if nothing is going on. Maybe I'm just glad to be out of that hell hole, but I don't think so.
I really don't want to leave. I don't have anything to return to really. Just family I haven't even cared enough about to call since I've been here. The only contact I've had with any of them was via messaging and that was with my brother.
I'll get back and have to find a job but there really aren't any jobs there last I checked, not in my area at least.
As far as I know Roux moved to Colorado so the only real friend I have left is Randy and we never really hang out, he's a lead man at Cadet now, he's got a family, so it doesn't really bother me. He's got real responsibilities.
This place isn't home. Home may not exist. But out of all the places I've been to since I first left home almost ten years ago, this place is the best.
San Diego was home, National City was home. Oklahoma isn't. It's just where I live. I hate it, I always have, I'm sure I always will.
I'm still looking for home and here I am in Jacksonville, Florida. It's not home either, but I like it here. I like pretty much everyone I've spent more than two minutes around and just about everywhere I've gone. Even the club and I'm not the club type by any stretch of the imagination.
I've enjoyed being here immensely and just hanging around, even if we're not doing anything, even if nothing is going on. Maybe I'm just glad to be out of that hell hole, but I don't think so.
I really don't want to leave. I don't have anything to return to really. Just family I haven't even cared enough about to call since I've been here. The only contact I've had with any of them was via messaging and that was with my brother.
I'll get back and have to find a job but there really aren't any jobs there last I checked, not in my area at least.
As far as I know Roux moved to Colorado so the only real friend I have left is Randy and we never really hang out, he's a lead man at Cadet now, he's got a family, so it doesn't really bother me. He's got real responsibilities.
This place isn't home. Home may not exist. But out of all the places I've been to since I first left home almost ten years ago, this place is the best.